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Have crush on older woman.

soundsystem00

soundsystem00

Bluelighter
Joined
Mar 19, 2005
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14,849
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In my head less and less.
Her name is Sarah. She started working at my place a few weeks ago. I noticed her right away. Well we have slowly started talking more and more and i was mentioning facebook to someone and she jumped in the convo and later added me.

That is when things got heated. She confessed on liking me ever since she first saw me, how cute i was, etc. then things got sexual. The messages, that is.

The problem is, she has a boyfriend. He works with us but on a different side so we dont see him alot. She is currently living with him too. She speaks of possibly moving.

She is older. She is42. Im only 25. We have a lot of chemistry, it seems. She looks about 29 to be honest. Everyone in the office drools over her.

Past night she gave me a ride home. She was alot more distant and not very receptive to my flirting and backed away when i tried to touch her. She claims she told herself not to cheat on her bf.

Then then sexual frustration comes on, and the fear of being in the friend zone again..this is all normal but t is still hard.

On top of all this, i have 9 months sober and am going through alot and dont need the extra drama. To be honest, i really just want to bang her, but she is relationship material as well.

Any advice? Wtf do i do?
 
If you don't have a place and she lives with her boyfriend how exactly are you supposed to bang her?
 
Lol don't do it if he works there. I'm really attracted to a guy at my work too but he's seeing a girl in a different department. We chat a lot and we've hung out after hours but nothing has happened mainly because that shit *will* one day blow up in my (your) face unless you plan on quitting soon. We've kept it to just flirting while he and I are technically involved but even if I wasn't I would not do anything while he is seeing someone else here.
 
Thanks lysis. Thats what all my friends said too until they saw her pic, then they said "go for it, fuck it!"

That is how insanely goreous she is. Plus she use to be an english teacher so i learn a lot of big words from her.
 
yeah if you all work together i'd wait till she was single. Really... If she'll fool around on him, she'll probably fool around on you too.

But other than that, i say go for it when the time is right.
 
iheartthisthread said:
tell her i said "how YOU doin'"
Click to expand...

Hahaha

If she has a boyfriend you should respect her boundaries...imo even if she decides to cheat on him with you you shouldn't agree but that's just me. If she's been flirting with you it sounds like she's probably not very happy with him though, so who knows, that might foreshadow an end to their relationship, in which case you'd (very) probably have a chance. If this chance presents itself though, I would ask myself if you really want to get involved with someone so much older than you and probably in a very different part of her life. I mean just imagine you guys get together and in a few years you want a child but she can't have one anymore...that sort of thing.
I went out with a guy who was about 15 years older than me this summer and it ended because of that. Not the same ofc cuz I'm younger than you but still. It's not an easy thing to do.
 
Thanks so much pagey, that was some good advice.

I like older people in general. Most of my friends are older. That being said, no, i dont want to have kids with her. But.. I dont want kids for a long time anyway.

I am just going to chill, things will work themselves out. Im going to let them. Im not going to try to force things. She is obviously not happy with her bf and contimplating breaking up with him and moving out. She kind of HAS to be with him right now cuz she doesnt have a place to stay.

And i wish i could flaunt a pic of her, sir, but its against forum guidelines and these are my homies.
 
Well, wait until she's broken up with her boyfriend before you go for it. Girls with boyfriends are generally off limits. You wouldn't want a guy making moves on your girlfriend, right? So don't do it for his. If she's unhappy, she's got to break up the relationship herself.
So find someone else you're into. There are LOTS of gorgeous women out there. Lots of gorgeous older women too, I'm sure you can find someone else for the time being.
If they break up ... then go for it. If not, you've gotta tone it down and get over her.
 
soundsystem00 said:
Thanks so much pagey, that was some good advice.

I like older people in general. Most of my friends are older. That being said, no, i dont want to have kids with her. But.. I dont want kids for a long time anyway.

I am just going to chill, things will work themselves out. Im going to let them. Im not going to try to force things. She is obviously not happy with her bf and contimplating breaking up with him and moving out. She kind of HAS to be with him right now cuz she doesnt have a place to stay.

And i wish i could flaunt a pic of her, sir, but its against forum guidelines and these are my homies.
Click to expand...

Lol I wasn't suggesting you want kids with her. I was just saying that as an example of something that could turn out to be a problem if you date someone that much older than you. There's also a very big difference between having older friends, and a girlfriend 17 years your senior imo :\
Anyway yeah, just go with the flow, don't force things and just see how it turns out.
 
she flirted with someone younger that she found attractive and was reciprocating the motions.

when realizing it was something more than that and that your feelings could be hurt/affected; and her relationship severed; she backed away.

shes old enough to know the end result; and wise enough to not go down that path if she truly cares for her partner and sees/wants a long term future with them.

this is why shes backing off (even if for a moment she entertained the thought of fucking you; and tries to stay close with zero intent of furthering that; by her simply hanging around; with you both on a thread; to satisfy her own selfish pleasures; warning signs are flashing).

im sorry op; i truly dont think anything serious, nor a sexual relationship between you both; was intended to be and in the long run will only lead to trouble granted your current professional relationship with them both.

...kytnism...:|
 
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