Sometimes you never really understand a phrase like that until you have a point of reference. And she really is haunting my dreams. A ghost from 16 years back who comes and goes and I'm left with the emotional ether still floating soft wisps inside me this morning. Tears evaporating under my skin. I can never really get hold of it and just yank it out like I would want to.
I have let her go so many times but still I cannot help but feel her when she is in my dreams. I cannot help but feel.
I have just learned to let it ebb out of me in the day. But it takes a lot, especially for me. Someone who processes everything down to the last detail possible. And then some.
I woke up in the middle of the night with her still in my head, I woke up this morning with her fresh from a new dream. Twice in one night. Once a month. It's getting a bit much now. I want to wake up feeling cocky and stupid again, hair bushing out fucked up on one side and proud of it. Not empty, and cold like I did today.
I will let you run sorely from my life this morning baby, but please not tonight. I need to live now. I need to let you go. Again.
![:\](https://bluelight.org/xf/BL_Images/Orig_Emoji/wrygrin.gif "wry grin :\")
I have let her go so many times but still I cannot help but feel her when she is in my dreams. I cannot help but feel.
I have just learned to let it ebb out of me in the day. But it takes a lot, especially for me. Someone who processes everything down to the last detail possible. And then some.
I woke up in the middle of the night with her still in my head, I woke up this morning with her fresh from a new dream. Twice in one night. Once a month. It's getting a bit much now. I want to wake up feeling cocky and stupid again, hair bushing out fucked up on one side and proud of it. Not empty, and cold like I did today.
I will let you run sorely from my life this morning baby, but please not tonight. I need to live now. I need to let you go. Again.
