Nothing bad has ever really happened to me on anything major, the worst was probably being on shrooms and wanting to walk home through the fields but all these coppers being down the road near said fields. Turned out to be fire engines, from the fire station right next to the fields. And walking through the woods nearby, coming up on shrooms, and seeing a bunch of blokes in army camo go tramping past the footpath above us. Not bad, but one of those genuine 'did that just happen?' moments because there is absolutely no army barracks or anything anywhere near there.
Worst has probably been booze and weed. We'd got through a few bottles of whiskey and god knows how much weed between three of us, and were walking home one night, winding down, and some bloke shouted over asking us if we had any fags (this becomes somewhat ironic later). We did! And we were drunk and stoned and feeling generally good, though tired. This guy said he'd swap us some booze for fags or whatever so off we wandered into his house. In there was some other lad, and we drank, smoked and chatted til the other lad went upstairs, and the first guy, obviously at this point off his tits on MDMA or something similar, asked us if we wanted to go in the hot tub. We declined for whatever reason and he's like 'alright' and starts getting naked. I'm still stoned and this is freaking me out a bit, sat on the sofa in between my two male friends. We started making excuses to leave while he strips stark bollock naked and goes to kiss my friend to my left, who kindly and promptly shoved him to the side, onto myself. I wasn't having any of that and thrust (har) him upon the mate to my right, who, being a kickboxer, promptly belted him one and threw (ok, drunkenly shoved) him to the floor. We got up to leave and crazy naked guy started chasing my kickboxing friend round and round the through living room/kitchen like some fucked up rapey Benny Hill thing, dick waving, shouting that he wanted to fuck him. They did maybe two or three circuits before my other mate picked up a dining table chair and spanged the potential rapist around the head with it. Collapsed like a sack of potatoes and we did one. Ran all the way out the house down the road and well up the next one before we stopped.
And we only stopped because the police made us. Absolutely fucking shat it, but it turns out they were just suss cos we were out late and looked underage, which I think the two lads were at the time. They took our booze, and told me I could come pick mine up in the morning if I wanted because I showed them one of them citizen's cards or whatever and they wouldn't accept it but told em I did have a driving license. Anyways I'd been wearing a suit jacket because I was one of THOSE teenagers and had kept a mix of beer, whiskey, and fuck knows what else hidden up my sleeve, left the lads to walk home, drinking that. Get in to find my Grandma had died.
I like to think she'd approve of how incredibly wrecked I was at that moment

So yeah uh it was scary as hell while it was happening but we laugh about it now and the guy didn't die so all's good.
Also got two blokes come in with knives waving em about and blaming my (German) friend for drawing a swastika outside on the fence because one of these guy's girlfriends was black so obviously the German guy didn't like her and drew a swastika? It was basically a ploy to get our (shitty) weed because German guy had bragged to them on the way into the flats that we'd got weed when they hadn't been able to get any. So they'd waited half an hour and come to visit with their knives and their scarves pulled up like we wouldn't recognise the cunts. If I remember correctly one of them just got done for murder, so slippery slope, eh? I might be wrong though but it was definitely one of the few dealers kicking round town at the time. Fucking shit town for dealers this place, they're all cunts. Won't touch any of em with a ten foot pole now, would rather wait three days and get it from a friend or a mate who grows than deal with them. Small town syndrome, or something. Want to be a big boy but can't really pull it off.
And them's my stories, which I have told a thousand times on here, cos generally anything REALLY bad that happens to me is my own fault.