Yes. I learned what it was like to trily have a drug addiction that invaded every moment of my life. I learned what it was like to have to shoot up vefore work and pop several T1s at the last quarter of a shift just to skate by TIL my first shot the second I got home. I was a functioning addict. I went to college, got my own place in the city. I got a good job and cleared over 50k net in 2017. I learned what it was truly like to have a substance control my every fibre of my being. I learned what the street was really about, as fucked up as it really is. I led a double life, completely.
before that I had major alcohol addictions and Id done every drug at some point. But the truedrug addiction emerged when I was about 25/26... after I got off of heroin with methadone, crystal meth took over. I’ve since quit methadone and only had one short lived opiate relapse in 3 years. Meth introduced me to the screeching monkey which is on my back noe, and may be forever even if I never use again. Meth taught me same as heroin, tenfold.
I am off the opiates though. I went on methadone maintenance and tapered off. So now I know what it’s like to beat a severe drug addiction. I just wish I could Hearn to beat the next level of it. It’s do or die, slowly or instant. People get this hooked on down too; and With down its possibe to die instantaneously, and it’s nothing what happens afterward.
march 4th this year I purposefully overdosed on fentanyl in a suicide attempt. I was dead at the scene revived by paramedics. I know what it’s like to die. It’s literally nothing, and nothikng worth striving for. In a sense opiates taught me that too. They taught me that I want to live and not lead this horrible life, a junkie with nothing worth naming.
Opiates woke me up. They damn near took me down too. It’s not worth it. No addiction really is. You can get off of it. People do it every day. It’s possible.