has anyone actually QUIT after an OD!?

[Jabberwocky]

just wrote this in a blog but wanted to post here, too! wondering if anyone else truly "woke up" after an OD.

I am talking about one OD and then ENOUGH from there. not my case, because I have OD'd multiple times, but want to hear about others.

so, over the past month and a half I've been the BEST I've been since being on the outside (jails, institutions, and.. well, not death) in a long ass time. I actually went 3 weeks w/o using; yes, I am scripted bupe but to me that is sobriety, so fuck off if you think otherwise.

well, even when on bupe I'd still screw up and always used every 3-4 days but managed to go 3 weeks before eventually going back and buying a GOOD AMOUNT of dope from the usual; anyway, I was always shooting fent laced dope, so it was pure white, but he gave me 2 brown bags and I was just thinking to myself, "wow, this will suck; no fent in here". well, I open up 1G and I decide to shoot 1/3 - I get the shot off after being OFF suboxone the last 24hrs and I feel great; I seriously felt great but in my head, as a usual junkie, I am still thinking I could feel better, or should have shot more. so I go back to the stack and there is 2/3 of a G remaining. I split it into 4 shots and I take 1 shot.

now, mind you, I am on the phone w/ my GF who knows what I am doing; we are doing SKYPE and she sees me shoot. well, I shoot and I say something stupid; then all of a sudden a look comes over my face, and I just slowly start to close the eyes and just pause in the same spot for literally 2-3 minutes. finally I start to slowly, very, very slowly tip over onto the ground. I knocked over a glass bottle on the table, the chair, the needles, etc. 20 mins go by and I wake up on the fucking FLOOR of my kitchen w/o a clue as to what happened. I suddenly get up and just clean and clean, pick things up, broken glass, etc. so the minute I am done w/ that what do you think I did next!? thats right, I shot another 1/4 what I had left.

from there I called the girl back and she was in panic mode said she was going to call the cops, etc. she is a addict/past addict herself so she has an idea how the game is played, unfortunately. its sad that I did that and I ended up finishing those 2G's that night. I was miserable the whole next day and just did not feel myself; I felt much better taking my 12MG bupe daily than I did after shooting that dope, or even while on the dope.

since that day, which was over a week ago, I have not touched or used again. I have had no urges, only bad thoughts and memories about what happened last weekend and how that COULD have been my last day living; it was just a wake up call I feel, right? I almost OD'd AGAIN.. and if anyone was there w/ me I prob. would have woken up in a ambulance or a hospital. I am thankful I was alone and thankful no one did anything and just let me awake; yes, I could have died but I didnt and it, once again, had woken me the fuck up!

I know, I know.. this has happened to others and they went back. well, I've OD'd multiple times but for whatever reason this past few months things have just felt different; that last OD truly woke me the fuck up. I have been living a fun, happy life the past 4 months I've been "clean". and I almost took it all away last week because I wanted to "try" something because I "missed" it I told myself.

its shit like this that sometimes truly "wakes" us up.

 

[LilikoiMoon]

Your tolerance was probably low due to the bupe. That's why many OD after rehab or bouts of sobriety because they've been on maint. meds for a while.

My nephew died not long ago from methadone/xanax combo. A sick joke played on him by some friends to akid who had no knowledge of drugs and zero tolerance. I bet if he had lived after OD, he'd never done it again.

Best wishes to you.

 

[Jabberwocky]

a joke played? if you dont mind me asking, what happened exactly?

usually the bupe keeps the tolerance somewhat higher; I am on 12MG/day which is a good dosage. I was just looking for far too much that day and chasing something that wasnt there; I am almost glad it happened because it woke me the fuck up.

 

[szuko000]

I dont think many people quit after ODing on any substance, unless they never intended or were going to continue using.

Obviously this is different for everyone but my point is if you were using a substance for an extended period of time, having good experiences almost all of the time, and then you have a single bad experience it is not likely to change ones view of what they are doing. So if you gave dope, mushrooms, mdma, or anything and it was their first time or they were strictly casual it would probably cause them to quit as the number of bad experiences to good is much closer then someone who has been using for a while.

My closest thing to what you are saying was when i took too big of a hit o' crack. I was positive i was going to black out once it came on, never before had i felt so awful from anything and scared knowing that i might collapse in front of my girlfriend and little brother from too much crack. It was not something i ever wanted to have happen especially in front of them, they would panic because usually i am the one who handles everything. That was the only time i ever got close adn that only lasted 3 weeks then i took a little one, as i was still scared from the time before, got a mini rush and well we all know how that goes.

When I ODed and fell out in front of my g/f she panicked and her brother called the ambulance and i left in it even though i aws fine and refused treatment. I never paid that bill F them i didnt want to go lol. But neither one of those terrible experiences lead to me quitting. Quitting is something that is a part of you, it is not because of any one event. It may "push you over the edge and be the last straw" but it is not likely that one single event will lead to you quitting regardless of how meaningful it is... Even falling in love.