Need Help has anybody used a paid fertility testing service?

[Jabberwocky]

not really sure if this belongs in H&R.... might move to LAVA who knows.

basically, i am failing to get pregnant. i'm going to contact my dr, but the NHS is on its knees so i'm not sure i can expect much.

i've seen some services like Hertility that do at home kits so you give some blood then send it off. is it worth it?

i'm so convinced that long term amenorrhea has fucked my fertility, though part of me wonders if i actually have like 10 years worth of eggs that i would have released if i had have been getting my period. so in a way maybe i'd have more healthy eggs? it would be nice if i could have one good thing from long term anorexia.

also please no one tell me i shouldn't have kids. i've posted about this topic in another forum and someone told me that the world is so fucked i shouldn't bring a child into it. my recovery from both my ED and addiction requires me to have hope for the future.

 

[Nurse Ratched]

I have heard that these clinics are pretty successful but out of this world expensive. If you want children disregard what other people say. It's a personal choice whether this world is Heaven or Hell. You want kids.......do what ya gotta do.

You are probably gonna be one of the women that has sextuplets with your luck, right?

 

[Arnold]

Who says the probem lies with you?
Could also be your boyfriend who's got a problem.

You both need to go and see a fertility specialist.

 

[Jabberwocky]

I have heard that these clinics are pretty successful but out of this world expensive. If you want children disregard what other people say. It's a personal choice whether this world is Heaven or Hell. You want kids.......do what ya gotta do.

You are probably gonna be one of the women that has sextuplets with your luck, right?

these are services that just test if you have obvious problems through blood, which i'd then provide my NHS GP to hopefully get me a referral. not the eyewateringly expensive clinics, those aren't an option for me.

sextuplets would kill me lol. my friends got twins and even with him and his wife there i find them exhausting!!

Who says the probem lies with you?
Could also be your boyfriend who's got a problem.

You both need to go and see a fertility specialist.

am going to speak to my boyf about it too. i just feel like if there is a problem, my atrocious lifestyle will be to blame.

i dunno if it makes a difference but he's from a large family and 2 of his siblings have kids.... whereas my parents struggled to conceive and my sister has a problem with a genetic link that impacts fertility. though i only found out bout that a few weeks ago so not got myself checked.

i tried to fill out the econsult thing for my GP today to see what the NHS offers, if i can at least find out what bloods i can get done for free before paying. but it was not available. fml. gonna try again tomorrow.

keep trying to convince myself i'll just get like 2 dogs and 3 more cats instead, but brain is not accepting that as an alternative.

it would help if i ddidn't have so much PTSD around sex, i could have 'tried' a lot more if that wasn't the case.

 

[Jabberwocky]

i just feel like if there is a problem, my atrocious lifestyle will be to blame.

Don't be so sure. Male fertility has been on a shockingly downward trend for decades now. Even in young, healthy men.

"In 1992, a study found a global 50% decline in sperm counts in men over the previous 60 years. Multiple studies over subsequent years confirmed that initial finding, including a 2017 paper showing a 50% to 60% decline in sperm concentration between 1973 and 2011 in men from around the world."

 

[RUC4]

Don't be so sure. Male fertility has been on a shockingly downward trend for decades now. Even in young, healthy men.

"In 1992, a study found a global 50% decline in sperm counts in men over the previous 60 years. Multiple studies over subsequent years confirmed that initial finding, including a 2017 paper showing a 50% to 60% decline in sperm concentration between 1973 and 2011 in men from around the world."

i have read similar things and hear similar things. i've heard processed food blamed. i've heard of soy blamed for this. water quality. i would say i agree with whoever said have the male partner checked also. and good luck Chinup.

 

[Jabberwocky]

gonna try wth the NHS econsult service again today. if it fucking tells me that its not available outside practise hours all day while WE ARE IN PRACTISE HOURS like it did yesterday then i'm gonna cry.

will tell my boyf to get his swimmers checked. he has said he would do it if he needed to, but he also threw a fit about taking fertility vitamins cos that was somehow insulting his swimmers. he does take them now though without prompting.

whole thing is just so stressful. am i really sure i just don't want a load of dogs and cats?

 

[Jabberwocky]

i got a form from the dr for blood tests. i asked for everything the paid service said they would test, 2 things were missing on the form. so maybe there is some value in the paid tests, or maybe those things are random meaningless crap.

what's heartbreaking is my mum saw the form and decided it was time to tell me that she had had 3 miscarriages and needed hormone injections to be able to carry a pregnancy to term. and she didn't do all the bullshit i done with her health, like seriously she's never tried a single drug, drinks max 2 drinks in a session very slowly, has been a healthy weight. none of the stuff that i fucked up basically.

so that's both my mum and my sister with health problems that impact fertility and neither of them have any of the lifestyle factors i do. got my blood test tomorrow. hope they at least get the blood easily.

 

[Jabberwocky]

so drs appointment was OK. she was very nice, i need a load more blood tests, an ultrasound, and am being referred immediately to a specialist.

she mentioned PCOS as a possibility, which is easily treatable and therefore i really hope that, if there is an issue and its not just bad luck so far, that it is that.

i'm just glad i wasn't waved off and told to have more sex, anyone on this board that knows me knows how hard this bit is for me. also a renewed motivation to stop drinking, as if i needed one.

 

[Jabberwocky]

the answer to the original question about whether a paid fertility service is almost certainly no if you have public healthcare.

anyway i came on because i've been in tears basically all day. getting my period this time has just crushed me, partly i think cos of meeting my cousin's baby and how perfect he was, and also i'd had a dream that i was pregnant. i don't put any stock in dreams but at this point i'll cling onto anything for hope.

i've been told my ultrasound was 'satisfactory' and nothing major showed on my blood tests. i still haven't had a positive ovulation test despite doing them every day this month again, until like the final week cos it seemed pointless- there had been a kinda peak but not enough for it to be a positive result, then it had gone back down to almost nothing so i figured that was that. its the third month i've done that, the timing of the 'almost' positive is all over the place, but the general pattern is the same. i'm still waiting on a gynae appointment, today is the day i'm supposed to call if i haven't heard, which i haven't. but i can't face it today.

the only good thing to have come out of this is my boyf is now actually motivated to get his sperm checked. seeing me be moderately cheerful, going to the bathroom, and coming back to just crumple on the sofa in tears has sent a loud message. he would have tried today but he had to be in the office at 8am.

i honestly am starting to question whether my inability to cope with this isn't a sign that i wouldn't be a fit mother.

 

[F.U.B.A.R.]

i honestly am starting to question whether my inability to cope with this isn't a sign that i wouldn't be a fit mother.

No, it's just a sign of how badly you want this. I'm sure you'll make a great mother chinup.

 

[cosmic charlie]

i have read similar things and hear similar things. i've heard processed food blamed. i've heard of soy blamed for this. water quality. i would say i agree with whoever said have the male partner checked also. and good luck Chinup.

Was listening to JRE the other day and they were talking about how plastics getting into our bodies have direct impact on male fertility. That the reduction we are seeing in sperm concentration can be linked to when we started eating out of plastic containers, using water bottles and the thousand other things we use plastic for. But it could also just be combination of things like processed food and soy in our diet. Either way it's a real problem and will probably get worse before it gets better. They also said that plastic is to blame for our shrinking taints... And that as our balls slide closer to our arse holes it is yet again another sign from the gods we done fucked up.

 

[cosmic charlie]

not really sure if this belongs in H&R.... might move to LAVA who knows.

basically, i am failing to get pregnant. i'm going to contact my dr, but the NHS is on its knees so i'm not sure i can expect much.

i've seen some services like Hertility that do at home kits so you give some blood then send it off. is it worth it?

i'm so convinced that long term amenorrhea has fucked my fertility, though part of me wonders if i actually have like 10 years worth of eggs that i would have released if i had have been getting my period. so in a way maybe i'd have more healthy eggs? it would be nice if i could have one good thing from long term anorexia.

also please no one tell me i shouldn't have kids. i've posted about this topic in another forum and someone told me that the world is so fucked i shouldn't bring a child into it. my recovery from both my ED and addiction requires me to have hope for the future.

Me and my ex tried for long time to have a baby and after the first miscarriage ended up at fertility clinic getting us both checked. We ended up doing artificial insemination and she still had a couple of miscarriage after that. It put alot of strain on us and between that and my drug addiction we ended up breaking up eventually. But she kept going to the clinic and eventually paid for IVF and used the sperm from a donor and now she has a cute little baby. Me and her are still the best of friends and I'm happy for her even tho it didn't work out with us in the end. Don't give up on the journey cuz eventually it will work out, it did cost alot of money. Think the IVF alone was close to twenty thousand dollars, but it worked when they selected the perfect egg and sperm.

 

[VerbalTruist]

the answer to the original question about whether a paid fertility service is almost certainly no if you have public healthcare.

anyway i came on because i've been in tears basically all day. getting my period this time has just crushed me, partly i think cos of meeting my cousin's baby and how perfect he was, and also i'd had a dream that i was pregnant. i don't put any stock in dreams but at this point i'll cling onto anything for hope.

i've been told my ultrasound was 'satisfactory' and nothing major showed on my blood tests. i still haven't had a positive ovulation test despite doing them every day this month again, until like the final week cos it seemed pointless- there had been a kinda peak but not enough for it to be a positive result, then it had gone back down to almost nothing so i figured that was that. its the third month i've done that, the timing of the 'almost' positive is all over the place, but the general pattern is the same. i'm still waiting on a gynae appointment, today is the day i'm supposed to call if i haven't heard, which i haven't. but i can't face it today.

the only good thing to have come out of this is my boyf is now actually motivated to get his sperm checked. seeing me be moderately cheerful, going to the bathroom, and coming back to just crumple on the sofa in tears has sent a loud message. he would have tried today but he had to be in the office at 8am.

i honestly am starting to question whether my inability to cope with this isn't a sign that i wouldn't be a fit mother.

I was pretty sure that I wouldn’t ever have kids. Regardless of how much I turned my life around. When my wife got pregnant I really didn’t believe it.


Then when the twins were born, I asked her if they were mine bc I really didn’t feel like I deserved something as perfect and beautiful as children. She got pretty mad at me for asking until I told her the whole storm going on in my mind.

Anyway, all evidence and people who have seen me with the kids… Everyone says I’m an amazing and attentive father.

What I’m saying is: It might take a while to get pregnant. You might feel like a shitty parent at times. However, it will very likely happen and when it does it’s going to be great. You’re gonna be great.

 

[nznity]

not really sure if this belongs in H&R.... might move to LAVA who knows.

basically, i am failing to get pregnant. i'm going to contact my dr, but the NHS is on its knees so i'm not sure i can expect much.

i've seen some services like Hertility that do at home kits so you give some blood then send it off. is it worth it?

i'm so convinced that long term amenorrhea has fucked my fertility, though part of me wonders if i actually have like 10 years worth of eggs that i would have released if i had have been getting my period. so in a way maybe i'd have more healthy eggs? it would be nice if i could have one good thing from long term anorexia.

also please no one tell me i shouldn't have kids. i've posted about this topic in another forum and someone told me that the world is so fucked i shouldn't bring a child into it. my recovery from both my ED and addiction requires me to have hope for the future.

Damn sis, that sucks. I'll have u on my thoughts tonite when I pray so u can finally get pregg
Good vibes dear, ik you'll do it

 

[Nurse Ratched]

I know you are really sad right now but I believe everything happens for a reason. You are still battling your alcohol intake and your ED so maybe a pregnancy would not have been the right thing atm. I mean had you become pregnant I am sure you would have quit drinking but you would have been forced to. Not your own free will decision.

When the time is right you will make a great Mom. I would concentrate on getting the alcohol under control and then focus on the pregnancy. Once you are free of the nightly drinking your body may settle down and the process become easier. If you become pregnant before your'e able to cut down on your drinking you may not be ready and the cravings will be strong. Then you will be stressed. And stress hormones in the mother are almost as dangerous as alcohol. You may resent HAVING to quit as opposed to wanting to quit.

You are young and it will happen. But the timing has to be right. You and your SO will make great parents.

 

[Jabberwocky]

thank you all for your replies.

i don't have it in me to reply individually right now, i'm a bit better today, still tearful but less so. i've been checking the NHS religiously to see whats up with my gynaecology appointment... they've moved me to infertility without explaining why. i guess its something to do with the testing they've done so far- i only got the results from the receptionist at my GP and she didn't seem sure about the blood bits.

my boyf spoke to his doc today and is being sent details about how to make an appointment to get his sperm checked.

@Nurse Ratched you're absolutely right re drinking and ED, i'm trying to use this as motivation to do better with them rather than triggers to let it get out more of control.