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Misc Happy NewYear with DXM

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XxTwilightDashxX

XxTwilightDashxX

Greenlighter
Joined
Dec 9, 2011
Messages
39
Location
Colorado Springs
So I got my favorite toy - and Its wound up and ready to play with. @ about 8pm or so - ill probly start the party, come up right around time for new Years - and drop another dose in time to feel the effects combine.

If all works - This isnt just for fun guys - 2010 was the best year of my life, 2011 was the WORST. I have had so many issues, suicidal thoughts - loses and shit this year. My greatest fault is when I get disapointed, part of my soul dies. I have worked to revive ME, myself for over 6 months using various methods. And it all comes down to this - I have mediated, and I have taken time to relax and let go of everything for this night - do I think it will make me better? or i will come out a GOD among men, maybe, or maybe not. The thing is - i don't care : what will happen will happen, and that is the only way it was ment to be. I plan to learn from what I find out. I will not isolate myself again, I will not ignore the world - I will be human, and I will retain my connection to life.

I have avoided most all human contact for too long because of everything that I see around me - and I cant do it anymore. The greatest love of my life isnt even in the same city as me anymore, and one way or another, I need to find out how to get her back in my arms. I will not end 2011 with fear, or anger; sadness, or regret - I will end 2011 with faith, courage, hope, strength, and the knowledge to do better. May god guide you by the hand, and illuminate the path of truth in 2012. All we need is love. And all love needs, is faith.

(BTW this is me sober, so please refrain from saying im drunk or already high :P)
 
Don't have overly high expectations of any single experience (that may have something to do with why you get disappointed). However, if you prepare properly, there's no reason why it might not "reboot" your psyche to some degree, after which you can use your experience as a platform on which you can build. Also, it sounds like you may need some degree of closure w/ regards to the person your referring to. You will not be able to readjust emotions related to a relationship from DXM alone (this I know from experience).

Regardless, I wish you the best, and hope you have a productive and meaningful, or at least positive, experience. Happy New Year :)
 
Thankyou very much for the reply. And closure is not my goal, nor is really any expectations. In fact my friend is the only living being that I hold dear to me anymore in this world, and will give my heart and soul to them if it means anything. When we as humans plan so hard on reaching a goal, to only fall short - we lose the emotions we hoped to gain, we lose the will to try again. I will do what I feel is best for me, and my mind. I have already had a very traumatizing experiance earlier today, one which had me on my knees begging god to forgive me. I will not do this trip, even at the last second decision, if anything feels wrong. I will be doing a combined dose of 1.5grams or more - and these are waters best left unstired if any doubt in my mind comes up ^_^
 
except I wont split up - I will stay with the group, and fight as a team. My sitter knows what I do, as do I - precautions are taken, because no1 can master a substance they were not born with in their veins.
 
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