Okay after that binge on saturday i have come to a few realizations. My brain simply can't take the abuse alcohol slings at it like it could when i was 21 and neither can my body. I feel edgy as fucked, depressed and on the edge of tears. My mood has been going up and down like a yo yo since i woke up sunday. I also came to the realization that i could have been easily killed coming home as i damn near fell out in front of a car on atleast 2 occasions. Only because i ran into a few people who knew me on the way home who where kind enough to drop me off at the house i might have very well have ended up in the ditch or worse.
I also need to stop nick this in the bud right now as it could get out of hand pretty easy. Im not one for self delusion and i have been a alcoholic since the age of 18 so i don't need to go back there again. Blackouts still have that nightmarish quality to them that they always had but thank fuck i didnt do anything this time that could get me in trouble.
Only time will tell if i make it or not. Hell i stayed sober before for years without a drop so why can't i do it now?
I also need to stop nick this in the bud right now as it could get out of hand pretty easy. Im not one for self delusion and i have been a alcoholic since the age of 18 so i don't need to go back there again. Blackouts still have that nightmarish quality to them that they always had but thank fuck i didnt do anything this time that could get me in trouble.
Only time will tell if i make it or not. Hell i stayed sober before for years without a drop so why can't i do it now?
