Hallucinogens Followed by Immediate Trauma

[Cloudburst]

4 days ago I had a powerful trip on DXM (4th plateau). 2 days later my beloved pet of 5 years had died. He was with me through the hardest years of my life. I was intensely attached to him. Every time I had thought about his death, the idea alone was like a punch to the gut - I knew I was not gonna take this easily. Yet after the trip was over and the afterglow had subsided, he died very suddenly almost immediately at that moment.

I would sob and weep hysterically over hamsters I had when they died after owning them for a few months, so when I got my first large pet (his name was Elvis) it was only expected that I would take it particularly hard. I shed a few tears out of respect, not hysterical sadness or anything of that nature. Otherwise I had already accepted he had departed as if it had occurred before his physical death (I'm speaking metaphorically here). I knew it was time for me to move on and appreciate the added reflection granted upon me following his death. My father never spent time with him but wept. My mother also was seldom around him and refused to be near the corpse, frequently crying in private. He was a family member. But it was almost as if a drape of serenity had surrounded me and I have already moved on. I must assert I loved him deeply.

Has anyone ever had similar experiences with traumatic experiences such as the death of a loved one following a trip, or perhaps contradictory ones at that? This phenomena in my eyes was not a coincidence and I can only wonder about its causes, reasons, and implications. Thoughts?

 

[Teotzlcoatl]

When my grandfather died it seems to bother everyone else than it did me.

As somebody who uses entheogens and experienced ego death... well it gives you a different perspective.

I missed my grandpa, I was very sad... but I knew something everyone else didn't (or atleast wasn't sure about)... I'd see him again... in hyperspace

 

[Visitor Q]

When my grandfather died it seems to bother everyone else than it did me.

As somebody who uses entheogens and experienced ego death... well it gives you a different perspective.

I missed my grandpa, I was very sad... but I knew something everyone else didn't (or atleast wasn't sure about)... I'd see him again... in hyperspace

Wow. Touching, Teo.

These are the kinds of posts that should be on here.

Sensible, honest, straight to the point, and related to the subject.

Please take a note of that. Good post.

 

[Teotzlcoatl]

Thanks.

I'm done playing around (except maybe with solistus).

I'll try to make more posts like the above.

I believe one of the greatest insights humanity can gain from entheogens is a different perspective on death.

I find entheogens "teach" this subject more than any other (if you get deep enough).

In fact... ego death through the use of entheogens is the ONLY THING that even comes close to being like actual death. A lot can be learned from it.

 

[Cloudburst]

Of course, studies show a strong connection between administration of psychedelic drugs to the terminally ill and relief of fear of death. What is being addressed in this topic is suggesting to me that psychedelic experiences do not only reduce the fear of death within oneself, but also of those close to them, and of death as a whole.

 

[any major dude]

MAPS has been doing some great work with using LSD and psilo(cyb)in for terminal cancer patients with "existential anxiety"

 

[greenmeanies]

four days after my first LSD trip I broke my femur in a bike accident. that was pretty traumatic.

a couple weeks afterward i got some flashbacks to the trip, and i thought i remembered "knowing" that something bad would happen to me. of course it's difficult to trust feeling you get during a trip because, well you're under the influence of a drug.

i can't imagine the divination powers that someone skilled in meditation could gain from a potent psychedelic like lsd.

 

[-neptune-]

This happened just this past Thanksgiving,

I was with my boyfriend had done a line of K and we had just gotten into his mustang to go to the store 5 mins away to pick out some movies to watch while all spaced out. he was driving and wasn't fucked up yet(but had eaten a couple pills of ecstasy) when we were going through an intersection and the other car ran a red light and we t-boned them and the other car spun around in a 360 through the intersection and the airbags went off which was one of themost terrifying-euphoric moments of my life.

the heat of the airbags, the sound from the crash, and we were also listening to Coil when it happened, AND I saw us go into the accident which was supper scary. The cars stopped, we had to crawl out of the car because the doors wouldn't open all the way, and insurance companies and police we called. Luckily no one was injured, but both the cars were totaled and it was deamed no fault. By the time we were done with it all, my bf had begun to come up on the E he ate earlier.

After we had to talk to police and tow-people we went home and I finished a rest of a gram of K that night and ate some ecstasy, although about 10 hours later after I came down I started sobbing pretty heavily after realizing that I had almost just died from looking at pictures of the rubble and remembering the impact from the airabags and all.

all in all it was good though. doing drugs immediately after allowed me to put the trauma on mute/pause for a while and let me gain some perspective on the accident. I"m still a little paranoid about being in cars though still now.

 

[solistus]

I certainly agree that psychedelics and particularly ego death are a valuable insight in rethinking one's own relationship to mortality. It grants real weight to an idea that sounds to many like a shallow comfort - that your ego isn't there to be sad or worried or negative about your death. I don't know how I feel about the idea that there is experience after death similar to psychedelic experience, but it's not the sort of thing anyone can be sure about.

On a more broad note, as a student of psychoanalysis I am fascinated by the connection between psychedelics and trauma. Psychoanalysis has much to say about how traumatic memories are important parts of unconscious neuroses and the like, and psychedelics, in my opinion, seem to be one of the most effective tools alongside the interpretation of dreams at gleaning insights into repressed unconscious content. One important lesson that psychoanalysis teaches that most thoughtful psychedelic users seem to reach independently is that, contrary to the widespread opinion among most people in modern society, there are some issues and problems that cannot properly be addressed by sheer force of will on the conscious mind's part; the unconscious, that part of our own mind and memories we are not in active control over, is an integral part of that. The reasons I see myself and many people I know use psychedelics for purposes beyond solely entertainment are quite similar to the reasons one would undergo analysis. For the same reasons, I look forward to the day when psychoanalysis and psychotherapy can once again openly research the potential of psychedelic-aided analysis and therapy sessions.

 

[Eldaren]

Our family dog died about 6 months ago now... we had him since he was a puppy and when he died he'd just tipped over the 18 year mark. I'd come to terms with his death probably 4 or 5 years before that, because it's obviously inevitable and needs to be put into the right perspective. I always loved him, I'll always remember him but I don't see any reason to weep hysterically over his departure. That just seems... I don't know, silly? If he had died suddenly or unnaturally I wouldn't have felt this way, but he had a great run. Everyone's gotta go sometime. He was people as far as I'm concerned. He actually died about a month after I came back home after living away and getting fired etc. and I had had some avid discussions with my dog recently about my concerns for my own future (I talked to him a lot, especially tripping) but still, the attachment never resulted in a hint of hysteria. Honestly I didn't think I would take it as well as I did.