Hallucinations persisting when using Cannabis after large LSD dose

[daranga]

I have only used LSD five times, once two drops (Strong liquid form all three times), the second three drops, the third was nine - which I know was a very very stupid thing to do, during this trip I took a large amount of 10mg Valium and passed out for 36+ hours, not sure if this saved me or if the damage was still done. After that 'trip' I was determined to have a intense trip and try and "solve myself" and and took five more drops and realised many negative parts of my personality. I have been taking LSD ever since I was diagnosed with Bi Polar depression to try and cure myself.

After the 4th LSD trip I felt an overwhelming anxiety in social situations, a feeling of hollowness and having no worth. I have slowly lost a lot of friends and prefer to be on my own, thinking about the how the world is. I understood that the LSD and heavy cannabis use in my past may have given me Adrenal Fatigue or something along those lines, so I got a job in a Kitchen (long hours, a lot of exercise, constant social interaction) I have eaten incredibly healthy and have been learning instruments, Italian and listening to Jazz. I did this for 6 months and felt not change, still throbbing walls, movements in the shadows and a lot of struggle sleeping, the depression when I was not busy was constantly driving me to suicide - but I've always been very sure that's not a cure.

I then decided to go to a music festival, continue with my previous behavior with taking a lot of MDMA and cannabis. I also took on small dose of Acid and 2cB one night. After the festival I smoked cannabis every night until today, and whenever I smoke I see the same acid hallucinations that I did when I first tripped.The best way I can describe it is a closed eye hallucination on a Mexican gothic crest of a Lion. I'm a head strong person, and so far have been able to laugh at the trips and enjoy them on my own, but soon I plan to move in with friends and don't know how to act when smoking pot around other people when normally I sit bug eyed staring at a wall.

Does anyone else have any similar experiences? did the trips stop? Should I keep up my routine of exercise, forced social interaction (I have to force myself) and a good diet? I love taking psychedelic as they bring out a side of me which I wish I was more in touch with. Which I'm sure I will find. I just dont want to go so far that I forget who I am.



a side note, an older friend who took an extortionate amount of LSD and other homemade untested psychedelic drugs back in the 70s thinks that I have started a journey to finding myself and that I should continue taking more to find my cosmic self and evolve. I've always looked at psychedelics as recreational fun, but very interesting for him to say so/

 

[Bob Loblaw]

~~~>PeaDee

 

[Clocktower]

As far as I know there's no evidence to suggest that LSD can "cure" bipolar disorder or depression, so I wouldn't try to use it as such.

Seems like you've been experiencing some problems following heavy polydrug use. Stop taking drugs for a while, you will probably feel better after a bit of rest.

 

[ParappaTheRapper]

I'm only responding to the title. but yes. Drugs program your visual perception. and pot experience can be conditioned, because it is a stimulii arousing state.

I used to have very severe hppd. To the point that defocusing my eyes would change peoples faces. buuuutttttt. I don't have this anymore. My visual experience is always "trippy" and dynamic, but doesn't digress from a main perception.

Stop tripping a lot. Or smoke less. there's a lot of tips for hppd. like vitamins and stufffs, but, things like opiates or benzos also work.

There is a large and fancy thread on hppd where I was talking about like aliens and magic, but one of the points I brought up was based on something I read that acid damages or atleast alters inhibiton filters in visual memory/imagination/etc. I don't kno where I read.this or said this for sure, but id say the state is actually very natural, analogous to a toddler pooping or a drunk woman driving. Id bet finding this structure in the brain could reverse hppd, o even increase it the opposite way etc, but I am not a scientist. cheers

 

[EddieJessup]

I took a lot of LSD in my late teens (weekly for a couple of years). HPPD was pronounced for a few years.
20 years on there is still a bit of sparkle and woosh there, when I smoke strong sativas.

Definitely would be better to moderate your drug use,
MDMA seems an easy alternative but it causes more emotional problems (way worse for mental stability, if you are Bi-polar).

 

[Visuals]

Your friend is right, you have started a journey so to speak. But taking more in excess is not the answer. As an enthusiastic psychonaut and one with a history of MDD and anxiety and much experience with psychedelics, I can only say, for the love of yourself, abstain from indulgence. Psychedelics are a learning experience. An incredibly rewarding experience, but not one without consequences. I feel it's important to realise the power of this class of drugs and learn to revere and respect. Not for everyone, but for me personally I feel that to truly learn from my experiences on psych's, sobriety is key. Take what you've learnt and give your mind time to comprehend it. I feel that I've been through almost everything you've described. Right down to taking lsd to aid my mental illnesses. But I saw in me, and in others around me who were tripping every week, that while it makes you feel a lot better while you're doing it, in the long run, months down the track you will feel the sting. A phenomena I've noticed in many people I know, including myself, who've used a lot of psychedelics and suffer from mental illness, is that when you open your mind to so much incredible and visionary information in a close period of time, it can sort of shock your mind. New ways of thinking, perceptions of the world altered. Too much to comprehend at once, if you know what I mean. You have so much more to think about now, but you're still depressed at the same time. Having so much on your mind is detrimental to recovery when clarity and control of your thoughts is key. Becoming more of a loner to be with your thoughts, staring at walls, intense hppd... I've been there before for a long time and the overuse of pysch's wont help. I had a huge psychedelic phase at the beginning of the year and I am only just getting over, and coming to terms with what I've learnt and it's changed me immensely. My mental illnesses spiralled out of control and my outlook on life was going down the shitter. I stopped socialising and always wanted to be away from people to think about trippy thoughts or stare at the flickering geometry behind my eyes. I had to quit university and just basically fell into the biggest whole ever. That's when I realised I was damaging myself, and that if I didn't stop I would do irreparable harm. Since then, my depression and anxiety has improved by tenfold and I feel I've become a much better person, and it would never have happened had I kept tripping so often. Being able to take what I've experienced on drugs, and through means of sobriety and clarity of thought been able to comprehend and learn a great deal from it. So yes, I think psychedelics can improve mental health. The improvement comes from wisdom, and that doesn't come from simply taking more. All wisdom is learnt, and all learning is timely.

Honestly, everyone's different, and by no means does what I've learnt apply to anyone else. But this is just my honest experience because I only wish you the best. As for persisting visuals, they most likely will go away, given time. Smoke less weed, trip less often and when you find yourself sitting bug eyed staring at a wall, try your best to ignore it. The more you dwell on it, the more often and easier they will appear. Fresh memories always come to mind quicker.

If you do continue psychedelic therapy for your bi-polar/depression, maybe source some mushrooms or mescaline instead of lsd? More pure, imo But always remember the importance in not abusing these venerable gifts of earth.

☮