Harambulus
Greenlighter
Note: As a primer I wrote this as I woke this morning and must have still been feeling a bit blue cos i have now taken 2g's of l tyrosine and no longer feel so melancholic about the situation.
Oh to note for the record- 250mg of crystal MDMA was ingested during through the course of the report.
I used to be rather intimidated by the satanic sounding cacaphony of the relentless distorted bass of gabber techno.
In more recent years it has become an acquired taste for me such that I have found it rather enticing although up until this night I'd only once before really got down to it and that was several years ago.
I'm sure it's rather an oxymoron to think of gabber as anything BUT decadent fun lol! as it's only purpose is to stomp like a mutha fucker while your wrecked with a likeminded headbangers.
Due to my previous apprehensions of the music I would hear it at parties and perhaps be a little enticed by it but otherwise shy away from it due to its 'hard' edge.
This time though I was at a happy hardcore rave and the hardcore seemed to pale in comparison to the stomping techno.
I found it such an amazing feeling just rhythmically 'pounding it out' like a techno zombie with all the others. I would either go right up to the speaker and stare into it as if to pay homage to the 'musical' gifts it was offering, lol; or I'd turn around and rejoice watching all my other techno zombies completely in the moment also reveling in the monotone tekno chant.
To make note I was gloriously pleased to find, after my first time using earplugs, that having been right next to the speaker for most of the night, when I took the earplugs out when I left the premises my ears were in beautiful pristine condition with not a HINT of ringing.
Anyhow I think my point is that the experience was fucking awesome at the time but after the fact I still felt a bit empty after. I think this is because I went on my own and rather than chatting to people I just danced like a mofo all night to the end.
Sometimes it feels like effort to chat people even when on mdma and there is always that feeling that the connection you make is just a result of the drugs and will thus be negated and/or regretted the next day.
I felt kind of envious that others had all their crews with them including hot flourescently dressed chavvy (I don't know what the US/other countries equivalent of a chav is haha, but hot raver girls) girls also banging it out to the techno (I find that SOOO sexy to see a hot girl stomping to techno rather than some crappy rnb bullshit
.
Anyway I by no means go to these things on a regular I'm just saying enjoying it with a cohesive group would have probably diminished the slightly empty feeling I felt after it.
I suppose this is no different to going to anything else alone as any social thing is better enjoyed with friends.
It has always been rather a habit of mine to go on 'solo jaunts' to random places, be it rave events or any other places but I think the techno festivities would better be enjoyed with company in future.
I go out to pull alone but that is better imo cos getting a girl it's no prob if you're alone as um you;re not alone then once you're with a girl, but I find raves not very conducive to pulling.
I did chat to a couple of people and of course everyone was off it and open to chat but I think in future it would be more fulfilling to bring my own crew including hot girls in tow to one of these things cos I felt like I was missing out somewhat in that sense.
I mean I know everyone is open and friendly but there is that sense you know they are only so because of the drugs and that you aren't really making a genuine connection with the other person. I certainly have made genuine connections with people in the past at these places but it is something that I'd have to make an effort to do and not what I'd necessarily wanna go there specifically for. I think in future ideally I will just go with other people who are already friends and just go for the music.
I am not on this scene at all really now anyway but I do think it would be cool to go again with a group of good friends.
I always go out 'on the pull' (to general 'meat market' clubs) but I find it kind of awkward at raves as rather than at your usual meat market types places it's harder to tell which girls are just fucked and chatting cos they are high and which ones are into you...anyone else found this or found a solution to discern one from the other?
I bought a batch of mdma not just to get fucked up on but rather to try and go pulling on it to see how it affects my 'heart chakra' (excuse the spiritual wo woo, or just say to see how it affects my performance while more emotionally open) and so going to this rave, although fun, I felt I didn't learn many lessons from it which is my main intent when taking drugs.
I suppose me saying I didn't get anything out of headbanging to gabber all night is like complaining about the low quality of the food at macdonalds.
Actually to sum up the reason I didn't really get anything social form it now I think of it is cos I didn't try. I just spent the whole night dancing, occasionally stopping to sit down, so I suppose you get out what you put in.
Oh to note for the record- 250mg of crystal MDMA was ingested during through the course of the report.
I used to be rather intimidated by the satanic sounding cacaphony of the relentless distorted bass of gabber techno.
In more recent years it has become an acquired taste for me such that I have found it rather enticing although up until this night I'd only once before really got down to it and that was several years ago.
I'm sure it's rather an oxymoron to think of gabber as anything BUT decadent fun lol! as it's only purpose is to stomp like a mutha fucker while your wrecked with a likeminded headbangers.
Due to my previous apprehensions of the music I would hear it at parties and perhaps be a little enticed by it but otherwise shy away from it due to its 'hard' edge.
This time though I was at a happy hardcore rave and the hardcore seemed to pale in comparison to the stomping techno.
I found it such an amazing feeling just rhythmically 'pounding it out' like a techno zombie with all the others. I would either go right up to the speaker and stare into it as if to pay homage to the 'musical' gifts it was offering, lol; or I'd turn around and rejoice watching all my other techno zombies completely in the moment also reveling in the monotone tekno chant.
To make note I was gloriously pleased to find, after my first time using earplugs, that having been right next to the speaker for most of the night, when I took the earplugs out when I left the premises my ears were in beautiful pristine condition with not a HINT of ringing.
Anyhow I think my point is that the experience was fucking awesome at the time but after the fact I still felt a bit empty after. I think this is because I went on my own and rather than chatting to people I just danced like a mofo all night to the end.
Sometimes it feels like effort to chat people even when on mdma and there is always that feeling that the connection you make is just a result of the drugs and will thus be negated and/or regretted the next day.
I felt kind of envious that others had all their crews with them including hot flourescently dressed chavvy (I don't know what the US/other countries equivalent of a chav is haha, but hot raver girls) girls also banging it out to the techno (I find that SOOO sexy to see a hot girl stomping to techno rather than some crappy rnb bullshit
. Anyway I by no means go to these things on a regular I'm just saying enjoying it with a cohesive group would have probably diminished the slightly empty feeling I felt after it.
I suppose this is no different to going to anything else alone as any social thing is better enjoyed with friends.
It has always been rather a habit of mine to go on 'solo jaunts' to random places, be it rave events or any other places but I think the techno festivities would better be enjoyed with company in future.
I go out to pull alone but that is better imo cos getting a girl it's no prob if you're alone as um you;re not alone then once you're with a girl, but I find raves not very conducive to pulling.
I did chat to a couple of people and of course everyone was off it and open to chat but I think in future it would be more fulfilling to bring my own crew including hot girls in tow to one of these things cos I felt like I was missing out somewhat in that sense.
I mean I know everyone is open and friendly but there is that sense you know they are only so because of the drugs and that you aren't really making a genuine connection with the other person. I certainly have made genuine connections with people in the past at these places but it is something that I'd have to make an effort to do and not what I'd necessarily wanna go there specifically for. I think in future ideally I will just go with other people who are already friends and just go for the music.
I am not on this scene at all really now anyway but I do think it would be cool to go again with a group of good friends.
I always go out 'on the pull' (to general 'meat market' clubs) but I find it kind of awkward at raves as rather than at your usual meat market types places it's harder to tell which girls are just fucked and chatting cos they are high and which ones are into you...anyone else found this or found a solution to discern one from the other
? I bought a batch of mdma not just to get fucked up on but rather to try and go pulling on it to see how it affects my 'heart chakra' (excuse the spiritual wo woo, or just say to see how it affects my performance while more emotionally open) and so going to this rave, although fun, I felt I didn't learn many lessons from it which is my main intent when taking drugs.
I suppose me saying I didn't get anything out of headbanging to gabber all night is like complaining about the low quality of the food at macdonalds
. Actually to sum up the reason I didn't really get anything social form it now I think of it is cos I didn't try
. I just spent the whole night dancing, occasionally stopping to sit down, so I suppose you get out what you put in.
