I keep hearing withdrawal gets worse every time but, I have been keeping my dose constant lately. I went 14 hours without dosing yesterday and I am doing the same thing today. The main reason is that I really don't want to run out cold turkey again, and also I'd like to get rid of the compulsive aspect of my use which is unrelated to how sick I am. So, I like to dose heavy but less frequently and it's much more satisfying that way and I also feel like it creates less of a dependency than if I fiend every 2 or 3 hours... if I wait at least 12, I think that will be great for controlling my dependency and keeping my dose down. Since, when I do this and keep the overall daily dose the same, I get really high and my highs last longer, and I spend a lot of time sick that I have to learn to deal with. I also feel like my tolerance drops due to the good and solid time spent sick. I feel like it's not as bad anymore as it was at first, when I had been dosing compulsively every 2 or 3 hours for 6 months. Now that I've gone through several 12 to 18 hour periods willingly, and CT unwillingly, it's not so bad to get through. That being said, I'm laying in bed for the remainder of the 8 hours I have to go. The time will fly by and fuck will it feel nice to get some relief!
Then I get to add oxy to the mix soon and I'm going to use it in a way to boost my H up and use less H, not abuse the oxy itself since it's childproofed and all that.
Overall, if I can make it these stretches of time without opiates I am making progress. Maybe, this will become easy in a few weeks and I won't even think about it until it is time to dose. That would be wonderful and it's what I experienced last year after a while of tapering oxy. I am all for creating a schedule, sticking to it, only allowing myself to dose at certain times of the day - and if I need a break, still waiting until that time to dose, and just dose a little higher. It's really important for me to wait until I am good and sick, and eventually this will pass. That is when I know it will be time to lower my dose or change the frequency to even longer durations of time between using. Problems occur when I am disturbed by things that I have to do, but can't do without using. And I quickly succumb to compulsive redosing if I don't stick to my journal.
I think a huge problem is when my tolerance will get much lower than it is now. If I started dosing compulsively again or some shit, I could die. I'll probably switch to solely oxy at that point but I mean, the Heroin is with me forever. I love it way too much, I can't really see my life without it. I just want to keep it under control (for now, I have no true desire to quit, just get it under control before I start shooting up... I've already shot up once and tried twice more but missed/couldn't hit. I don't want to get into that or do it ever again.) I just feel like if I started shooting it, I would pretty quickly die and that scares me out of doing it. I was an idiot to do it that one time but that is getting to be a long while ago. I'm a sniffer at heart.
Also, this circumvents issues like constipation because closer to dosing time when I'm good and sick I will empty my bowels. Really important for the health of an "opiate problem user, or substance use disorder". I hate the word addict. So, I am all for infrequent dosing because then it isn't on your mind all the time, preoccupying your day, and you get to reward yourself with a solid hit as opposed to breaking up the hits. I get the most out of my H this way too, because I enjoy it too. I can really just lay back and put on some tunes, time 15 minutes on my phone (so I know when I should have peak effect starting) and then have a wonderful few hours and it is SO worth the suffering, which will eventually subside, I need to be patient! I've been using at a fucking insane rate for 5 years I can't expect to fix myself overnight. I believe that frequency of use is a factor in withdrawal severity regardless of dose. If you are doing mines every 2 hours you are going to have worse withdrawals in my opinion even if your dose isn't that much higher or even the same. This is just a theory I have by the way because I really believe sick time lowers my tolerance and I'm never really all that sick if I don't wait patiently for my fix. No heroin high is going to last 14 hours for me at this point, at the doses I take. If I really take this seriously, I won't even think of doing H for 6 to 8 hours and can easily last 12. I just have to get used to this new way of using, which is obviously beneficial, at least to me. It really helps me come to terms with the cravings and overcome them.
I have two 8mg subs I got from a friend. I am not educated enough about suboxone to blindly take it but my friend gave me a taper plan. I'm not sure if I will need it... I'm doing pretty well. Being able to wait 14 hours when you have dope on hand, is great in my opinion. And it is fucking tough not to give in. Maybe when my dose gets much lower, I switch to oxy and oral use over sniffing, and then I can do it then instead of CT.