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Guys - do you find it a turn off when girls are catty?

supertrav77 said:
I brought it up because usually those two groups are actually the same people.
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Ugh, well i strongly disagree. In some cases but not all cases.

Bitches come in all forms.
 
zephyr said:
Apologies if anything Ive contributed to this tangent the thread has gone in has caused offense. None intended at all- but Ill send you a pm or catch you on msn DFRS to stay on topic here <3
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Oh no hun i am not offended, i just felt it's time i spoke up about my experiences and all that now considering i started the thread originally. I am not having a go at anyone, but i just felt i would say my thoughts considering i am one of those girls that has a lot of male friends. But i am not like the type of chicks that have been described here.

I think i am sick of this thread now, things are just being recycled.
 
In my experience catty-ness is an offshoot of insecurity. I'd say that violence in men is what you'd find on the other side of the gender coin. When women feel threatened they go for the self esteem, it's relational hostility. When guy's feel threatened they go for the jugular, literally.

It's a primitive response due to their inability to properly channel anxiety or fear. It's easy to attack someone else, it's a lot harder to face and resolve the issues in your own mind.

But we're only human, and as humans we're all prone to jealousy. The more we value something the more we're going to hold on, no matter what the cost. Sometimes we pay that price in harsh words, other times it's with a flurry of fists to the face. The catty-er someone is the greater the threat they perceive.

It's human nature.
 
drugfukkdrockstar said:
Dude, considering you're the type of guy who would go for a chick purely on the fact that she is the most blonde and the most thin makes me question your judge of character.
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Listen here, sister. Just because your genetic make-up has permanently precluded you from ever beig a romantic partner of mine is no reason for you to get snippy!

But i have also been told that i come across extremely confident and that tends to possibly make people think i am arrogant, and that i think i am better than everyone else.
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Confident? Confident how?
Like if you were all to bust out a game of Trivial Pursuit and the question came up, oh, lets say "In the movie Dr. No, James Bond was told that from now on he would only be allowed to use a Walther PPK handgun and he would have to turn in his old handgun. What was the gun he turned in?" do you mean you are confident you would know the answer?
Or if one of your male friends started choking on their vegemite sandwhich, you are confident that you would be able to perform the Heimlich Maneuver on them and save their life?
I have a sneaking suspicion that you are using "confident" as a code form something else.
So please elaborate. Confident how? Be specific.

But that's who i am and im not gonna change it for the sake of getting along with a few insecure girls.
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Forget what I said about being a poor judge of character. Poor people skills is definitely your problem.
Did the Greeks "change who they were" when they disguised themselves as a collosal fucking wooden horse? Were they compromising their integrity? No. They were just making life easier for themselves by temporarily making thmselves appear more appealing.
In my most natural state, I'm a pretty abrasive fellow. But if it suits my purpose, I can become the personification of charm. Honestly, I don't think there's a person in the world I would find impossible to get along with if I set my mind to it. "Sure, I enjoyed Forest Gump as well!" "Tool? I'm not the biggest fan but they have some good songs I guess." "I've been meaning to get back into watching Survivor again but who has the time?"

These next to make me chuckle...
If males respond better to my personality then so be it.
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If a guy thinks you're cool, they'll talk to ya. If they don't like you, they will just ignore you
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DFRS, I'm trying to be real with and here you are playing dumb. And I say playing dumb because the alternative is that you are extremely naive which I simply do not buy.
Do you REALLY believe that the guys you are meeting for the first time are responding to your personality? Not saying that you have a bad one but surely you'll concede that you have some, err... "natural qualities" that might make men more apt to want to engage you intellectually. Qualities that might be of less importance to women?
I'm trying to be real with you DFRS and you're pulling my leg here...
 
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supertrav77 said:
Listen here, sister. Just because your genetic make-up has permanently precluded you from ever beig a romantic partner of mine is no reason for you to get snippy!
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Try and be mature about this. I didn't bring that up because i am snippy. I brought it up because that is something about you that indeed makes me question your judgment, considering you have questioned mine. Whether i am attractive to you is not something i have ever, nor will ever will give a shit about. Just to clear that up.


supertrav77 said:
DFRS, I'm trying to be real with and here you are playing dumb. And I say playing dumb because the alternative is that you are extremely naive which I simply do not buy.
Do you REALLY believe that the guys you are meeting for the first time are responding to your personality? Not saying that you have a bad one but surely you'll concede that you have some, err... "natural qualities" that might make men more apt to want to engage you intellectually. Qualities that might be of less importance to women?
I'm trying to be real with you DFRS and you're pulling my leg here...
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Yeah because guys crack onto me all the time when my boyfriend is right by my side 8) . My boyfriend doesn't look like the type of guy that people want to mess with i will have you know. You don't know what the night involved, what conversations were had. You make a lot of generalizations over things you really don't know a lot about. I understand you are entitled to your opinion, but i am sorry but in this case you are wrong. But that doesn't surprise me because your general attitude towards a lot of things as far as relationships and people etc go i don't generally agree with because they are just too black and white. You need to understand things aren't as cliche as you like to think.

I can see where this is going to go and quite frankly i don't need to justify myself to you. I have said my bit - take it or leave it. You can try and pick at everything i am saying and laugh at it all you like, but from what i have gathered from your posts and the type of person you claim to be, we wouldn't even associate with each other in the real world so this argument really is a waste of time. You and i are different people, we have different views on everything. We always have and we always will. If you think i am naive, or stupid and a evil catty bitch like every other girl who has male friends, then whatever dude. Investing energy into trying to prove you wrong is not on my list of things to do today.
 
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drugfukkdrockstar said:
Oh no hun i am not offended, i just felt it's time i spoke up about my experiences and all that now considering i started the thread originally. I am not having a go at anyone, but i just felt i would say my thoughts considering i am one of those girls that has a lot of male friends. But i am not like the type of chicks that have been described here.

I think i am sick of this thread now, things are just being recycled.
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Have a think about the group of girls you find yourself socialising with. Are they all really good friends with each other- really- or are some of them regular social aquaintances because they are the partners of some of the guys in the group?

A lot of the catty behaviour happens between chicks who are social together through being "friends of friends"- but they really dont like each other.

Guys sometimes make the mistake of assuming that because all their mates get along, that all their girlfriends will too- it doesn't happen that way all the time unfortunately.

Its the adult thing to air personal differences between girls face to face, in private, to sort it out and get along well for the sake of the group, but girls tend to bitch about each other behind their backs, and pretend butter wouldn't melt in their mouth in public.

Silly, but thats what happens. Guys do the same thing too though.
 
^ Your post is so sooo true. I think you hit the nail on the head! That has made me have a think, and makes a lot of sense of my experiences.

I feel it definitely is a lot more common between women than men though. Guys seem to tolerate each other better than women are prepared to tolerate each other.
 
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Its the adult thing to air personal differences between girls face to face, in private, to sort it out and get along well for the sake of the group, but girls tend to bitch about each other behind their backs, and pretend butter wouldn't melt in their mouth in public.
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Me and my friends have an expression, 'to pull some girl shit'. An example of pulling some girl shit would be like you're going to a party, you run into an old friend of yours, and you find out her boyfriend is some guy that you absolutely hate. But you smile and say hey and how ya doin like you really care. And then turn to your other friend and say how much you hate that dude. That's girl shit, and guys use ittoo, for special occasoins.

Otherwise it's like "yea i remember you." and shifting your eyes around the person. More of a blatant show of dislike. Guy shit.
 
Yes. You are the only one. You can't possibly like everyone you meet, it's human nature not to connect with everyone or even to dislike people sometimes.
 
bromance said:
This is VERY true in my experience.



And no, cattiness is definitely NOT a turn on. Drama and bullshit are what ruin relationships, and even though girls love to say stuff like, "I'm so down to earth, I hate drama" it usually isn't the truth. Finding truly down-to-earth, easygoing chicks is harder than it seems. Same goes for guys too.
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Definatly, most who say they hate drama are ALWAYS right in the middle of it or making a big fucking spectacle out of themselves............
 
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