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Advice Guy I've been dating for a while &him needing space - male+female opinions please

I have to say, I have always done the No Contact Rule, as it was something that my mother instilled in me. She told me that nice girls don’t call guys, they let the guys call them.

I have been successful in my dating life for the most part. I just married someone that was the result of lots of Coke, money and fun, then he turned out to be an asshole.

But I subscribe to the rules for the most part. If my guy were to say he needs space, I’d give it to him. To me, that means no texting him to see if he’s OK, or reaching out to let him know I’m there for him. Space is what he wants, give him silence.

If someone wants space, let them have it and you work on doing things that restore your confidence, such as going to the salon, buying some new jeans you look great in, or just taking time for yourself, like taking great bubble baths with candles lit. But I would absolutely not reach out to him. He has your digits and knows how to reach you when/if he no longer needs space.

The dating app during a brief break and the fact that he’s active on social media while he ignores you is a sign that he doesn’t need space from everyone. I would absolutely do my best to assume that he is not interested at the moment, unfortunately. I’m sorry to be harsh. I think you may need to consider moving on.
 
Fiori di Bella said:
I have to say, I have always done the No Contact Rule, as it was something that my mother instilled in me. She told me that nice girls don’t call guys, they let the guys call them.

I have been successful in my dating life for the most part. I just married someone that was the result of lots of Coke, money and fun, then he turned out to be an asshole.

But I subscribe to the rules for the most part. If my guy were to say he needs space, I’d give it to him. To me, that means no texting him to see if he’s OK, or reaching out to let him know I’m there for him. Space is what he wants, give him silence.

If someone wants space, let them have it and you work on doing things that restore your confidence, such as going to the salon, buying some new jeans you look great in, or just taking time for yourself, like taking great bubble baths with candles lit. But I would absolutely not reach out to him. He has your digits and knows how to reach you when/if he no longer needs space.

The dating app during a brief break and the fact that he’s active on social media while he ignores you is a sign that he doesn’t need space from everyone. I would absolutely do my best to assume that he is not interested at the moment, unfortunately. I’m sorry to be harsh. I think you may need to consider moving on.
Click to expand...
Thank you, I feel like you're all right. I do need to start thinking about moving on... My head knows I should x
 
Well....it's a game kind of.
I know emotions are difficult to relate.
But I would do false takeaways that are just kind of open ended statements.
I'm done. we're through.
It's over. We need to take a break.
I'm out. Have a nice life.
Things like that. It might draw him back in knowing you're leaving.

Also, it's a good idea to have other options. Not saying whore yourself out. But if you're in a grocery store or something and there's a guy. Maybe toss your hair, cough, something. he may walk up to you ask how you're doing. or maybe he has a shopping list and he needs some help. lol

If it's a marriage kind of deal you want with you not so current guy, and he doesn't put up rocks and rings stuff like that. Maybe it's just not true love.
 
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When I get bouts of ptsd madness and even tapering I ignore the world. I still go online sometimes but sometimes not.
He could be stringing you along, he could have met someone else who he has feelings for.
No way to tell. I would just move on and if he gets in touch with a good reason then think about it.
If you allow someone to treat you like you don't exist they will continue to treat you poorly.
My last serious relationship was a couple years ago and I let him talk down to me, physically and mentally abusive because I just lost my dad and was alone clinging to someone. Glad that ended. Took me years to see any value in myself. Don't do that.
 
Is it you I want, or just the notion of, a heart to wrap around so I can find my way around. -Breaking Benjamin

But one big rule is not to be a jealous ex gf.



It should always feel like you just broke up. Trust and comfort on those terms. It makes a good relationship to be comfortable to laugh it off.
 
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ions said:
Well....it's a game kind of.
I know emotions are difficult to relate.
But I would do false takeaways that are just kind of open ended statements.
I'm done. we're through.
It's over. We need to take a break.
I'm out. Have a nice life.
Things like that. It might draw him back in knowing you're leaving.

Also, it's a good idea to have other options. Not saying whore yourself out. But if you're in a grocery store or something and there's a guy. Maybe toss your hair, cough, something. he may walk up to you ask how you're doing. or maybe he has a shopping list and he needs some help. lol

If it's a marriage kind of deal you want with you not so current guy, and he doesn't put up rocks and rings stuff like that. Maybe it's just not true love.
Click to expand...
This whole concept of playing this dating game is just ridiculous, why can't people just be upfront and genuine, but yeah I see where you're getting at. Radio silence from me from here on out
 
Jennn said:
When I get bouts of ptsd madness and even tapering I ignore the world. I still go online sometimes but sometimes not.
He could be stringing you along, he could have met someone else who he has feelings for.
No way to tell. I would just move on and if he gets in touch with a good reason then think about it.
If you allow someone to treat you like you don't exist they will continue to treat you poorly.
My last serious relationship was a couple years ago and I let him talk down to me, physically and mentally abusive because I just lost my dad and was alone clinging to someone. Glad that ended. Took me years to see any value in myself. Don't do that.
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I get the same when I'm burnt out and I need to recharge, but near enough a month is a long old time. I'd go maybe a week max? Suppose everyone's different though. I do feel like he may be stringing me along, but another part of me thinks he might really just need the space, though again, a month is a long time. Yeah, I think I need to learn when to call it quits...
 
Give her the gift of losing you. Absence makes the heart grow fonder.
I think it works on guys too.
I got fed up relying on friends to introduce me to girls sometime after college. Friend of a friend kind of deal.
So thats when I read up on the cold approach. Or how to pick up girls.
Women of beauty are rarely found alone. Although that has also changed slightly.
It's the art of atttraction. and attraction is not a choice.
I'm done. :)
 
ions said:
Give her the gift of losing you. Absence makes the heart grow fonder.
I think it works on guys too.
I got fed up relying on friends to introduce me to girls sometime after college. Friend of a friend kind of deal.
So thats when I read up on the cold approach. Or how to pick up girls.
Women of beauty are rarely found alone. Although that has also changed slightly.
It's the art of atttraction. and attraction is not a choice.
I'm done. :)
Click to expand...
Haha, it's a him, but yeah I suppose I could do that. I mean, he still has me on socials so maybe he really does need the space or whatever and I should play the game, be hard to get?
 
Well.
Yes.
There was a female I was really into. And all she was was dismissive. saying, I'm not interested. I'm not attracted. And that just made me like her more.
She had me thrown in jail. On harassment charges.
I think she lied to police. and that's a serious charge also.
I still think about her daily. and that was over a decade ago. It's called one-itis.
So maybe she moved on from my intent. Either way. You at least get to share a moment with her people.
Maybe she had a plan subconscious.
Because we tend to pleasure and away from pain.
 
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