• ✍️ WORDS ✍️

    Welcome Guest!

  • Words Moderators: Shambles

Green Bottle Shards

-|Twiztd|-

Bluelighter
Joined
Mar 25, 2004
Messages
636
Location
Ocala, FL:
Green bottle shards, broken and spent,
Blotched sin drifting, seeking new prey.
Dry glass scabs, scraping the pavement.

Emotional refrain with psychotic bent.
Too rigid, too dry -- like hardened clay,
Green bottle shards, broken and spent.

Weak limbs tremble, without willful consent.
Voices murmur, I can't hear what they say,
Dry glass scabs, scraping the pavement.

Years like brown leaves in rapid descent.
The light grows dimmer each passing day,
Green bottle shards, broken and spent.

Night Train sacrifices in brown paper tent,
Take me back along the forgotten railway.
Dry glass scabs, scraping the pavement.

Original sin crazy, but without true lament,
I can park in the grapes, I need no valet.
Green bottle shards, broken and spent,
Dry glass scabs, scraping the pavement.
 
This piece is actually quite good. Different from most I must say. Great imagery and formulation.
 
totally agree with all the statements above, definately a flow of words that go together.

Sometimes big words in poems don't flow well but in this case your choice of words fit nicely :)
 
Top