great boyfriend still want to cheat:(

[outofsight123]

reply

http://www.bluelight.ru/vb/threads/612168-great-boyfriend-still-want-to-cheat-(
im the op This is a response to the comments


I really really appreciate the helpful posts

Unfortunately the relationship I hold with my boyfriend is a really good one, this is what makes me most sad I know he's better then half of the guys out there and he is the one that has brought out this really sexual side of me.
In bed he's a beast but I still want to experience other people and I have a feeling that even if we break Im gonna come back to him for sex. Aside from that its the way he treats me, the friendship we have built, all the drugs we've done together that has brought us close, being use to each other and helping one another
An open relationship is what would be best for me but he would never agree to it...EVER!
I have came to the conclusion that im gonna have to end it , soon maybe in a few week we have a living situation that we have to fix and I want him to be OK and everything else situated because this is REALLY going to stress him out. Right now he has no idea what in going through and I have been keeping this to myself along with the reason to my temptation
I have always been tempted to cheat always avoided it never gaven myself the chance to do it and knew that I would hurt him
But lately it's been hard! really hard! Especially with a certain person that I have to see everyday and this is purely LOOKS and lust nothing else..
I feel like such an ass for promising my boyfriend something I thought once I could handle but now I cant, I feel like im lying to myself and of course that means im lying to him
I know he's gonna cut me off from his life and this is when im gonna see myself hurting because I still want to be with him
Now im just venting
Im thinking of how to tell him so he wont hate me and so i can hold on to our friendship at least
ugh! I wanna get my head straight about all this

 

[Bagseed]

An open relationship is what would be best for me but he would never agree to it...EVER!

What makes you think that? have you ever talked to him about this? i think, you should at least talk about your feelings and needs, before simply breaking up with him. maybe he's more open to the idea than you could imagine?

 

[justsayknow]

If I ever get reincarnated, I want it to be as a hot girl.

^Love it. Me too.

To the OP. Its a shame that you are going to leave him because of this but it sounds like you need to go out and experience what else is on offer out there. Personally I am happy to have these desires but leave them at fantasy. Might be because I dont really like the single life and have already been there and done that or because I'm a male in my 30s but for me chances are the fantasy is going to be better than the reality. In your case it might be different... Theres a really good movie about this but I cant remember what its called if it comes to me I will post it.

 

[Dizmal]

Read up on polyamory! If I were you I wouldn't cheat, but rather define some ground rules with your bf or your next partner(s). Imagine how us men feel when we wanna cheat. We have a throbbing growing mind of its own magnectically pulling us towards hotties just like yourself, and still manage to restrain ourselves from cheating in most cases.

 

[Paradisum]

IMO

I felt the same way, have felt the same way a few times in my 4 year relationship. It is a bit different because I am engaged now (been so since the 3 year mark) and in the past year I had a bad instance where I felt like you and even tried to break it off. The thing is she didnt let me and I am so thankful for that. I have a really high sex drive and love sex. Heck, drugs make it worse. Drugs + sex is like Orgasm to the tenth power even before I orgasm! (if you get me ahaha). But ya back to the point...


Me and my fiance havent had sex since Vday... which is nearly a month in a week. And I am so fine with it. People here say you are just a poly type and you wont be happy and etc. Well, I disagree (no offense to others) because some of these post say that they feel horrible about it. First off I cant be someone who disrespects someone by going behind the back of someone I love (they may have not loved though) and betraying them. That right there is hard enough. Secondly If I am really in love with someone I will discipline myself. Relationships should be a processes where you grow WITH someone. Both partners much make sacrifices for the other.

Honestly you should talk with him and be honest. Say something along the lines of you are scared to cheat on you not because your dis interested but because your really horny and figure out what it is you can do. Be adults and mature. Best thing. He cant read your mind and nor can you read his so communicate. Thats what god gave us mouths for. If things dont work out they dont and life goes on, you say your gorgeous so you will have no trouble finding someone who may be real special again if you desire another relationship. So just please dont cheat.


In my situation (3 weeks without sex for someone who has high libido) I am making it and fine. Never ever thought I would be able to go this long without sex. we used to be sex freaks than she went on depo provera and her sex drive just died. Before here I was in many sexually active relationships. for a while with my fiance i would check out girls and such. Never flirted though but liek you I was scared I would. (I feel I am an attractive guy as well as you feel you are attractive) but I actually dont even check girls out anymore or think about sex much. Life has more beauties it it than the wonderful pleasure of sex. Try and get your mind off it. It can become an addiction like anything else and I found when i would get horny in class or at work it would really throw my game off.

Also Maybe try getting a sex toy or masterbation. It can also relieve if you guys dont get to have sex as much. try new techniques and different ways. Heck watch porn so you can fantasize about as many guys as your want.


MY MAIN PURPOSE FOR DISCOURAGING FOR BEING POLYGAMOUS IS BECAUSE OF THE HIGH AMOUNT OF STD'S GOING AROUND. YES CONDOMS WORK BUT SOMETIMES THEY DONT OR WE JUST ARE TEMPTED TO GO BARE. ALSO PEOPLE LIE. IT IS A RISKY BEHAVIOR AS WELL.



so just really thik about it. Not only is it your emotions on the line but so are someone elses. COmmunication is key.

 

[Paradisum]

Also Might I add... For me personally (and hearing this from others) It is a much better feeling sleeping with someone you are comfortable with and have a companionship with than strangers. There was just something missing when I would sleep with girls I barely knew. No real depth to it. More of a going through the motions and all about my pleasure compared to an sleeping with someone I had feelings for (not even necessarily loved) and wanting to please her as well as it feeling like it had more of a meaning behind it. Like we were further growing in our relationship in a passionate way. Anyways I hope you take some time to think about it. Talk and eventually do what you really feel is right. Sounds like your atleast in twenties or below so you have a lot of life to live! Cherish every moment of it

 

[CoffeeDrinker]

Sex appeal is a bit like currency and it feels like a waste not to spend it.

And not to get all M vs. F here, but I imagine being a young chick is even easier because the value is simply in having the (sex) appeal. You don't need the laundry list of extras that guys need. For example, if a very good looking guy is weak or callow, most girls will avoid him. If a good looking female is weak, it increases the perceived value and if she's callow, then all the better.

If I ever get reincarnated, I want it to be as a hot girl. I want to be able to walk into a bar and my very existence be my entire game.

As for your problem, I completely get it. You want to experience sex with lots of other amazing people. Nothing wrong with that.

The flip side is that your average guy's shelf life is much longer than your average female's.

OP, I wouldn't say you have to break it off with him, just open up to him about this and see what he says. Better to get a gauge of where he's really at, then to just break it off and never know what could've been.

In the end though, it's going to be painful, no matter what you do. The less contact you have with him the better. You most likely will regret this decision at first, and for a time to come, but you'll find someone out there who's better for you. If you think not cheating on him is for his benefit only, then you should do him the favor and break it off.

 

[Cascabulho]

Hi,

Have you think about of make swing?
Its not cheating and can be fun for both

CM.