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Got the birthday blues

captainballs

captainballs

Bluelighter
Joined
Sep 21, 2004
Messages
9,954
As some of you on Facebook have noticed, it is my birthday on the 5th and I appreciate the well wishes. But it seems like my life isn't going anywhere. This weekend, I had my identity stolen and I am completely drained. My cell phne was also stolen, so I was literally stuck for about a day. Everyone in my family is acting like it is my fault and they are not helping me out, so I am having to take a voluntary suspension from work until I can gather enough money to support my commute and food, as well as acquire enough money to replace my phone. My bank is giving me a two week wait period to get my money back. People are calling me idiots for accidenally letting my wallet and phone slip between the seat crack at work, and that I deserve everything that is coming to me.

Tbh, I'm the kind of tired where I just want it all to stop. I've looked into helium regulators for the exit bag, but have come to the conclusion that train decapitation would be more foolproof. I tried and tried, but I'm pretty sure there are no rules to this life. I'll let you guys know how it turns out, or I'm sure you'll find out anyways.

Keep fighting the good fight; don't get discouraged.
 
C'mon man-- you've been doing so well lately. Sure, getting your identity stolen is a massive kick in the nuts, but you know that these fantasies are more harmful than not. We've talked about this plenty, so I won't re-hash things- go read your most recent blog post. Seriously. Do it now.

Also: fuck birthdays right in the ear. You're exactly one day older than you were yesterday. Don't let your odometer turning over bum you out. :)
 
I hear you, man. There are a lot of other things that are crashing down on me right now that have been marinating for years. The other day, when I found out that someone got me good, I went to my main bank to discover that my accounts were frozen and that they are actively trying to pin me down to get me into a court room. I am bouncing from place to place every week dodging process servers and I am just fucking tired. I can't get a legitimate job in finance ever since I was forced to move back to this country in 2008. I'm witnessing first-hand the evolution of the mindset that takes hold of arch-villians, the kind who have fucked themselves to the point where society has a target on their forehead and the main options seem to be suicide or turning to the dark side.
 
There are always options. I know you feel stuck at the moment, but you have to trust that situations change. Spend a minute looking back at your life and concentrate on 5 years ago. I'm going to assume things are very, very different for you now - and this is exactly how you will look back at today in another 5 years.

Things change, we grow and we move on to experience more and more throughout our lives. Don't limit your ability to enjoy what life has to offer.

There's a lot of awesome to come you know. :) <3
 
I'll just answer that with an affirmative because what I really feel like saying is more suicidal ideation masturbation.
 
I give too many false alarms. Now that I have them sufficiently comfortable to chastise me for making such a huge mess, I've made sure that the final conversations were all negative with family members so that when it goes down it will destroy them, and then maybe they'll kill themselves too. And by the time they get to hell, I'll already be promoted so then they'll be really fucked.
 
People like me don't respond to help. I took risks, and I failed. There's nothing for me here, and I already made a promise to myself that 27 years is the limit for how much shit I'm going to put up with. Fuck this shit - in a hunred years a billion people will come and go. Let them get fucked and pretend it's cool.
 
On my last birthday I worked for 16 hours with no break and went home to my shared house where everyone was asleep. Outside of my work colleagues I don't think I spoke to another human being that day.

You're going to be chilling at home....
 
captainballs said:
People like me don't respond to help. I took risks, and I failed. There's nothing for me here, and I already made a promise to myself that 27 years is the limit for how much shit I'm going to put up with. Fuck this shit - in a hunred years a billion people will come and go. Let them get fucked and pretend it's cool.
Click to expand...

Shut up, 27 years...

Remember you have to have been a gift unto mankind of the most talented type to be part of the 27 club. If that aint you, which it sounds like it aint, you're not allowed to die at 27
 
Don't give me that crap CB. You and I both know 27 years is not nearly enough time for the world to have you around.

There's so much more happiness for you to experience! So many cougars.. So many furries.

But seriously - we all love you and definitely want you around. So you haven't achieved what you wanted? Big deal. You have plenty more chances to achieve your goals and I'm sure you grow more and more capable every year.

And asking for help (or for someone to listen) isn't weak at alll - in fact it's highly intelligent. Who knows, it might just give you the perspective you need. <3
 
if i can make it to 35 with all my fuk ups n what not shirley you can get through this shit.

Birthdays are over rated any way , take care mate.
 
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