BackInTheFire88
Greenlighter
- Joined
- Jul 1, 2023
- Messages
- 13
Hello To This Beautiful community,
I’ve crept through these post for years at different stages of my life but finally have found myself needing to make my first post.
Long story short I’ve struggled with opiates most my life, met my current wife while in addiction in 2016 hid it from her for a year and a half until she finally found out and before nearly losing her I got clean in 2017 for over 5 years and had the greatest stretch of my life.
Cleaned my credit up, secured and thrived in a career that allowed me to make 250k + annually and built up 6 figure bank account. Got my health in order, built a great loving marriage I finally had the life I had always prayed for.
And then I relapsed
. It happen so swift, wife wanted mushroom bars I met with an old dealer and bought 6 Oxy 30’s to smoke. Well I’d been out the game 5 years I had no idea there were actually pressed fent pills. Bought a couple more batches, 4 at a time; then 10. Within 2 weeks I was waking up in the middle of the night in withdrawal. I knew I was back in the fire again.
Problem is I had plenty of money so couple hundred here and there didn’t even make a dent. I’m now nearly 3 months in with a $200-$300 a day habit. Probably blown through 20k+
My wife has a great intuition and has recognized something was wrong but I’ve lied and hid it from her. She even drugs test me frequently but I’ve passed because fent doesn’t show up.
I know I’m in to deep and I want out bad! So early this week I tried to quit cold Turkey and my God the withdrawal is awful. My wife didn’t know what I’m going through and would jump on me so rough every time I feel bad and give me a hard time and the irritability would send me back to the dealer.
We leave for Hawaii for 10 days on July 8th and I knew I wouldn’t be able to get more and didn’t want to withdraw so I bought a few Suboxone thinking I could do a rapid detox. Got 30 hours in past my last fent dose in major withdrawal took 1/5 a sub strip and was sent into precipitated w/d. It was hell I had to run back to the fent for relief.
I want our so bad, I’m on the verge of losing my wonderful marriage. So I finally bit the bullet and came clean. As you can imagine just the word fentanyl sent her into a panic. But she says she is going to try to support me through this. When I’m not in addition I’m such a loving, compassionate and selfless lover. But the addiction takes every bit of light God blessed me with.
Sorry for the long back story, but the reason I’m here is to see if anyone can help me figure out the best way to use the comfort meds I have to get past this withdrawal.
I have about 350mg of methadone pills, 3 Suboxone 8mg strips, plenty of red Bali kratom and OPMS Gold kratom extracts and 8 Xanax bars.
I’m thinking of taking about 100mg of methadone a day for the first 3 days to hopefully get most the fent out my system. Maybe 50Mg the 4th day. Then move to the kratom and hope to continue on that through my trip in Hawaii. After 3 days or so if Im still in hell I’ll take small pieces of the strips as needed to get through my vacation
For reference I’ve been smoking 5-10 fent pills for about 6-8 week. Sorry again for the long ran but what do you guys think of the plan? Any changes you would make? Any advice at all would be greatly appreciated.
I’ve crept through these post for years at different stages of my life but finally have found myself needing to make my first post.
Long story short I’ve struggled with opiates most my life, met my current wife while in addiction in 2016 hid it from her for a year and a half until she finally found out and before nearly losing her I got clean in 2017 for over 5 years and had the greatest stretch of my life.
Cleaned my credit up, secured and thrived in a career that allowed me to make 250k + annually and built up 6 figure bank account. Got my health in order, built a great loving marriage I finally had the life I had always prayed for.
And then I relapsed


Problem is I had plenty of money so couple hundred here and there didn’t even make a dent. I’m now nearly 3 months in with a $200-$300 a day habit. Probably blown through 20k+
My wife has a great intuition and has recognized something was wrong but I’ve lied and hid it from her. She even drugs test me frequently but I’ve passed because fent doesn’t show up.
I know I’m in to deep and I want out bad! So early this week I tried to quit cold Turkey and my God the withdrawal is awful. My wife didn’t know what I’m going through and would jump on me so rough every time I feel bad and give me a hard time and the irritability would send me back to the dealer.
We leave for Hawaii for 10 days on July 8th and I knew I wouldn’t be able to get more and didn’t want to withdraw so I bought a few Suboxone thinking I could do a rapid detox. Got 30 hours in past my last fent dose in major withdrawal took 1/5 a sub strip and was sent into precipitated w/d. It was hell I had to run back to the fent for relief.
I want our so bad, I’m on the verge of losing my wonderful marriage. So I finally bit the bullet and came clean. As you can imagine just the word fentanyl sent her into a panic. But she says she is going to try to support me through this. When I’m not in addition I’m such a loving, compassionate and selfless lover. But the addiction takes every bit of light God blessed me with.
Sorry for the long back story, but the reason I’m here is to see if anyone can help me figure out the best way to use the comfort meds I have to get past this withdrawal.
I have about 350mg of methadone pills, 3 Suboxone 8mg strips, plenty of red Bali kratom and OPMS Gold kratom extracts and 8 Xanax bars.
I’m thinking of taking about 100mg of methadone a day for the first 3 days to hopefully get most the fent out my system. Maybe 50Mg the 4th day. Then move to the kratom and hope to continue on that through my trip in Hawaii. After 3 days or so if Im still in hell I’ll take small pieces of the strips as needed to get through my vacation
For reference I’ve been smoking 5-10 fent pills for about 6-8 week. Sorry again for the long ran but what do you guys think of the plan? Any changes you would make? Any advice at all would be greatly appreciated.