Goodbye to my furry best friend.

I don?t have anything eloquent to write, but I am feeling shattered. After struggling for two years with aggression issues, I surrendered my Cat to a no kill shelter today. She was with me for 6 years, 4 of which were lovely and calm.

You were incredibly smart, and sweet. I loved when you?d sit atop my shoulders, play fetch, and wake me every morning with purrs and cuddles. You demanded belly rubs twice a day, like clockwork. You knew when I was sad and would comfort me in those times.


She began to attack me, I believe it was redirected aggression but towards the end I couldn?t even walk out of my bedroom without being bitten, hissed at, or herded. I?ve gone to urgent care 6 times for steroids, antibiotics and wound treatment for the infected puncture wounds she inflicted. I tried medication, Prozac, Xanax, feliway, herbal treatments. Blocking windows and outside stimulation. Positive reinforcement. It felt like she just lost her mind towards the end - one minute curled up on my chest and the other growling spitting and latched onto my leg. The last week was the worst, she wouldn?t sleep and I couldn?t leave my bed without thick jeans and heavy boots covering my legs. I don?t know why but she seemed to not even know who I was.
I don?t know what happened inside your mind, but I do hope you find peace my baby girl. I love you so much. This is so hard - I never thought I?d lose you this way. Thank you for loving me, for making me feel so loved. I hope one day I can find another spirit as bright and unique as yours to keep me company, but for now I can?t bear to think about another pet.
My heart will always be with you, I am so sorry I couldn?t help you find peace. It hurts so much right now, but this has to be better for the both of us eventually, because I think deep down you didn?t want to be hurting me.
love.

 

Aww, that fucking sucks. I'm sorry

 

Aww, that fucking sucks. I'm sorry

thanks Mel

 

I miss my cat, Ralph, too. My landlord told me yesterday that I could have him live with me without paying a pet deposit fee as an emotional support animal, but I think he'll be better off staying on the pecan farm with my parents. He was born August 5th, 2011 AD. He's a Leo, like me!!! So sweet.

 

I'm so sorry for your loss achemicalreaction. I can feel your pain through your post. And I empathize completely. I hope you can find some comfort through memories and old photos. Sometimes they help, but then sometimes I find that looking at pictures brings back floods of memories that just bring the "event" right back to today. It's still very fresh in my mind...the way I lost my best friend, cuddle buddy, and confidant.

It was around midnight in late September and my 3 1/2 year old German Short Haired Pointer, Toby, was sleeping with me, as usual. My son was still awake and decided to let the dogs out one more time before heading to bed himself. We live out in the country, yet we are still on a VERY busy state highway with a speed limit of 55 mph and there are vehicles going 75 at times. In the middle of the night it does quiet down some, but traffic never stops completely of course. Anyway, Toby's nose must have gotten the best of him (which is something that happened quite often, yet he had never crossed that road before, ever) because he ventured over into the hayfield across the highway from our house. My son yelled for him to come back in and as he started crossing the road a car going about 70mph hit him, ran him over, and kept going. Even though my son was SCREAMING Toby's name and SCREAMING for them to STOP THE CAR! They didn't of course.

I heard my sons screams and ran outside. Toby was in shock. He "did" run back into our driveway and then he laid down and just stared. I knew it was bad. My baby boy was hurt bad. We brought him inside to assess his injuries and from the outside, although he did have a few cuts on his back legs and a cut on his head, he didn't look "bad" on the outside. But I knew. I knew it wasn't good. I felt it. We rushed him to a 24-hour emergency vet and sat in the empty waiting room while they sedated Toby and took scans. About 1/2 hour later the vet told us the worst news I think I've ever heard. Toby's intestines and the lining to his bowels were separated and pushed up into his lungs. In order to even TRY to save my baby, I would have to come up with $7000-9000 ...THAT NIGHT.
wut.
WHO CAN COME UP WITH MONEY LIKE THAT IN AN EMERGENCY SITUATION!?
It's not like I was saving for something like that to happen. And even if I DID have the money, they couldn't guarantee that Toby would make it. And she said it wasn't looking good. I chose the only option I had at the time, and that was to let my baby go to sleep in peace and end his suffering. I still see him laying on that table staring at me with love in his eyes....almost as if to let me know that he loved me and that he would miss me too. He knew. I know he knew. I'm crying as I write this...shit I'm such a wuss when it comes to my animals. Anyway, just putting him down cost me over $500. But I have to admit the staff and the veterinarian were EXTREMELY kind and understanding. they let us spend some time to say goodbye and then they put him in a little white casket with his name on it, and made an imprint of his paw with this name engraved on it.

We buried him under his favorite oak tree in the back yard, where he used to sit and watch the cows across the creek. I have no idea if the pain ever goes away entirely...I sincerely doubt that. But the grief has lessoned a "bit" as time goes on. I don't know if this makes me a bad human or not, but I have to admit that I've NEVER grieved SO HARD over another animal...or even human for that matter. I cried everyday for weeks and I still miss him terribly and cry at night missing my little man.

I don't want you to think I am disregarding your feelings or your loss by sharing my story. I guess I just needed to vent a little about my loss as well. I'm sorry if I'm a bit long-winded here. I guess I got a little carried away and I apologize.

Did a vet ever tell you what the cause of your precious girl's behavior change could have been at all? That had to of been SO HARD for you to make the decision you made. I hope you are feeling a bit better day by day, friend. I can be honest with you by saying that I'm pretty sure the pain of losing our furry best friends/family members never really goes away completely. I think there may be a time that we can sit back and fondly and happily remember the good times...because I can absolutely do that...but it always leads to tears and grief again. I guess what I can't get over is the feeling of it being so UNFAIR. And it IS UNFAIR. :*(

Again, I'm so, so, so very sorry for the loss of your baby girl. I hope you can find some comfort daily in knowing that you did do the very best thing you could have done.

If you ever need to talk, or just want to talk. PM me. I'm new here and still learning. But I found my way here this morning and that must count for something.

Much love and sympathy,
Dawn

 

Been gone/busy for a hot minute, and I’ll probably disappear again, but thanks for sharing your story and sorry for your loss. That must have been heartbreaking. That ache is still there - but I did get a positive update on her just a couple months ago. The rescue she ended up at had one very talented person who was able to rehabilitate her to a certain extent, it took a year and she’s still not 100 but they found a new home for her where there wouldn’t be exposed to any of the stimulation that was setting her off (transferred aggression from neighbors cats).
The vet was really no help at all, and the place I sent her agreed with my assessment (transferred aggression). A few months ago I got the nerve to dig and find out what happened to her, and it was bittersweet to be honest, I cried like a baby for a few days. It still squeezes my heart if I let myself think about it. If I had been able to move (which sounds (is) so ridiculous) I might have been able to fix or rehabilitate her behavior but unfortunately it just wasn’t an option. They also discovered, to my dismay, that she needed heavy dental work, which my vet also had missed and was likely contributing to her aggression. I’m glad she’s in a new home now of course, but a part of me feels selfish/bittersweet for wishing I could still have worked things out with her (it sounds like I’m talking about an ex lol), but I know she’s much better off, as am I since I couldn’t just up and move and devote full time hours into changing the behavior. I definitely don’t think I can stomach another pet in my current apartment, but if I ever move into a house I’d definitely consider it. Pets are so precious, the unconditional love you get is so unique, you’ve either experienced that bond or you haven’t and I feel like it’s hard to explain to people who haven’t had a pet before. thanks for the kind words.

 

I'm sorry mate. It took me over 10 years to get another cat after my baby CC died aged 22.

They are definitely as much family as humans.