In a perfect world, I wouldn't be up in the middle of the night
Wondering where I went wrong [again].
There would be someone beside me who would look in my eyes and see the pain,
And want to do anything they could to make it go away.
I fool myself into thinking the heart can be healed with a band-aid and superglue,
No matter how many times it gets broken
The truth is, the heart never truly heals
You can always see the cracks if you look close enough.
When someone loves you, they are looking close enough,
And holding your heart as gently as possible, so that it doesn't break again.
But even those that love us, sometimes forget to stop protecting us
And if you aren't strong enough to hold yourself together,
Then you end up in places like this, on nights like tonight,
Trying to figure it out all out.
A friend told me, don't worry, you'll find someone.
I don't need to find "someone"...
I've found a lot of someones...
The someone who lays beside me as I write this,
With his back turned to me,
It's not the first time I've stared at the tattoo on his back,
Traced it with my finger,
Kissed it in a moment of passion.
And it's not the first time I'll leave without saying goodbye,
Or the first time I'll write about him
Because over the years he's been good to me,
And he's been there when I needed a "someone".
And on Thursday he'll be back on a plane to wherever,
And all I'll have of him is the shirt I'm wearing that he's not getting back
And a card he covered in glitter to make me smile.
Today I'll go back to trying to figure out if everything I love so much here
Is worth staying for, all alone.
All I have here is the guy I've been trying to fall out of love with for a year,
A house full of memories,
And occasionally the company of someone who I start to trust,
Only to find out they aren't who I thought they were.
But then, isn't that all I have anywhere??
Sometimes I wonder, if I had done things different a few summers ago,
If I hadn't been so scared of having exactly what I wanted, for once in my life,
If I wouldn't have left that day...
Would I wake up today happy? In the arms of someone who wouldn't let go?
Or would I have somehow messed that up to,
And still be sitting here, writing about another boy who's come and gone,
Wondering what-if,
And then walking out the door with a handful of the broken pieces of my heart,
Once more.
Wondering where I went wrong [again].
There would be someone beside me who would look in my eyes and see the pain,
And want to do anything they could to make it go away.
I fool myself into thinking the heart can be healed with a band-aid and superglue,
No matter how many times it gets broken
The truth is, the heart never truly heals
You can always see the cracks if you look close enough.
When someone loves you, they are looking close enough,
And holding your heart as gently as possible, so that it doesn't break again.
But even those that love us, sometimes forget to stop protecting us
And if you aren't strong enough to hold yourself together,
Then you end up in places like this, on nights like tonight,
Trying to figure it out all out.
A friend told me, don't worry, you'll find someone.
I don't need to find "someone"...
I've found a lot of someones...
The someone who lays beside me as I write this,
With his back turned to me,
It's not the first time I've stared at the tattoo on his back,
Traced it with my finger,
Kissed it in a moment of passion.
And it's not the first time I'll leave without saying goodbye,
Or the first time I'll write about him
Because over the years he's been good to me,
And he's been there when I needed a "someone".
And on Thursday he'll be back on a plane to wherever,
And all I'll have of him is the shirt I'm wearing that he's not getting back
And a card he covered in glitter to make me smile.
Today I'll go back to trying to figure out if everything I love so much here
Is worth staying for, all alone.
All I have here is the guy I've been trying to fall out of love with for a year,
A house full of memories,
And occasionally the company of someone who I start to trust,
Only to find out they aren't who I thought they were.
But then, isn't that all I have anywhere??
Sometimes I wonder, if I had done things different a few summers ago,
If I hadn't been so scared of having exactly what I wanted, for once in my life,
If I wouldn't have left that day...
Would I wake up today happy? In the arms of someone who wouldn't let go?
Or would I have somehow messed that up to,
And still be sitting here, writing about another boy who's come and gone,
Wondering what-if,
And then walking out the door with a handful of the broken pieces of my heart,
Once more.
