Good idea or bad idea?

[CherryPoppinz]

My friend is getting some ecstasy pills and I'm considering buying 1 for these reasons...

for the past 4-5 months ive been dealing with anxiety due to a plethora of reasons, mainly being lack of sleep, starting college, being away from home for the first time, tripping acid for the first time, doing lots of drugs (mainly marijuana)...
been dealing with alot of obsessive thinking, insecurity, depersonalization, derealization, and just other general anxiety symptoms..pretty much to the point where i was worried i had schizophrenia (which i do not )...

anyways for the past 2 months or so ive been working out, eating healthier, eating more (im a skinny dude), refraining from marijuana (gives me more anxiety) and alcohol use (except on few occasions)...ive done ex once before and had a pretty good experience (it was only half a pill), needless to say my anxiety has noticeably diminished, my self confidence has improved, and im slowly but surely beginning to feel like my old self again..

So back to my original question, I was thinking of just popping a pill this weekend, and going on a hike by myself as a sort of therapeutic kind of deal, my only worries are the depression that ive heard that can occur after using MDMA along with other things like depersonalization and all that shit i dont feel like feeling. Is this a good idea? should i refrain from using MDMA if ive experienced dp and depression and shit? what are your thoughts on what i plan on doing? I should also note that im rather 'sensitive' to changes in perception, i dont want to fuck with my perception of reality anymore than i kind of have..(not to mention MDMA has psychedelic properties and i pretty much hate psychs..)

sorry this was very long but i just wanted to gvie some background information so you know exactly what it is that im sorta dealing with..any advice is MUCH appreciated,

 

[Legerity]

How did you feel the last time you took MDMA, and was this during your period of anxiety? Some people find that MDMA makes their anxiety worse in the long-term, some find that it makes their anxiety worse only for a period after using it, and other people seem fine.

You say you are looking for a therapeutic experience, but that you don't want to change your perceptions. I'm suppose the pleasure of the experience can be considered therapeutic, but part of what can make the experience beneficial for me is because I am able to gain a new perspective that I otherwise didn't have. For me, I feel that this is a good thing, but it does involve a change in perception. Just something to think about if you feel that a change in perception would be harmful to you right now.

So I don't think it's possible to give a definitive answer. The fact that you are just getting over a very difficult period could be reason for caution. If you can be honest with yourself about whether or not you feel that MDMA would be beneficial at this point in time, then maybe the choice will be more clear. But there is always a certain amount of risk involved, especially if you are in a fragile state of mind.

 

[MazDan]

Bad idea.

mdma screws badly with your sense of perception.

Many also claim depersonalisation and depression from using...............check out the Directory for piles of info about those and more

 

[MasterSplinter]

Bad idea.

mdma screws badly with your sense of perception.

Many also claim depersonalisation and depression from using...............check out the Directory for piles of info about those and more

Gotta agree with my old man mazdan that if your tripping out from just "weed" and think you have mental illness taking ecstasy will probably mess with your brain chemistry in the long term term.

But then again, if your will to commit to revalations and introspecticating is strong, you may find that ecstasy can open new insight to your life...just remember what you learned and dont get to hasted.

 

[severlowerbackpain]

Gotta agree with my old man mazdan that if your tripping out from just "weed" and think you have mental illness taking ecstasy will probably mess with your brain chemistry in the long term term.

But then again, if your will to commit to revalations and introspecticating is strong, you may find that ecstasy can open new insight to your life...just remember what you learned and dont get to hasted.

Agree 100%.

When I initially smoked pot, I was having bad trips i.e. self-revelations that I didn't like about myself and seeing myself in negative lights, but I ended up coming back to weed anyway. Why? Because I like how it gives me different perceptions, because that's all they are, perceptions. I should only take positive things out of my experience instead of dwelling on the negative. It was after smoking pot for about 1-2 years and being used to the bad trips and understanding how to calmly deal with them that I then rolled e, and this timing was only by chance. I had kind of avoided it before out of fear, but I suppose my progress with the marijuana made me more open minded to trusting my friends on things like this.

So I had one of the best times of my life after that because I felt like I was truly alive for the first time and I had just been living in like a bubble. It was pretty overwhelming in that sense. Sort of like Neo when he breaks out of the matrix and he's like 'Why do my eyes hurt so much?' and Morpheus is like 'Because you've never used them.' haha.

No but seriously, if you have issues with depression IMO you should work them out first because the e could potentially mess you up psychologically. Although, I've also heard that e is used in therapy sessions so IDK, maybe it might help you ,

your life, your choice.

 

[Jackie Chan]

It will only make things worse if you abuse it a lot like I did for years. When I started taking mdma in highschool I had depression and anxiety. The first few times I did it, it was definitely therapeutic and on the whole helped me deal with my anxiety and depression a lot better when I was sober. My anxiety and depression only got worse when I started taking it much more frequently.

If you’ve only taken it once before and haven’t abused it, I think taking it again will definitely have therapeutic effects that will help you with whatever bad things you’re feeling at the moment. It did that for me when I 1st started. Things only got worse after I started abusing it. It takes a lot of abuse for it to actually worsen your anxiety. I unfortunately know this from experience.

 

[TyphlosionDragon]

Everyone here has offered solid advice. I'd have to echo them. Taking it once may indeed provide you some much needed therapy and boost in mood and outlooks,ect. But don't let it become your crutch. I think doing it once will give you the tools you need to move foward,but you have to put them to good use on your own. Good luck.

 

[MrFaust]

If smoking too much weed gives you anxiety, the comedown from a solid roll will be most likely be very rough for you. All those feelings you describe as being the problem are textbook ecstacy comedown feelings so if you dont think you can handle those at a pretty high level for a week I wouldnt do it at all.

 

[CherryPoppinz]

Yeah, my first roll was during my period of anxiety and although it was only half a pill it was definitely the best Ive felt in a long time...the comedown was not too bad, just felt sort of dazed...

if i did this i definitely would not let it become a crutch, im not the kind of person who is really down to abuse the fuck out of a drug anymore..
mind you guys i did trip 2 hits of acid, so i do know what it feels like to be depersonalized on a pretty fucked level...

i think i may have focused too much on my levels of anxiety and such in my first post..i was just wondering if the feelings that ex brings about would give me feelings that in long term would be worthwhile.

From the looks of it though i probably wont be indulging..thanks alot for the advice guys

EDIT:

oh and by perception i meant my direct perception of reality (im completely down with seeing new perceptions of myself, introspective thoughts), the way i see, sense, and feel things...how much does ex alter how you view things afterwards?

 

[Bearlove]

Your negative symptoms are almost text book side effects from MDMA.

Bad Idea if you ask me.

**Edit** after I read your last post... (And I’ll probably get hated on for saying this but)

What are you looking to achieve? MDMA can, if used correctly be really therapeutic and very relaxing. It can remove you from reality in a very subtle way giving you time to examine yourself and your situation/problems (away from family, growing up, colleague, day to day life etc).

It can give you the opportunity to have a good close look at why you were ‘over thinking things’ being ‘obsessive’ and feeling ‘insecure’ – which to me sounds like the typical stressed out reaction of most people when they have just left home for the first time and are changing into an adult.

MDMA does not change your perception on reality like LSD – LSD shows you a different reality than your used to seeing – MDMA makes you examine what you already have but in an open and objective way.

Yes the side effects from MDMA can be depression but normally if you roll responsibly (test, breaks between doses, average dose, not mixing etc) then these effects (if experienced) will vanish after one / two days (from my experience).