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Going to work high

God, I was a reporter for a local newspaper and I always worked under the influence of hydrocodone or oxy. I wrote some of my best stories under the influence but often caught myself nodding off in front of my computer terminal. Sucked considering I sat right in front of the assignment editors. Too bad I don't remember half of my interviews. Sometimes I'd smoke some weed maybe 2 hours before work but still felt high going into work. That was torture. Too much anxiety and I was way too spaced out to hardly answer the phone. Fuck that.
 
right now im in the military but my last job i could be fucked up at. the first time i was fucked up at work was when some dude just got there so i had to work a few hours then i had a show for my friends band to go to then i had to go back to work to show him how to close out the register. i went to the show which was a barbecue and drank a lot of beer and smoked a joint before goin back. i was fucked beyond recongnition but it was all good because alll i had to do was count some money when i got back. i ended up gettin back too early and had to wait a while before the store closed so some dude showed up not knowin how to work the pring your own picture machine(i worked at a camera store). anyway, the guy i was gonna help close out the register didnt get up quick enough and i went and tried to help him work a childproof machine to print his pictures while fuckd out my mind withough sounding condescheding. it turned out fine so i started drinkin at work everyday for the next 8 months till i got fired for bein a longhair who always smelled like malt liqour and whiskey.
 
When I was at school I worked in a shitty takeaway shop and I always got stuck with the Sunday shifts, so the days I couldn't call up and get out of it I'd usually have a bit of a bump before my shift to stay awake.

Not as bad as some of the other stories here, but one time I was working the day after my last day at school. I'd been up the whole night before and was started to feel pretty hungover by 5pm the next day. I crushed up a pill and snorted about half of it before I went and put the rest in some glad wrap to have when I was there. I spent the first half an hour telling everyone who'd listen about my new fake id, then dissappeared into the toilets to snort the other half. Came out, my boss is standing there, sends me straight home.

Except instead of heading home I went to the bottle shop across the road (in plain view of my boss and workmates, wasn't thinking straight...!) and realise I've left the other half of the pill in the work toilets. So with brown paper bag under my arm, I sheepishly duck into the toilets to grab my 'eyeliner'... Didn't get fired either!
 
I used to work at Home Depot across the street from a bar. When I worked 8 hour shifts I'd get a 1 hour lunch and 2 15 minute breaks, on my lunch I'd find a co-worked and head to the bar. On day we finished 2 pitchers between the 2 of us and went back to work smashed, I then proceeded to sit around doing nothing cuz I was so drunk and got sent home :P
 
StagnantReaction said:
Go to work wasted. go to work bombed.
Ya gotta pull a shot
Before you start the job.
I wanna operate
Heavy machinery.
I wanna watch online pornography.

You gotta go to work high
If you're getting paid low.
You gotta put your nose
to the grindstone, stoned.
That elbow grease
will get you fucked.
you don't wanna be a jerk or shmuck.
fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.
Click to expand...


Just what I was thinking
 
About 2 years ago i worked on a Lobster fishing boat, I'm from south australia and we mainly fished around kangaroo island, it australia's 2nd big island, its very unspoilt by man and has heaps of natural bays for protection from the weather.

We would stay away for 20 days at a time, just living isolated, catching our lobsters for 20 days, then coming back to civilisation and unloading them, refuel, replenish food supplies, the best was my boss used to hook up my ounces of bud for me. He realised without it, my time without civilizations stimulations would be alot harder, so he always made sure i had a good supply of it.

So my day would go as follows, wake up, boat is on anchor in a bay, have some breakfast and coffee, then have my heart starter, 1 bong hit, only always just 1. Then go out pull the pots, half way we would break out the beers, and just slowly drink while we worked. Then once work is done, clean boat and come into the bay and drop anchor. Then the afternoon is mine, bring the bong out, chop bowl, scissors and lighter and smoke my boredom away, then the boss would start dinner, id have a few more bong rips then go down and help him get dinner ready, drink some captain morgans, tangaray(sp?) or what ever good spirits were around.

Now, it was from a lady, whos husband grew alot of weed, he knew his stuff, nice skunky outdoor, perfect almost, it was close to the best weed ive ever smoked. Anywho, this lady actual stole the bud from her husband, and would keep the profits for her self. But she was very dealer-nieve, she honestly would grab the usual sandwich bag used for ounces, staunch it with buds the size of my mobile phone, just filled the bag, never weighed it.. Man it would've been like almost 2 ounces, no crap these buds were BIG, lots of weight to them.

I stayed basicly isolated with 1 other person for 6 months, only seeing people every 20 days. So i was totally dependant on booze and bud, but those were some good days, stress free you know? Everyday was exactly the same, wake up, pull the pots, get stoned, get drunk, eat an awesome dinner, get more drunk, get more stoned then go to sleep and do it all again.

Sorry post is so long just a story of mine i wanted to share.
 
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my daily ritual before work as a pizza delivery driver last summer was:

-rail 20mg of amphetamine salts
-smoke 2 bowls
-continue to smoke whilst delivering pizza
 
yea im thinking of being a delivery driver at night or something so i can blaze in my car the whole time as well.

ive gone to work on all manner of substances, i was a lifeguard for a long as time n we would come in early to clean and get ready or whatever. well every day pretty much we blazed out the pump room. i was also doing a pretty good amount of coke at that point so throughout the day i went into the pump room and did bumps out of my pfunks.

umm restaurant, well coke all the time and shots at the bar throughout. weed before and after. yea. that shit was great. like id just be coked up and work my ass off and it ended up being sort of a positive thing haha
 
Onetime I went to work still drunk from the party the night before. I managed to lose a group of 80 people I was responsible for looking after.
 
One time while smoking a joint with a friend outside the gas station I worked at, some random dude came in to buy gas and smelled the weed. He wanted to buy some but I didn't have any extra so he just smoked the joint with us (well away from the gas tanks of course). Another time a cop came in (they liked getting gas from me for some reason) right after I smoked and smelled the weed. I told him some dude had just come in reeking like dope and had smelled the place up juts by standing in the tiny little booth and he believed me
 
Last time I went to work fucked up was on about half a bottle of liquid methadone..had I been home sitting still I would've enjoyed it, but instead, the brightly-lit grocery store atmosphere + moving around was just too much. I was leaning on the register trying not to get sick but finally just had to run for it & puke. And then run for it AGAIN about 4 more times, when I finally went home.
 
This year I've gone to 6th form drunk more than a few times! 6th form is what we have in the UK for two years before going off to university. I think it was the 9th time getting drunk there I got caught, since I threw up in the central part of 6th form and got seen by a teacher staggering drunkly around! 8(

They didn't throw me out or anything, but the headteacher got this christian drug and alcohol advice group to come in and talk to me, hahah. I think they didn't throw me out because when they asked me why I got drunk I replied ''BECAUSE I WAS SAD''.

I hate that 6thform so fucking much though, drinking just makes the day go by quicker.

When I'm stoned there I can just see why I hate it, makes it really easy to see the flaws. I've gone in on speed as well, but that resulted in staying up 36 hours and going to the Christmas party on the comedown from hell! I just wanted to die.
 
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I did speed a few times at college on my catering course, makes you a shit hot chef!=D and I used to smoke a joint or two before work quite regulary, but decided that wake n bake n work just zombies me.:|
 
i had a pizza delivery job for a long time and would go to work baked all the time, then later on when i got into coke i would sometimes be still high on coke, being high on the coke definitley made me more relaxed and i didnt care about taking long deleverys..haha...actually like right before i left that job, this girl who was a cook there, me and her did some lines in the bathroom, and when i was laying them out, the boss randomly appears into the pizza place, says he forgot something (cause it was just me and her closing up) and he goes "Wheres Joe?" and the girl said oh hes in the bathroom, so on a few occasions since my boss doesnt close the door fully when in the crapper, ive walked in on him pooping, so he runs over and tries to fuck with me by ripping the door open, i ran over to the door and locked it just befor ehe ripped at it, he ripped so hard that the locked pop and i had to click it again, meanwhile i had four lines spread out ona cd case on the toilet head, no way to hide shit, no one got caught but fucking scary moment. haha laughed bout it later
 
when i worked at a gas station, i was by myself, i worked long into the night and it wasnt that busy. there was nothing to buy in the shack i sat in while waiting for cars, so i could blast music and i used to sniff everything from coke to meth to oxy to heroin...to smoking weed to crack....to trippin on LSD on new years eve night...crazy times...not to mention the yay that was pushed. but dealers would always be coming by throwing shit at me. it was a wild time.
 
I used to go to work on x every now and then when i was younger, i was a glass collector in a night club tho so it kinda fit! :D
 
I went to work yesterday all fucked up on Ms Contin panning out shit for the stop and shop bakery hahahhahh i actually got shit done quicker
 
i prefer being at work high on some type of opiate. usually strong poppy seed tea. and yes, i've been at work in an opiate glory many many several bunches of times. somebody mentioned they are more productive at work when high... i agree, but only on opiates. opiates make me feel like doing any and everything, even work.

i could see going to work on speed too, and i have on rare occassions... but usually when i'm the only one there, when i'm in on the weekend doing some kind of shit i forgot to do during the week. but it wouldn't be hard to actually deal with people at work on speed.

going to work drunk, nope never done that but i've gotten drunk while AT work. i've gone to work stoned and was so fucking paranoid that i am scarred to this day.
 
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