Going to cold turkey it!

[Mia.Carlson66]

Hi all, I have been a pill addict for 3 or 4 years now. I thought it was all fun and games before it dug its claws in me and hasn't let go since. I am very worried about my health. I get a script and take 90mg a day. 2975mg of apap rectally for 10 days out of the month. I'm very scared. I feel so alone. I never thought I'd be like this, I hate myself. I feel weak and miserable/ pathetic because I've said I'd quit so many times and don't. I cry constantly because of this. I'm very depressed. It hurts bad if I don't have them. I spend all my money on them. I am in dire need to stop using. I have 16 left. I'm going to quit after this. I have to. I am just writing because I need someone to talk to. I feel so alone.

 

[Kittycat5]

Hang in there Mia. You seem comitted to quitting so that is a huge first step. I have been an off and on pill addict for more years than I remember and CT'ed 300-400mg oxy habit a few years ago. It can be done but you are in for a few weeks of hell followed by months of uncertainty and struggle to find out how to live without them, followed by years of recovery. I do not know if you have access to an addiction specialist doctor who can make this process easier with Suboxone or Methadone, as well as other supportive meds and counselling. If you do, DO THAT, YOU STAND A FAR GREATER CHANCE OF BEATING IT WITH HELP.

If not, surround yourself with loved ones. Be brutally honest with them and ask for their help and support. I always tell people to try to kick far away from where you live if possible, but know not everyone can.

Dont be afraid, Mia. You can do this.

 

[Mia.Carlson66]

Thank you for the reply. I sure hope so, I need my life back. I've only been addicted to this severity for about 8 months. Before that I did them here and there. I hope I didn't ruin my health. I'm still very worried. I have 3 left now. I took a lot but did cwe on a bunch last night. I am so freaking worried about these withdrawals that are soon to come.

 

[Phil.McKeer]

As mentioned below it would really benefit you from having some buprenorphine (subutex/suboxone). If you can find any, it will drastically increases your chances of making it through.

There are a lot of discussions through the years on this site about comfort meds and strategies to help with acute withdrawal and recovery and you should check them out.

Best of luck to you. It sounds like you are committed and that's the best way to start off. That's how I CT'ed a pack a day cig habit. Yours will obviously more difficult than that but there's a lot of support here if you need it.