Cocaine Going from excessive use to acceptable use

[Stringer_Bell]

Have any of you managed to do this with cocaine (insufflated)? My coke use is pretty out of hand. I'm not using every day but going on regular multi-day binges where I'll get through 3-4 grams (probably every 3 weeks).

The thing is I LIKE using coke, I just don't want to fuck my life up/destroy my health in the process.

Are my only choices to quit altogether or turn into a raging addict or is it possible to moderate my use? I don't think once a month is realistic for me. I'd be happy with doing a gram every two weeks (over 1-2 days).

Also, if I carry on like this, how is my downfall likely to occur? I mean financial, mental issues, health issues, etc?

 

[whateveryouwill]

how old are u?

we can all promise u that its impossible to use hard drugs moderately.

the first problem is usually mental dependency. you will end up using everyday, bet on that. Then depending on ur living/social situation is dependent on ur problems. if u live alone, and don't make a lot of money, and even if u were making 6 figures or more, u can easily fall into financial problems. but yeah, just do the math..

but yeah, ur not really asking a question. ur just looking for an answer to rationalize using the way u want to.

u shouldnt be getting that here on this website.

this is a cliche quote but its the truth

nothing- NOTHING good will come from the choice to use drugs.

 

[pbuilder]

how old are u?

we can all promise u that its impossible to use hard drugs moderately.

the first problem is usually mental dependency. you will end up using everyday, bet on that. Then depending on ur living/social situation is dependent on ur problems. if u live alone, and don't make a lot of money, and even if u were making 6 figures or more, u can easily fall into financial problems. but yeah, just do the math..

but yeah, ur not really asking a question. ur just looking for an answer to rationalize using the way u want to.

u shouldnt be getting that here on this website.

this is a cliche quote but its the truth

nothing- NOTHING good will come from the choice to use drugs.

I disagree with that quote, i think psychedelics can really open up your mind. Nothing good comes from hard drug use though, thats for sure. (Opiates, benzos, cocaine, and meth, and heroin as the worst opiate, these all generally end badly)

 

[Stringer_Bell]

how old are u?

we can all promise u that its impossible to use hard drugs moderately.

the first problem is usually mental dependency. you will end up using everyday, bet on that. Then depending on ur living/social situation is dependent on ur problems. if u live alone, and don't make a lot of money, and even if u were making 6 figures or more, u can easily fall into financial problems. but yeah, just do the math..

but yeah, ur not really asking a question. ur just looking for an answer to rationalize using the way u want to.

u shouldnt be getting that here on this website.

this is a cliche quote but its the truth

nothing- NOTHING good will come from the choice to use drugs.

Thank you. I appreciate the reply. I'm 38.

I already am using way too much, I don't doubt that. I wondered if i could get to a place where I could use a 'reasonable' amount. I am not disagreeing with what you say but there are many people that use cocaine recreationally aren't there? Doesn't that contradict what you're saying about it being impossible to use hard drugs moderately?

Financially, I don't think this will be a problem at the moment but could be in the future.

Yes you're right that I'm looking for a way to rationalise using coke. The reason is that I enjoy it and I don't enjoy many things in life (I have depression and few things are enjoyable). So of course I'd like to keep using if I could.

I agree that nothing good comes from the choice to use but still so many of us use them.

So it sounds like you are saying I should quit altogether. I think you're right. It's not particularly appealing but I guess it's the best thing to do.

I'd still be interested to hear other views.

And finally, give me some hope man. I've been using for about four months, on and off. Am I going to be able to walk away from this?

 

[Stringer_Bell]

I disagree with that quote, i think psychedelics can really open up your mind. Nothing good comes from hard drug use though, thats for sure. (Opiates, benzos, cocaine, and meth, and heroin as the worst opiate, these all generally end badly)

Hi pbuilder. You replied to one of my posts months ago after I had just flushed coke. Don't know if you remember it, but you were right, lol

 

[Stringer_Bell]

I disagree with that quote, i think psychedelics can really open up your mind. Nothing good comes from hard drug use though, thats for sure. (Opiates, benzos, cocaine, and meth, and heroin as the worst opiate, these all generally end badly)

Hi pbuilder. You replied to one of my posts months ago after I had just flushed coke. Don't know if you remember it, but you were right, lol

It's just so hard to give up something you enjoy doing more than everything else in life.

 

[szuko000]

It's just so hard to give up something you enjoy doing more than everything else in life.

Thats what is called being stuck. Its not a matter of giving up something you enjoy more then anything in life but learning to hem that which has a collective negative impact on your life. Sure it can be hard at first but you will eventually substitute it with something more wholesome if you can get past the first weeks or months. I recently stopped using all hard drugs and my girl and i got on methadone after 3 years of hard drug use daily. The first 9 months were like repeating those days on dope without the dope I have a job but she does not. For 9 months every so often i would hear from her the only thing that changed was there was no dope, sure she wasnt sick but she wasnt happy and she had to face the world she thought she could hide from (boredom) but we finally started making new friends after 9 months of "trying" in a sense.

It really does get better but you have to stick with it. Life has a way of being hard to get going so you have to stick through the initial nothing happening which can really play on your emotions and what you thought was fun may no longer seem it but once you stack a new set of nice memories where you think "i would never want to jeopardize what i have now with who i was in the past" you should be ok then on. I can seriously say that it took 9ish months to finally meet people who both myself and my g/f could hang out with that were mature enough for our pre junkie mind set yet understanding enough that we have direct experience in heroin use so we will make jokes about it from time to time.

You just have to be strong and trust that the sober you is the you you want in the future. Eventually you will come to stop using coke just as most people begin to at some point question whether its worth continuing as the law of diminishing returns states eventually you will have to decide what gives you the best set up for happiness. I am just trying to say that "eventually you can have a life without but you need to stack good memories on top of those drug using ones so they dont get dug up by mistake and make you feel bad"

 

[namnoc16]

I already am using way too much, I don't doubt that. I wondered if i could get to a place where I could use a 'reasonable' amount. I am not disagreeing with what you say but there are many people that use cocaine recreationally aren't there? Doesn't that contradict what you're saying about it being impossible to use hard drugs moderately?

The people that can use coke recreationally never have developed full blown addiction and sure can handle it,for awhile but most will develop dependency or quit people don't go on chipping forever! I don't know how far you are down the rabbit hole but it sounds like you've crossed that line into addiction(rationalizing is a big indicator) and once you have you can't ever go back!

 

[cj]

Thats what is called being stuck. Its not a matter of giving up something you enjoy more then anything in life but learning to hem that which has a collective negative impact on your life. Sure it can be hard at first but you will eventually substitute it with something more wholesome if you can get past the first weeks or months. I recently stopped using all hard drugs and my girl and i got on methadone after 3 years of hard drug use daily. The first 9 months were like repeating those days on dope without the dope I have a job but she does not. For 9 months every so often i would hear from her the only thing that changed was there was no dope, sure she wasnt sick but she wasnt happy and she had to face the world she thought she could hide from (boredom) but we finally started making new friends after 9 months of "trying" in a sense.

It really does get better but you have to stick with it. Life has a way of being hard to get going so you have to stick through the initial nothing happening which can really play on your emotions and what you thought was fun may no longer seem it but once you stack a new set of nice memories where you think "i would never want to jeopardize what i have now with who i was in the past" you should be ok then on. I can seriously say that it took 9ish months to finally meet people who both myself and my g/f could hang out with that were mature enough for our pre junkie mind set yet understanding enough that we have direct experience in heroin use so we will make jokes about it from time to time.

You just have to be strong and trust that the sober you is the you you want in the future. Eventually you will come to stop using coke just as most people begin to at some point question whether its worth continuing as the law of diminishing returns states eventually you will have to decide what gives you the best set up for happiness. I am just trying to say that "eventually you can have a life without but you need to stack good memories on top of those drug using ones so they dont get dug up by mistake and make you feel bad"

Great post. My methadone counselor always tells me that nothing changes if nothing changes.

OP it sounds like you are still in the hunting moon phase of your coke use. You are having fun and everything is cool but you can see the problems coming off in the distance. This logically this would be the best time to quit but it's also the hardest time to quit psychologically. Moderation is tough with coke because there is no good time to quit with the crash being what it is. The best way to moderate your use is to only buy small amounts and only a set number of times a month. But it will be very difficult and quitting outright is the smart move.

 

[vedev]

it's not terribly surprising that you like coke. if you didn't you wouldn't be spending money on it, right? there's certainly a super-slim chance that you will be able to regulate your use, but the odds say otherwise. your downfall (as you put it) is not only likely, but almost guaranteed. you already have misgivings, but want to rationalize continued use...

 

[Erikmen]

^ I believe vedev has a good point.

 

[szuko000]

OP it sounds like you are still in the hunting moon phase of your coke use.

Dude that has to be the greatest auto correct or typo i have ever seen... "the hunting moon phase of cocaine" sounds very masculine and hardcore

 

[bben]

Dude that has to be the greatest auto correct or typo i have ever seen... "the hunting moon phase of cocaine" sounds very masculine and hardcore

i agree with this

 

[cj]

Dude that has to be the greatest auto correct or typo i have ever seen... "the hunting moon phase of cocaine" sounds very masculine and hardcore

LOL yes yes lets blame auto correct

 

[manboychef]

OP: You addiction is not the drug. The drug is an inanimate object that is not harmful on its own. Addiction is the actions/mindsets that the user of said drug will do in order to obtain a dopamine reward.

Our brains are cool pieces of technology that we still don't fully understand. Cocaine hijacks the reward center of your brain...basically it floods your brain with dopamine which is usually the response to doing something like eating a fatty food, having sex, or making fire (added that in case you were a caveman with a laptop). These all release a small amount of dopamine slowly...cocaine gives you a blast of euphoria (huge burst of dopamine). Eventually through use of cocaine you won't be able to get dopamine through normal avenues...yeah I know, that roastbeef sammich you been eyeing? nope no dopamine from eating that...that girl with the short skirt showing up at your door? nope just soulless passionless sex and your orgasm won't nearly be as strong. Your brain becomes hardwired to only accept cocaine as the way to release dopamine and you end up in a state of anhedonia which can last a long time.

I am no doctor...but I would suggest taking stock of what you want in your life...and look further down the road than just the immediate pleasure that cocaine gives you. I know. I was a speedball addict, and I still have a hard time finding pleasure in simple things.

 

[Stringer_Bell]

Thank you so much for all your replies.

I've made a decision. I never want to use again. Ever.

Now I would just like someone to tell me 'how far down the rabbit hole' I am.

- Have used over the course of four months
- Normal use is 3-4 day binge of 2-3.5 grams
- After the binge I get very depressed for about 3-4 days then recover
- A few days after recovery I begin the cycle again
- During the four months there was a 2 months period I didn't use at all because I was abroad in a country where they would lock me up for 20 years for just mentioning 'cocaine'
- I have never smoked or injected
- I have a good job and a loving girlfriend
- I don't have any other drug addictions although I take antidepressants and occasional benzos (maybe once a week but they've never had any recreational value for me).

I would just like somebody to tell me I can quit and that it's not like a 1 in 10 chance I'm going to make it. I feel so disappointed in myself, ashamed and dispirited. I want to go back to the healthy life I had before, running 10km a day, eating well, sleeping well, enjoying dinners with a couple of glasses of wine.

I'm worried I've screwed my life up and that I'm going to repeat my pattern of abuse indefinitely.

I know it varies from individual to individual but how hard is this going to be? How deep am I into this addiction? Presumably it's not going to be as tough as somebody who has been IV'ing heroin for 20 years.

I'm resolved now, I really am but I've vowed to give up coke before (always after a binge) and I've always gone back to it. I never want to do that again.

 

[Tinker55]

Maybe you need some help in staying sober-like a plan. Maybe a therapist is a 12 step program isn't your thing. You need to break the cycle and some times changing your habits and life is required. Erase your dealers from your phone and block their numbers. Don't hang out with the people you used with. (Sorry for the grammar)

I doubt you will have any physical issues but the mental addiction is huge.

 

[JM357]

It sort of angers me, no offense, when people say no one can use hard drugs responsibly- that was the exact statement that got me using (b/c I saw several people who did and in my blocki 5 out of the 6 of us who hung out tried H and I was the only one to become addicted (13 years later)). So then I thought "this is all drug war BS and did them!"

BUT none of those people were worried about their use, timed really how often they used (could go months in between), so basically I feel like if your worried ten you probably should be.

If someone had told me the actual stats (which I believe puts cocaine at 15%, alcohol, 18%, heroin 25% ) I would not have tried it.

 

[Stringer_Bell]

The problem is that I've always tended to do coke on my own so I can't even stop hanging round with people.

The other huge problem is that it's impossible to cut off my supply by deleting my dealers' numbers.

I'll be moving country in a couple of months to a place where i won't be able to get coke. It doesn't feel like the ideal solution because I want to stop through my own resolve not because i want to do coke but can't because I can't get it. But it's better than nothing I suppose. But that's in a couple of months and I hope I can not use until then.

Fuck, this really isn't another problem I needed in my life. It's weird, some people say they have walked away from coke easily, while opiates have been almost impossible. The only thing I've quit before is cigarettes and I imagine coke is way tougher than that. I'm sitting here thinking how I should go about this, there seem many options. Going to meetings, getting a therapist, just using willpower. I honestly have no idea.

 

[Tinker55]

You know, a combination of any or all may be appropriate. Or start small-find a meeting. If you don't like it, call a therapist. But in your own mind, you have to say you're done. You may be moving, but would you feel better taking steps on your own? Ok, erase the dealer's numbers. If you use at home on certains, get out of the house. Tell your girlfriend. Change your circumstances.

My story isn't important. But I've lived with addiction and learned that the habit of using has to be broken.