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Going for it again.

K

-Kitten

Bluelighter
Joined
May 23, 2011
Messages
283
Location
France
So some of you probably remember I made a sexless relationship post.
We somewhat have managed to fix it he started cumming... A lot in fact.
Then one day of no sex.. the day after that we fucked, he didn't cum so he jacked off. He is a huge idiot and says I told him to. And I did AFTER i already saw he was touching him self so I was like fuck it It was a lost hope... just go. He did, day after same thing and today same thing and etc.
I accept he can't cum with me but if he can't then I would rather not have sex like really, when a guy cums in me that's one of the only things to set me off if he can't then it's like dude stop what you're doing.
Plus when he doesn't cum with me he ends up losing all desire and etc and we fuck less, or not long, and fight more and etc.
And on another note I ONLY ever came when or a few sec after he cums... it's just like that wierd but true. So yeah no point to fuck someone that is going to only frustrate me and that I will frustrate.
I haven't left him some people on the forum said I should, and I thought long and hard about it and tried once or twice to leave him but I do love him.
The thing is since when he cums he either breaks it by jacking it off, or something else breaks it then he won't cum for what it seems like forever... weeks, or sometimes just never... I can never know. So I want the sexless thing.
BUT.
Really this post is... I want to be able to fuck someone sometimes... not like whenever I please but just when I really need it, he can join do whatever he wants but as long as the other guy is giving me what I need. I have no idea if this WOULD KILL the relationship with my fiancé or if It's wrong to do but I don't WANT TO cheat... i want to ask him and talk about it with him.
How would one bring this up to someone? I mean would you do it if you loved someone but they couldn't fuck you, so like you need to find pleasure another way... but still love that person.
Meh this post probably doesn't even make sence...
 
^ have sex longer? Chain him to a bed and force him to ejaculate in you? Your problem seems to be the problem and the solution to itself.
 
fucking him longer wont change it... at all. we have fucked for a longg time before times just too long but i keep going hah and he wont cum. but it isnt me its every girl he has cum with me more than he has any girl. yet i still cant seem toaccept this shit.
 
i recently found out from my doctor that a mans cum is like a drug for us ladies. your lady parts are going thhrough withdrawl.
 
I'd just lay out your plan to him and see what he says. Maybe it's just the push he needs to get his act together. If he has a physical problem, he should see a doctor and if it's mental, deal with that. But if it were me and my wife or lover said to me, hey I really need to fuck someone occasionally and since you can't seem to do it, I'd like to bring in another guy to take care of me. I think the hair on the back of my neck would stand up and I'd make sure it was me doing the "taking care of" in the relationship!
 
Kitten, since I remember your other posts, I'll just lay it out for you from my own personal feelings and opinions. You got to lose this guy. You're not happy. It sounds like you're making all kinds of excuses to compromise yourself and your happiness for this guy. You can't keep doing this to yourself. Do you want to be one of those angry old ladies who has nothing nice to say to anyone? That's what happens when you go through life miserable. At 20 years old, it seems ok, but I guarantee you at 40 or 50 you will look back and feel like you wasted your life. Lose this guy before you get pregnant and you're stuck with him for life. I guarantee you that he is not happy either.
 
I've read your other posts too, and I agree with Lysis.

You need to find someone that can meet your needs (not just referring to sex here), and he needs to find someone that can accept him and meet his.

Neither of you are happy, and it's best to get out now rather than draw it out till you end up full of resentment or pregnant.
 
A - I'm just gonna say that I think you need to dump him - he's not gonna get better unless you break up with him - you are the catalyst. If you stay with him you're going to get lower in mood and your self esteem will doubtless go down with it.
 
B1tO'RoughJack said:
A - I'm just gonna say that I think you need to dump him - he's not gonna get better unless you break up with him - you are the catalyst. If you stay with him you're going to get lower in mood and your self esteem will doubtless go down with it.
Click to expand...

My self esteem went away a long time ago. I cant even fuck him anymore for a longgg time... i will most likely just block my self from doing anything anymore.
 
Kitten, can you make yourself angry? Be angry. Don't let yourself get dragged down by some guy, ya know? Fight! Be true to yourself and your own happiness. You deserve SO MUCH better.
 
B1tO'RoughJack said:
Ma cherie, ma belle - that don't sound fun at all does it?
Click to expand...

I know it doesn't but. I don't know how to love someone and just leave like that. Yesterday he jacked off again he always does near me which I don't mind I just kiss him and shit. It's to the point I don't care. Probably because the time before that sex was probably one min nothing more he couldnt stay hard because he already pleased himself.

And Lysis I don't know how to fight anymore. :(
 
you keep asking for second opinions like it's going to change the truth. get out. find someone who makes you happy. life is too fucking short to give up everything you want just because you're afraid of a break-up.
 
^EXACTLY.

Kitten - the time before he jacked off already - he should've cum less quick, not quicker! :/ Lift your chin up to the sky - it's hard to leave - but seriously, he's making it easier isn't he? His actions are making you miserable...we're not saying you have to leave him forever, because he might change and you might have something going in a year or 2 when he's sorted himself out BUT now you need (actually NEED) to break up with him and move away into a place of yourown, to regain your independence and continue to work on making yourself stronger and happier. Bisous
 
B1tO'RoughJack said:
^EXACTLY.

Kitten - the time before he jacked off already - he should've cum less quick, not quicker! :/ Lift your chin up to the sky - it's hard to leave - but seriously, he's making it easier isn't he? His actions are making you miserable...we're not saying you have to leave him forever, because he might change and you might have something going in a year or 2 when he's sorted himself out BUT now you need (actually NEED) to break up with him and move away into a place of yourown, to regain your independence and continue to work on making yourself stronger and happier. Bisous
Click to expand...

:( I know, you are totally right , you all are. I'm just lost. I know what to do but can't. I have this wall in front of me blocking me. Bisous
 
That's a shame. Is it a financial thing? Or is this an emotional thing? If it's financial, save up a little bit each paycheck to move out. Put it in a savings account, and do not tell him about it. If it's an emotional thing, well, you have to be true and strong for yourself and realize that being alone and on your own is a hell of a lot more satisfying than being miserable. You won't be alone forever, but you can take the time alone to think, get your head together, and better yourself. Being single is totally gratifying once you are comfortable with yourself.
 
Ok, I read the first half of the last thread, and didn't see anyone mention this yet:

Are you absolutely sure y'all just haven't discovered what arouses him in a way to enable him to cum?

I'm 26, and it took me until a few months ago to realize what my problem is.

I enjoy sex, and love to having it often, but I have a big problem with getting hard/keeping hard when the girl I'm with is in the mood. When I do get aroused (requires certain triggers), I can cum just fine, but unless those happen, even penetration & sex won't make me cum. I finally realized I just completely lack primary sexual arousal triggers. Extremely attractive female can be naked on my bed saying "fuck me now", and I will -not- get hard. Seeing attractive women does not make me hard, regardless of how sexual or seductive they may act. Physical stimulation from her via grinding or blowjob does not make me hard.

Secondary sexual arousal triggers, however... do make me hard. Cuddling makes me hard, making out and passionate displays of physical affection make me hard, her moaning in pleasure makes me hard and her professing her love for me makes me hard.

Finally figured this out after my last girlfriend, had sex twice, took me an hour to get hard enough to penetrate (which once that occurs, I still can't cum due to a lack of arousal unless she starts really getting into it with moans/displays of desire), and afterwards when she got tired of trying to make me cum, we cuddled for a bit. She was no longer in the mood, but the cuddling made me hard as hell... very frustrating.

Unfortunately we didn't last long enough for me to work with her on this, and she also hated cuddling unless she was going to sleep... so bleh.

Anyways, I now know what to tell next sexual partners. In order for me to be able to perform sexually, I need to cuddle with them or pleasure them orally first (and when it finally gets hard from giving oral, start immediately before it goes away).

Strangely enough, porn still works, but I think that's due to the pleasure displayed by females, and I highly prefer porn with people who are couples and actually care about each other. "Porn star" scenes do nothing for me.

Before you give up... try cuddling/being affectionate as foreplay instead of sexualized foreplay. See if that works...
 
I think a lot of people confuse attachment with love. If he is able to jack off and cum but not inside of you, then there is something inside of him saying hey stop being with this girl you are attached you arent truly in love fool wake up! Or he could be gay possibly and be in denial about it. But it is up to you to decide if you are attached to this man or if you are in love with him. Because from my point of view if you are truly in love with someone the pleasure and sensuality of love making comes natural for those truly in love, unless its a physical problem. But it sounds psychological so you need to explore that! good luck =]
 
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