BlackMagicWoman
Bluelighter
I definitely believe in a Higher Power - I think it's kinda arrogant to assume that we humans are all there is - that there's nothing above us......and I have a hard time believing "we're born, we live, we die" and that's it - nothing more.....in my mind, there just HAS to be more to it than that.......and, for me, the higher power is God as defined by Christianity....but I have no problem with other people's beliefs - each to their own I think
I went to a private Anglican girl's school from kindergarten to Grade 12....yes, we had to go to Chapel every week and Cathedral for special occasions...but I never felt like it was shoved down my throat, and we were always taught to question everything, especially in our Religious Ed classes...and we were told "if you don't believe, then just use the Chapel services as some quiet reflective time".........I have to say, I got a bit sick of all the "formality" of the Anglican services, so after high school I took a break from it during uni - my beliefs didn't change, but I didn't need to go to church to express them..... After uni, I hopped on a plane and went to the States to do the "finding myself" thing....and after a couple months I felt more lost than I was when I got there *LOL* In my darkest time, I stumbled across somebody who I can only describe as an Angel on earth...she brought God back into my life, and it was exactly what I needed then - so many things happened which just couldn't be explained by coincidence....I just knew it was the right thing for me......one afternoon, she took me to church with her - but not the kind of church I was used to.....it was this tiny old wooden building and looked pretty run down - all I could think was "what am I doin here??".....but soon as I walked inside, I knew I was where I belonged - there was soooooo much love in the air...... The congregation was almost all African-American, and it was totally like out of a movie, with the preacher up the front giving the most passionate sermon I've ever heard, and everybody singing and dancing, and standing up to tell stories of what God had done for them.....it was amazing - and they accepted me no questions asked - I've never met a group of more wonderful, spiritual people in my life....they invited me into their homes, they shared so much with me, and they taught me that it doesn't matter how you show your belief in a higher power - just believing and having faith is enough....we don't all need to be the same - after all, variety is the spice of life
I spent so many nights sitting on people's ancient front porches in the twilight, reading the Bible with them and just learning from their wisdom (some of these people were in their 90s and had seen sooooo much, considering the struggles of blacks in America).....and I defy anybody to tell me there wasn't a higher power at work during those nights........ When the time came for me to leave, I sat in the church and cried my eyes out....and the pastor said during his sermon "when you came here, you were like a lost sheep who'd strayed all the way from Australia into our pasture....but God guided you here for a reason....every week I've looked down and seen you sitting there, and seeing you get your faith back has helped to strengthen all of ours...we love you"................it was sooooooo hard to leave, but I had no choice.........and when I got back here I just couldn't go back to our formal church services....so, now I don't go to church anymore..........but, since I've been in the scene I've noticed something - when I'm out, meeting all the awesome people in the scene, and feeling all the love, it reminds me a lot of how it was when I was in the States..........so, as ridiculous as it may sound, I guess in a way the scene fills the void I've had since I left that place...........when God closes a door, he opens a window
(and no I'm not a religious nut....I almost never talk about it.....and if you saw me out partying my butt off you'd be more inclined to think I'm a Satanist than a Christian...hahaha)
One last thing....I don't feel restrained by Christian beliefs - I don't take the Bible literally....I think a lot of it is metaphorical.....and I also borrow things from other religions....like, I believe in reincarnation and karma (makes sense that we'd live lots of lives and learn everything there is to learn until we attain enlightenment and go to Heaven)....and I believe in evolution as well as creation (methinks God created the first organisms, knowing they'd evolve into humans)....hmmm there's a topic for a new thread!! *LOL*
Sheesh I sure can ramble on...... *firmly turns off the tap that is her mouth*

I went to a private Anglican girl's school from kindergarten to Grade 12....yes, we had to go to Chapel every week and Cathedral for special occasions...but I never felt like it was shoved down my throat, and we were always taught to question everything, especially in our Religious Ed classes...and we were told "if you don't believe, then just use the Chapel services as some quiet reflective time".........I have to say, I got a bit sick of all the "formality" of the Anglican services, so after high school I took a break from it during uni - my beliefs didn't change, but I didn't need to go to church to express them..... After uni, I hopped on a plane and went to the States to do the "finding myself" thing....and after a couple months I felt more lost than I was when I got there *LOL* In my darkest time, I stumbled across somebody who I can only describe as an Angel on earth...she brought God back into my life, and it was exactly what I needed then - so many things happened which just couldn't be explained by coincidence....I just knew it was the right thing for me......one afternoon, she took me to church with her - but not the kind of church I was used to.....it was this tiny old wooden building and looked pretty run down - all I could think was "what am I doin here??".....but soon as I walked inside, I knew I was where I belonged - there was soooooo much love in the air...... The congregation was almost all African-American, and it was totally like out of a movie, with the preacher up the front giving the most passionate sermon I've ever heard, and everybody singing and dancing, and standing up to tell stories of what God had done for them.....it was amazing - and they accepted me no questions asked - I've never met a group of more wonderful, spiritual people in my life....they invited me into their homes, they shared so much with me, and they taught me that it doesn't matter how you show your belief in a higher power - just believing and having faith is enough....we don't all need to be the same - after all, variety is the spice of life

I spent so many nights sitting on people's ancient front porches in the twilight, reading the Bible with them and just learning from their wisdom (some of these people were in their 90s and had seen sooooo much, considering the struggles of blacks in America).....and I defy anybody to tell me there wasn't a higher power at work during those nights........ When the time came for me to leave, I sat in the church and cried my eyes out....and the pastor said during his sermon "when you came here, you were like a lost sheep who'd strayed all the way from Australia into our pasture....but God guided you here for a reason....every week I've looked down and seen you sitting there, and seeing you get your faith back has helped to strengthen all of ours...we love you"................it was sooooooo hard to leave, but I had no choice.........and when I got back here I just couldn't go back to our formal church services....so, now I don't go to church anymore..........but, since I've been in the scene I've noticed something - when I'm out, meeting all the awesome people in the scene, and feeling all the love, it reminds me a lot of how it was when I was in the States..........so, as ridiculous as it may sound, I guess in a way the scene fills the void I've had since I left that place...........when God closes a door, he opens a window

(and no I'm not a religious nut....I almost never talk about it.....and if you saw me out partying my butt off you'd be more inclined to think I'm a Satanist than a Christian...hahaha)
One last thing....I don't feel restrained by Christian beliefs - I don't take the Bible literally....I think a lot of it is metaphorical.....and I also borrow things from other religions....like, I believe in reincarnation and karma (makes sense that we'd live lots of lives and learn everything there is to learn until we attain enlightenment and go to Heaven)....and I believe in evolution as well as creation (methinks God created the first organisms, knowing they'd evolve into humans)....hmmm there's a topic for a new thread!! *LOL*
Sheesh I sure can ramble on...... *firmly turns off the tap that is her mouth*