I'm becoming tired of everybody bugging me.
People always wanting something from me.
People I work with, clients that ring up, my family, people on public transport, my so-called friends who only contact me when they want something.
Communication of any sort has been draining me.
This hasn't happened in a long, long time.
To make it go away, I started taking benzos again.
Probably not the most productive decision, but hey.
I was hoping it would never come to that, not after the withdrawals two years ago.
But this time around, I feel that I'm making more informed, balanced decisions about what I'm putting into my body.
At least, that's what I like to think.
And hope I won't get carried away.
Mum has organised a trip for tomorrow, to go see a family friend.
I like the guy, any other time I would be interested in what he has to say.
But in my present state of mind - I'm not looking forward to hours of pretending like I'm listening. Not fair on him either. He's a nice man.
And the day after - mum (I'm seeing a pattern here) has organised guests.
A couple who wants to make friends with people of the same background.
Mum works with the guy, his wife is the same age as me (late 20's).
In some fantasy world, they decided myself and the other girl will hit it off.
*Sigh*
I feel that I'm being selfish, not wanting to help or listen or be involved.
I'm stressed, I've been working so much and sleeping so little.
I need to be selfish right now, or I'll fall apart.
Either way, that's going to be my weekend, my resting time, haha.