[A 3-part piece.]
Part I.
It's 1:47 a.m. and i just realized that shirt you left for me,
The one tinged with the faded scent of your clean laundry,
The one that is supposed to comfort me in your absence
And help me find sleep on nights like this,
Has finally lost all remnants of that peaceful field-scent.
And tonight, i don't know how to fall asleep without you beside me.
And at 1:52 i'm stilling trying, but the silence that hangs in this room
Is unbearable,
And when my mind wants to dwell on all the things that make my heart ache tonight,
There's nothing to fill the void.
So i think of you... out there...
Wondering if i've entered your thoughts tonight
Or if another page has turned on the calendar blank and empty,
When last year's was filled with scribbled plans jammed into squares,
Hurriedly crossed off dates til the next,
And just... filled with you.
At 2:10 i am still trying to figure out what's different...
But no answers come,
And neither does sleep.
Your voice on the phone once a week doesn't cut it,
And the black-and-white model-perfect picture of you in my book at work
Doesn't do you justice.
I just... need you here.
Without you i'm a pale shadow in a dark alley,
And there's not enough glitter that could make me shine without you.
From the 2:34 hallocin glow of the alarm clock,
I close my eyes and think of you.
Part II.
Something brought me to this place, to you.
Even though the last time my car drove through this city,
I swore never to come back.
But there was something in your voice that pulled me,
Something in me that wanted to be sure you were ok,
And a tiny tiny part of me that just wanted to see you again,
After so long.
The words "things don't always go as planned"
Ringing through my head relentlessly.
And 8 hours later, you're standing on a street corner,
Looking at me in a way you might have looked at me 4 years ago,
When i couldn't bring my eyes to yours to take notice.
I came here to be your comforting shoulder for one day,
And instead, unexpectedly and unknowingly, you did that for me.
What would have been another sleepless night,
Was a day filled with laughing that wasn't forced,
And sleep that was inpenetrable.
There's something priceless about laughing with an old friend,
And the hugs can never last too long...
The memories can never cease to be as precious.
So now when i have nights like those,
The kind where the silence kills me,
I will think of a few short hours i spent in some faraway place,
With a guy who told me i was beautiful
And made me leave it all behind... glowing.
And even though the sound of the train, the sounds of busy people,
The lights of other sleepless people,
has once again faded into a few pieces of prose and a closed journal,
The part of me that was revived,
Is still glowing.
Part III.
Jodi.
There's something about Tuesday nights and a couple shots between us,
While you dance around with your pool cue
And show up the guys
And while i make cute conversation with just about anyone who will listen,
And people's eyes,
Boy and girls alike,
Follow us from room to room.
And then "the girls" show up
And we sit in the corner table showing off new lipgloss,
Talking shit about the guys who break our hearts,
And playing critic on everyone else in the bar.
These are the nights i live for,
Smushed in between 55-hour work weeks and playing catch-up on sleep,
And this is the only thing i will miss,
365 days from now when this whole town is just a smudge in my memory.
We strut confidentally up to the stage as he calls our names, AGAIN,
And with a mike in each of our hands,
We grab the attention of a room full of people
Who either love us, hate us, or want to be us,
And we sing like rockstars,
Giving the old guy drinking a Jack Daniels Manhattan in the front row a wink,
Tossing newly highlighted hair over our bare shoulders,
And for a few hours, a few moments,
We just glow.
Part I.
It's 1:47 a.m. and i just realized that shirt you left for me,
The one tinged with the faded scent of your clean laundry,
The one that is supposed to comfort me in your absence
And help me find sleep on nights like this,
Has finally lost all remnants of that peaceful field-scent.
And tonight, i don't know how to fall asleep without you beside me.
And at 1:52 i'm stilling trying, but the silence that hangs in this room
Is unbearable,
And when my mind wants to dwell on all the things that make my heart ache tonight,
There's nothing to fill the void.
So i think of you... out there...
Wondering if i've entered your thoughts tonight
Or if another page has turned on the calendar blank and empty,
When last year's was filled with scribbled plans jammed into squares,
Hurriedly crossed off dates til the next,
And just... filled with you.
At 2:10 i am still trying to figure out what's different...
But no answers come,
And neither does sleep.
Your voice on the phone once a week doesn't cut it,
And the black-and-white model-perfect picture of you in my book at work
Doesn't do you justice.
I just... need you here.
Without you i'm a pale shadow in a dark alley,
And there's not enough glitter that could make me shine without you.
From the 2:34 hallocin glow of the alarm clock,
I close my eyes and think of you.
Part II.
Something brought me to this place, to you.
Even though the last time my car drove through this city,
I swore never to come back.
But there was something in your voice that pulled me,
Something in me that wanted to be sure you were ok,
And a tiny tiny part of me that just wanted to see you again,
After so long.
The words "things don't always go as planned"
Ringing through my head relentlessly.
And 8 hours later, you're standing on a street corner,
Looking at me in a way you might have looked at me 4 years ago,
When i couldn't bring my eyes to yours to take notice.
I came here to be your comforting shoulder for one day,
And instead, unexpectedly and unknowingly, you did that for me.
What would have been another sleepless night,
Was a day filled with laughing that wasn't forced,
And sleep that was inpenetrable.
There's something priceless about laughing with an old friend,
And the hugs can never last too long...
The memories can never cease to be as precious.
So now when i have nights like those,
The kind where the silence kills me,
I will think of a few short hours i spent in some faraway place,
With a guy who told me i was beautiful
And made me leave it all behind... glowing.
And even though the sound of the train, the sounds of busy people,
The lights of other sleepless people,
has once again faded into a few pieces of prose and a closed journal,
The part of me that was revived,
Is still glowing.
Part III.
Jodi.
There's something about Tuesday nights and a couple shots between us,
While you dance around with your pool cue
And show up the guys
And while i make cute conversation with just about anyone who will listen,
And people's eyes,
Boy and girls alike,
Follow us from room to room.
And then "the girls" show up
And we sit in the corner table showing off new lipgloss,
Talking shit about the guys who break our hearts,
And playing critic on everyone else in the bar.
These are the nights i live for,
Smushed in between 55-hour work weeks and playing catch-up on sleep,
And this is the only thing i will miss,
365 days from now when this whole town is just a smudge in my memory.
We strut confidentally up to the stage as he calls our names, AGAIN,
And with a mike in each of our hands,
We grab the attention of a room full of people
Who either love us, hate us, or want to be us,
And we sing like rockstars,
Giving the old guy drinking a Jack Daniels Manhattan in the front row a wink,
Tossing newly highlighted hair over our bare shoulders,
And for a few hours, a few moments,
We just glow.
