Glad I Found BL 23 yrs ago

[TJ5]

I sure did enjoy my dope when I was on it. I'm glad this harm reduction site is still around. I'm also glad I can look back on my journal entries when I was so fucked up. I'm 10 years clean and life can be so difficult. Still if I were still doing dope, I can only imagine life would be even more taxing than it already is. Mom was a part of my life for 59 years. She just died on the 7th of this month. It's super hard sometimes, but I'm grateful that when I got to work, the company cat ran into my arms. Whoever lived in this house that my company bought 9 years ago moved without taking their cat. I've been at this job for 5 years and I've grown to love this cat. I've always had a strong connection to cats. They are lovable, playful, feisty, and independent. They can spend time with me, but they can also do their own thing for a while. So, I'm glad that I was able to come to work without balling my eyes out with my mom passing away 2 days ago. It's so hard to believe she's gone. It's harder since she was a big part of my life. I'm in the poverty income level until I finish my second degree. This means I don't have the luxury of taking time off work or school either for that matter. I did take one day of school off and that was the day mom died. The water works comes and goes. I make sure I am at home alone in my room if I do start crying. Sometimes I can take my mind off it by watching a good movie on Netflix. Other times, I have to suffer with the pain. It hurts too because my mom's presence is all over that house and I won't be able to afford to live in it because I'm poor. I need a couple more years to earn a livable wage. I'm still waiting for my certification credentials. Everything takes so damn long to get done today. So now I'm kicking back on the company couch with the kitty.