I feel as if I'm in a horrible spot right now. I got back from rehab about 2 1/2 weeks ago, and since then I've felt absolutely miserable. There's this girl I had a history with, and all thru my stay she would take my calls and write me. She went on about how much she missed me, and how she cared. Less than 2 weeks after I get back, she runs off after some other guy. Now she says she doesn't want to be friends. Maybe it's dumb, but I really just don't feel like I give a shit about my life anymore. The only time I feel somewhat happy now is when I use. As immature as it is, I want to fuck my life up and OD so I can get back at her. She claims everything is going good for her, and she doesn't want me around to screw things up. This just makes me want to use and be hopeless even more. I've never had much luck with the opposite sex, in fact this girl is the first person I ever met where feelings of attraction were mutual. I don't think I'm ever going to meet anyone, I have no self confidence whatsoever, and I pray every day that something will end my life, of course to no avail, giving me even more of a reason to not believe in fate
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Giving up on life
- Thread starter evilthree
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Albion
Bluelight Crew
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I've been feeling the same recently...same relationship problem, different girl (presumably). And it's fuelling my interest in drugs and my desire to get fucked and forget it all for a while, and more importantly it's causing me to care less about the negative effects, and just throw caution to the wind and take more in one session, push the boat a little bit further, because I'm starting to feel that if something terrible happened to me, I could forget it all permanently.
Thank god that I have no serious connections to dealers/suppliers of any substance besides alcohol because I know I would fall hard and fast. I'm aware of it, obviously, and I know I can't trust myself. Just have to wait and see whether I grow out of this mindset or whether it's the death of me.
If you have the will, cut your connections to drugs and stay off them until you feel better. Go for a holiday. Visit your parents. Just occupy yourself with a change of scenery, or surround yourself with friends and family. I find that helps me to no end
Thank god that I have no serious connections to dealers/suppliers of any substance besides alcohol because I know I would fall hard and fast. I'm aware of it, obviously, and I know I can't trust myself. Just have to wait and see whether I grow out of this mindset or whether it's the death of me.
If you have the will, cut your connections to drugs and stay off them until you feel better. Go for a holiday. Visit your parents. Just occupy yourself with a change of scenery, or surround yourself with friends and family. I find that helps me to no end
BearLeeLive
Bluelighter
trust in fate i lost a girl a year ago. came home from treatment and nobody would let me see her. a year later im looking at her on myspace thinking Dose her evean care that im in pain
the next day i went into de tox and there she was thats fate if you dont mind me asking how old are you? when i was younger i felt just like u do now.trust me, you will meeet the girl of you dreams. all u need is a salt grain of fathe.you right about it being immature and ruin your life over this.(but i have felt the same in the past) if she doent want to be you frend hurting you self will likely push her further if i up set u more in honistly sorry u can shot me a pm if u want and ill share some of my own simaler situations good luck and keep you head up bro
listen to the kid abouve me i totaly agree
the next day i went into de tox and there she was thats fate if you dont mind me asking how old are you? when i was younger i felt just like u do now.trust me, you will meeet the girl of you dreams. all u need is a salt grain of fathe.you right about it being immature and ruin your life over this.(but i have felt the same in the past) if she doent want to be you frend hurting you self will likely push her further if i up set u more in honistly sorry u can shot me a pm if u want and ill share some of my own simaler situations good luck and keep you head up bro
listen to the kid abouve me i totaly agree
graugeist
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Dec 9, 2009
- Messages
- 156
How are you going to "get back at" this girl by killing yourself or fucking your life up. She doesn't give a damn about you now. What would possibly make her change her mind? If you take this chance to change your lifestyle and your approach to life in order to improve your situation and secure a good future for yourself that would be "getting back" at her. Living well is the best revenge in this sort of situation. There will be other women. Why would you possibly want to stay with this girl when she flaked out on you like this and now wants nothing to do with you?
Use this time to make better choices and rebuild your life. This girl isn't worth it. Don't wind up screwing things up for yourself again. These terrible feelings, the anger, the confusion, are just feelings and these feelings will pass in time. It might be a while before things get better, but don't throw your future away because of something stupid like this.
Once you start improving your life you will meet women who actually really care about you. You will feel better about yourself even while you are single if you start living right now while you have the chance. She seriously isn't worth it, man. Start working on yourself. You'll develop faith and confidence in yourself once you start working hard to do everything you can right now for you. Don't worry about women. Worry about you.
Believe it or not, a lot of people told me similar things a long time ago. It took me a while to learn that they were telling me the truth. I started to focus on myself and after a while things really started coming together for me. It's going to suck for a while, but one day you'll wake up and you'll notice that things are different, that things are better. If you start to fuck things up again you won't have a chance to find out what you can make of yourself. If you throw everything away again you might not get another chance to find out how good you could have it. Time heals. It sucks because it can take a long time, but all of this is going to pass and you won't worry about it one day in the future. I promise you that. You don't deserve a girl like this. You deserve better than this. Whatever you do, don't stop trying to improve your life. Even if you fail, just get back up and keep trying. It worked for me. I'm still a work in progress, but looking back I've come a very long way once I started to focus on rebuilding myself. If I can do it you can do it. Hang in there.
Use this time to make better choices and rebuild your life. This girl isn't worth it. Don't wind up screwing things up for yourself again. These terrible feelings, the anger, the confusion, are just feelings and these feelings will pass in time. It might be a while before things get better, but don't throw your future away because of something stupid like this.
Once you start improving your life you will meet women who actually really care about you. You will feel better about yourself even while you are single if you start living right now while you have the chance. She seriously isn't worth it, man. Start working on yourself. You'll develop faith and confidence in yourself once you start working hard to do everything you can right now for you. Don't worry about women. Worry about you.
Believe it or not, a lot of people told me similar things a long time ago. It took me a while to learn that they were telling me the truth. I started to focus on myself and after a while things really started coming together for me. It's going to suck for a while, but one day you'll wake up and you'll notice that things are different, that things are better. If you start to fuck things up again you won't have a chance to find out what you can make of yourself. If you throw everything away again you might not get another chance to find out how good you could have it. Time heals. It sucks because it can take a long time, but all of this is going to pass and you won't worry about it one day in the future. I promise you that. You don't deserve a girl like this. You deserve better than this. Whatever you do, don't stop trying to improve your life. Even if you fail, just get back up and keep trying. It worked for me. I'm still a work in progress, but looking back I've come a very long way once I started to focus on rebuilding myself. If I can do it you can do it. Hang in there.
versd
Bluelight Crew
- Joined
- Jun 30, 2009
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- 1,055
i understand the feelings of hopelessness and despair. the feeling that you should just end it all to make a statement, to show how much it all meant to you.
its not going to be easy to move on. its been coming up to a year for me and im still in the same place i was. went down all those dark paths to find some way of coping, dealing, but infact it was all escape. and i cant run much longer.
the important thing to see here is that if you do let it go, give up, and go down the path of drugs, addiction, negative things like that, it will only serve to make things worse and make you feel worse about the whole situation. you can only run for so long before it all catches up to you.
the only chance you have at something better is to make positive changes. its difficult definitely, try take some advice and avoid going down the negative path. some say that you have to make mistakes before you learn for yourself. when you feel like life is not worth living, and you throw yourself down that path - its a steep hill, and one that its rare to climb out of.
its not going to be easy to move on. its been coming up to a year for me and im still in the same place i was. went down all those dark paths to find some way of coping, dealing, but infact it was all escape. and i cant run much longer.
the important thing to see here is that if you do let it go, give up, and go down the path of drugs, addiction, negative things like that, it will only serve to make things worse and make you feel worse about the whole situation. you can only run for so long before it all catches up to you.
the only chance you have at something better is to make positive changes. its difficult definitely, try take some advice and avoid going down the negative path. some say that you have to make mistakes before you learn for yourself. when you feel like life is not worth living, and you throw yourself down that path - its a steep hill, and one that its rare to climb out of.
I think what makes it hardest is I know she isn't over me. She heard I was going to OD the other day, and called me and my mom to try and stop me. She claims she's one of the only people who cares, yet she tells me we can't be friends because I am apparently manipulative and untrustworthy, despite her having raped my trust in the past. I don't think she's over me, but yet she needs to try and move on to other guys. Just thinking about this gets my blood boiling. I can't stand the powerlessness of it all, especially since I have no girls I can get back at her with. Again, this is somewhat juvenile, but I feel like complete and utter shit and I just want an outlet to get back, make her feel as crappy as I do
8ft-Sativa
Bluelighter
Alot of us have been there .... and later on in life you look back and thank god you didn't take your life.
Suicide ... a quick soloution for a temporary problem.
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger ..... you will come out of this bullshit a stronger person.
Suicide ... a quick soloution for a temporary problem.
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger ..... you will come out of this bullshit a stronger person.
Albion
Bluelight Crew
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- Mar 7, 2010
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- 11,066
Draigan
Ex-Bluelighter
Bro all I can say is this. I have been into the fiery depths of hell. I was completely hopeless. Completely. I was prepared to die in the next couple of years. I lived like that. Now my life is pretty sweet. My attitude changed. Everything is possible. If you want to not be ina shitty situation, you have to change it. Its hard as fuck. Time is a funny thing though. Before you know it, its over, and your happy again. Bye
Man, don't kill yourself or OD just because some girl doesnt wanna go out with you... if she's gonna play you and run away with some other guy what makes you think she likes you as much as you like her? You need to find love within yourself and then find someone who will truly love you back.
Sweet P
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Mar 25, 2009
- Messages
- 5,243
Don't kill yourself or go back to using because of somebody else. That's a shitty excuse, and I'm sure you know it deep inside. Trust me, I know how hard it is - I've had similar experiences with partners who no longer wanted me around. It sucks, but eventually you'll move on and forget about them.
toolfan420
Bluelighter
Bro all I can say is this. I have been into the fiery depths of hell. I was completely hopeless. Completely. I was prepared to die in the next couple of years. I lived like that. Now my life is pretty sweet. My attitude changed. Everything is possible. If you want to not be ina shitty situation, you have to change it. Its hard as fuck. Time is a funny thing though. Before you know it, its over, and your happy again. Bye
Couldn't have said it better man.
hyroller
Bluelighter
I think the girl pities you more than anything else, with an attitude like that.
Killing yourself over something juvenile and somewhat inevitable like a failed relationship is such a cop-out, it isn't even funny.
It's also emotional blackmail, so no wonder she doesn't want someone like you around....(!)
With an addiction such as yours, how did you ever expect to have something to offer another person anyway? This is what blows my mind - people with fully blown addictions, getting into relationships before they even learn to give a flying shit about themselves... and deluding themselves to the point that the relationship will last...
Sort your shit out, stop trying to guilt trip people, and maybe you'll earn the respect of those around you - including her. I'm sure if she 'heard' you'd gotten a great-paying job, bought a new car, and moved out of home - she'd be interested to see how you were! Focus on getting positive attention, not negative attention 8)
And as callous and unsympathetic as this all sounds, I think you'll be hard-pressed to find any untruths....
Killing yourself over something juvenile and somewhat inevitable like a failed relationship is such a cop-out, it isn't even funny.
It's also emotional blackmail, so no wonder she doesn't want someone like you around....(!)
With an addiction such as yours, how did you ever expect to have something to offer another person anyway? This is what blows my mind - people with fully blown addictions, getting into relationships before they even learn to give a flying shit about themselves... and deluding themselves to the point that the relationship will last...
Sort your shit out, stop trying to guilt trip people, and maybe you'll earn the respect of those around you - including her. I'm sure if she 'heard' you'd gotten a great-paying job, bought a new car, and moved out of home - she'd be interested to see how you were! Focus on getting positive attention, not negative attention 8)
And as callous and unsympathetic as this all sounds, I think you'll be hard-pressed to find any untruths....
izzy66
Bluelighter
there's no benefit in spending the present in the past. focus on right now and what you want for the future. speculating on whether she is or isn't over you is pointless. leave the past in the past and move on.
best of luck to you.
-izzy
best of luck to you.
-izzy
seducedsoul
Bluelighter
Everyone said great things.
And along the lines of something Graugist said of which i agree with, and not to be mean....
but if you off'd yourself to "get back at her" make her actually think about you and regret not being with you....
you WOULD be proving something to her
In the end after all would be said and done you would be making her relieved and more confident in her choice to stay away from someone so unstable as you.
I know that sounds awful, but frankly so does your "revenge"
And I only say all that because it's said that you think life is worth losing over a girl.. I don't care WHO OR WHAT...I DON'T CARE IF IT'S YOUR MOTHER OR WIFE.... you should never have to give up your life in order to prove a damn thing to anyone. =) You deserve better.
And along the lines of something Graugist said of which i agree with, and not to be mean....
but if you off'd yourself to "get back at her" make her actually think about you and regret not being with you....
you WOULD be proving something to her
In the end after all would be said and done you would be making her relieved and more confident in her choice to stay away from someone so unstable as you.
I know that sounds awful, but frankly so does your "revenge"
And I only say all that because it's said that you think life is worth losing over a girl.. I don't care WHO OR WHAT...I DON'T CARE IF IT'S YOUR MOTHER OR WIFE.... you should never have to give up your life in order to prove a damn thing to anyone. =) You deserve better.
