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Giving up Crack after 10 years .

brimz

brimz

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Joined
Jul 6, 2010
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Yeah thats what it is .
Time has come i feel ready . Not like rock bottom though, no just like a more worn out with it, getting old guilt type thing i'm sure some of my post 30 crew haha :D

No this is a serious thread & i would appreciate the knowledge & wisdom of my fellow Bl. Dark Siders where ever you may be .
 
Good for you!! :) <3 Do you have a plan and support network to help you with your recovery?
 
Hey Brimz. This is awesome news.
I'm genuinely glad to be reading this.

You know nothing good ever comes from smoking crack or shooting blow, and you gotta say goodbye to it one day.
I don't think you're much older than me, even I noticed chest pains the last time I used.

And we all know about the cocaine epidemic causing a mass of heart attacks amongst men in their 30s.
You're too valuable to be one of them Brimz.

Just don't try too hard.
To say cocaine (smoked or shot up) is the most addictive drug on the planet is an understatement.

You've done well to come this far. Chill with a spliff and do anything & everything that isn't cocaine. %)
 
Brimz, wow, good for you for making that decision. Although it seems like you managed your functionality alright, this will definitely be a significantly healthy change for you. It sounds like you have a pretty good head on you considering your age, your use, and your motivation to quit.

How are you doing so far? Are you a regular smoker, daily, weekly, what-have you? Have you cut back any so far or do you have sober time under your belt already?
 
the only way i could kick the base was when i got thrown into a few nut huts and then when i got out i instantly smoked cannabis and quickly replaced that with opioid/opiates and now i shoot almost every day
 
Yeah so this is going to be very difficult .
I will have to change my phone no. & delete some others from memory . Day at a time obviously will be the basics . Some days will be simple no £ no crack .
It's another story when i've got a few £. I have an Heroin & methadone problem as well but this Crack foolishness is the one that has to go 1st.
Thanx for the support so far i shall keep updated on this battle.
 
^It sounds like you're going about it the right way. Cutting yourself off from people is difficult, but it's what needs to happen. I had to do the same when I gave up meth.

And yes, definitely let us know how things are going for you. I wish you the best <3
 
As anyone that has gone on the Pipe or the Speedballs will know it eats money . I'm sure plenty of you have tales of spending untold £$ on binges .
I have to focus on something that i really want . Easier said than done cos after over 15 years of hard drug abuse material things mean very little.
Another one is - Go on holiday . Yeah sounds good but it's still maybe not the best idea . I have a history of going to foreign countries & straight away finding a Drug Connect & then my mind will say " It's ok your on holiday :| "
 
take some time to yourself to meditate and talk at AA/NA meetings with the people there before and after the meetings and try to find out why you feel the need to be high so often that's the only shit that helped me get sober just i always relapse so maybe i'm not the best dude to listen too
 
brimz, could you possibly go on holiday with someone that is supportive of you through your recovery? I know going alone might be ideal for you, but if the temptation to score drugs as soon as you get there is too much that might be a good idea.
 
Its that special time when you wake the hell up and think... Screw this shit. I got sick of it running my entire life. Everything revolved around it. Fiendish people did my head in once too many times and I just got the hell over it. It took another year of inner turmoil and guilt before I got the courage to live true to myself but it just kinda ended up happening... I control it now. I do it once every 3-4 weeks when I have cash and I do it on my own terms and I enjoy it as well as other normal reality-type activities that other living people regularly participate in - like walking the dog and going to bed early.

Life is very different and it takes some adjusting and dont put any form of time limit on it, just go with your gut
 
This is something else ain't like being dopesick fuk ben their a thousand times +. I just got awhiff of a Speedball ( Crack N Heroin Injected ) & my heart rate must have jumped like a mofo .
As i mentioned earlier my drug habit is deep . I started on he recy. drugs @13ish & was taking opiates @ 17 addicted & on a Methadone script by 20/1 then started using crack as well a few years later .

Theirs much healing that has to be done .
ATM i'm thinking yeah i can get £40 for pawning my netbook( not this one ) but still thats how it is .
I fukin hate it . I 've drank 4 cans of 7.5 % cider already today .
ME = Should know better .

Cheers for the N.A Stuff but i done been their & certainly not ready to go back yet

FUk , FUk FUK
 
<3 brimz <3

How long has it been? Sending positive vibes to you You are doing wonderful so far. You need to get a day or two under your belt.
 
I fuked up went & got me a B&W £40.
Don't feel bad about it YET It's gonna kick my ass in the morning that's 4 sure. This is some habit i have we are chatting a decade & then some. That just be the W.

The opiates go back nearly 20 ....
Most peeps are doing long sentances , R.I.P or have had at least 1 amputation . Fuk my best mate who i known since 11 he do walk with a cane .
Fuk , Fuk , FUk

Right so that will be the last score until my next cheque & that will be 6 days .. What i need to do is use these 6 days so that when i get paid iwon't just go straight up n score .

Can any of u relate ?
When i hit day 7 & that cash ££ is in my hand usually i'll go straight n score i mean fuk , i've just done 6 days clean i deserve it yeah ? ( Sarcasm )

I'm so deep in this denial it's not like i don't know the outcome yet still i do it - "Insane" as they say in the N.A text.
I know this & even understand it but still ....

This thread has done me some good cos i need to put this stuff out their . If only to re read it myself !!

NO i don't & my body doesn't either or my wallet , friends , family .
 
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Hey man, its great thaat you've come to this point in your addiction at last. It can be a turning point. But you have to put in the effort.

You need to keep in mind all the reasons why you want to stop. Write them down. Every day. More and more will come. This will help you resist the urge to batch once you get your check.

It feels unsurmountable now, man, I know. You may score when you get your check but know this: all you have learned, all those small steps forward are not lost.

You are constantly evolving as an individual. That is equally true for negative as well as positive changes.

Keep at it. We know you can do it and are here for you.
 
Just wanna say this thread has been really inspirational to me as I struggle with my own recovery. If you can do this after ten years I have no excuses. I admire you brimz, hang until there.
 
Venrak said:
Hey man, its great thaat you've come to this point in your addiction at last. It can be a turning point. But you have to put in the effort.

You need to keep in mind all the reasons why you want to stop. Write them down. Every day. More and more will come. This will help you resist the urge to batch once you get your check.

It feels unsurmountable now, man, I know. You may score when you get your check but know this: all you have learned, all those small steps forward are not lost.

You are constantly evolving as an individual. That is equally true for negative as well as positive changes.

Keep at it. We know you can do it and are here for you.
Click to expand...

Nah it's so important that i don't score on cheque day . That would be something to hold on to & i need that.

I really hope i can come back to this thread on monday being able to say " i got paid but didn't go & score " Cos when i do it will be the 1st time in about 15 years .
 
Good luck man. Never done crack... but all i gotta say is you gotta quit rationalizing and justifying shit. Once you've been clean for a few days you can't blame it on anyone else but yourself. That's ultimately you that is going back to score. Your gunna do what your gunna do... but if you wanna quit than drop the act and quit finding excuses to get high. Harsh maybe. But sooner or later your gunna see the big picture in life and getting high isn't the answer. Doesn't solve shit but make everything worse. I wish you the best. It's an everyday battle. Once you get over the hump it turns into a cake walk though. Anyone can do it. Just gotta have a little will power and self control which is hard the first few weeks. That's why you hold on for dear life and take it minute by minute. You can do it man! I have faith in anyone who takes that first step and realizes that they have been beaten. and if your worried about scoring when you get your check hand that shit off to somebody you trust and know wont fuck you over or give in to your bullshit. Then you will be set!
 
Brimz, it's good that you have the desire to stop. I've seen too many people whose cravings just take over and logic flies out the window. My sister has been using cocaine for more than 20 years. Started out snorting and then it messed up her nose. Then crack completely ruined her life. She had a great career as a nurse, lost that and her licensure. Lost a great husband and beautiful home. Now she's living in a shithole in a Miami ghetto surrounded by junkie friends and prostituting herself because she blows through her monthly check within a week. She told me she doesn't even get high from crack and now injects cocaine. I hadn't seen her in nearly three years and my friend drove me down there to see her. It broke my heart to see all the needle marks in her arms and legs. She is my only sister (4 years younger than me) She looked so sickly and old, that's how much it's aged her.

My best advice for you is to find a support group because this is so hard to do on your own. Like the poster above mentioned, when you get paid let a family member or trusted friend hold your money. That cash in your pocket is going to be too tempting. You can do this! Wish you the best, Theresa
 
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