Well, first off, I didn't go back to London, I'm not in Australia or New Zealand. I stayed in Poland and started studying again. Like previously wrote, I joined the first year during the second semester so I've got to pass exams from the first semester. It doesn't look that good...
My IELTS Academic certificate solved English classes for the whole first year. But there's still Mathematical Analysis, Physics, Ethics, and Basic Programming (well, generally it was programming in Pascal... the hell I know about programming?! and now I have to program in C language so it's pretty hard when you can't program in an even easier programming language like Pascal). I had Mathematical Analysis (functions, derivatives, various integrals, differential equations...) and Physics at the Faculty of Chemistry at my previous university. But to be honest I didn't like either so I forgot a lot.
Anyway, there's quite a lot of Ukrainians studying with me. My current university recruits in Ukraine and it seems a good deal for both sides. It's quite funny how young all these girls and guys are. Most of them aren't even of age... I don't know if I ever mentioned it somewhere but Ukrainian girls are very pretty. Anyway, I can't socialize fast (especially now when I'm tapering off clonazepam and staying at the lowest dose of methadone possible), so I might look shy at the beginning (for smart ones) or conceited (for the others...). Now that some time passed, I don't have that much trouble talking to people. I used to learn Ukrainian so it seems I get along with the Ukrainians (although they speak some mixture of Ukrainian and Russian so when they talk in a group, they speak fast and I don't understand them that good).
To the point... I was asked for help by one girl, later it was revealed her friend also needs help with the same thing. One girl seems more extroverted and the other more calm, placid, a bit shy... The extroverted one looked and smiled at me coquettishly (for the reasons she knows). Yesterday I visited them in the student hostel they live. The kind of help they needed involved work on their notebooks. Two other girls I met a few days back at a club visited them during my presence (normal thing in student hostels, they seem to be good friends). At some point the extroverted one left the room and went playing cards somewhere and I stayed with the calm one, she studied for the test.
I thought that something was cooking. She left with no explanation (I'm not an idiot, I can show someone how to do something but I don't do anyone's work, I know when someone attempts to manipulate me) and I see several reasons. (1) That's her temperament (e.g. likes clubbing, has no problem talking to people), maybe lacks some kind of... tact? (2) It might be she did it on purpose leaving me with her friend (rather not, the girl who stayed in the room didn't seem tense, just not much saying - well, she was studying or pretending to study - she was shy at most). (3) She might have wanted to simply use me.
Knowing I'm in the middle of nowhere (it used to be a large industrial area, good plants, well known in Europe making quality products), I decided to show the girl who stayed with me how to do everything she needed help with and told her to pass the information to her room mate. She wanted to walk me to the bus stop but it was past 10 PM so I didn't want her to come back alone.
Time will tell. But I really thought they like me. And I don't mean that I was hoping one of them had fallen for me or something (two other Ukrainians visited them in a room while I was there). I simply counted on that I could make friends (I mean real friends, not just acquaintances). I shall see. They're all 17 (will turn 18 this year), that's because of the different education system in Ukraine). I'm 22, that's quite a big difference. 3 years is nothing when one person is 39 and the other is 36 but in this situation it makes a difference but they definitely seem more mature than most Polish girls are at 17 which is really interesting...
That's one thing. The other one is you can feel spring in the air. I should feel better etc. Instead I've got so angry earlier today and I longed for a shot of morphine or something strong like I never did during a quite long episode just on methadone... I guess it's my BPD problem screwing with me. I was depressed during the whole winter, now I'm like switching from depressive to manic and manic to depressive a few times a day. The phases are shorter and shorter and it drives me crazy because it's harder to control myself.
My IELTS Academic certificate solved English classes for the whole first year. But there's still Mathematical Analysis, Physics, Ethics, and Basic Programming (well, generally it was programming in Pascal... the hell I know about programming?! and now I have to program in C language so it's pretty hard when you can't program in an even easier programming language like Pascal). I had Mathematical Analysis (functions, derivatives, various integrals, differential equations...) and Physics at the Faculty of Chemistry at my previous university. But to be honest I didn't like either so I forgot a lot.
Anyway, there's quite a lot of Ukrainians studying with me. My current university recruits in Ukraine and it seems a good deal for both sides. It's quite funny how young all these girls and guys are. Most of them aren't even of age... I don't know if I ever mentioned it somewhere but Ukrainian girls are very pretty. Anyway, I can't socialize fast (especially now when I'm tapering off clonazepam and staying at the lowest dose of methadone possible), so I might look shy at the beginning (for smart ones) or conceited (for the others...). Now that some time passed, I don't have that much trouble talking to people. I used to learn Ukrainian so it seems I get along with the Ukrainians (although they speak some mixture of Ukrainian and Russian so when they talk in a group, they speak fast and I don't understand them that good).
To the point... I was asked for help by one girl, later it was revealed her friend also needs help with the same thing. One girl seems more extroverted and the other more calm, placid, a bit shy... The extroverted one looked and smiled at me coquettishly (for the reasons she knows). Yesterday I visited them in the student hostel they live. The kind of help they needed involved work on their notebooks. Two other girls I met a few days back at a club visited them during my presence (normal thing in student hostels, they seem to be good friends). At some point the extroverted one left the room and went playing cards somewhere and I stayed with the calm one, she studied for the test.
I thought that something was cooking. She left with no explanation (I'm not an idiot, I can show someone how to do something but I don't do anyone's work, I know when someone attempts to manipulate me) and I see several reasons. (1) That's her temperament (e.g. likes clubbing, has no problem talking to people), maybe lacks some kind of... tact? (2) It might be she did it on purpose leaving me with her friend (rather not, the girl who stayed in the room didn't seem tense, just not much saying - well, she was studying or pretending to study - she was shy at most). (3) She might have wanted to simply use me.
Knowing I'm in the middle of nowhere (it used to be a large industrial area, good plants, well known in Europe making quality products), I decided to show the girl who stayed with me how to do everything she needed help with and told her to pass the information to her room mate. She wanted to walk me to the bus stop but it was past 10 PM so I didn't want her to come back alone.
Time will tell. But I really thought they like me. And I don't mean that I was hoping one of them had fallen for me or something (two other Ukrainians visited them in a room while I was there). I simply counted on that I could make friends (I mean real friends, not just acquaintances). I shall see. They're all 17 (will turn 18 this year), that's because of the different education system in Ukraine). I'm 22, that's quite a big difference. 3 years is nothing when one person is 39 and the other is 36 but in this situation it makes a difference but they definitely seem more mature than most Polish girls are at 17 which is really interesting...
That's one thing. The other one is you can feel spring in the air. I should feel better etc. Instead I've got so angry earlier today and I longed for a shot of morphine or something strong like I never did during a quite long episode just on methadone... I guess it's my BPD problem screwing with me. I was depressed during the whole winter, now I'm like switching from depressive to manic and manic to depressive a few times a day. The phases are shorter and shorter and it drives me crazy because it's harder to control myself.