Girlfriend forced to work for her mother

[melvin's army]

i think you should leave her kid with her parents, and take her to your basement to be chained to the wall as as sex slave. or let her be an adult and make her own life choices, even if that means she works in the family business to take care of her family.

Hey man, if your so phoned you crying for answers to what seems to be a fairly big problem in her life, would you try to help or just tell her shes on her own? How does me wanting to get her out of what she tells me is a shitty life situation somehow controlling or abusive??

 

[Pagey]

Yeah the whole thing sounds quite confused...I honestly don't think there's much you can do to help her unless she figures out what it is she wants exactly and unless she decides to really help herself. As I said, be there for support and stuff, but until she decides to make the leap and move out, that might be the extent to which you can help her

 

[morpher001]

I'm not exactly sure how to help. She's 21, and has a 3 year old son. She lives with her parents and works in her mother's restaurant tirelessly for nothing but food and a roof over her head. She has a car, but it is registered to her father. The last time she tried to leave, her father reported it stolen. I keep trying to offer her a place to live and have even offered to buy her a cheap used car, but she seems to have too much pride to take anything from me that would benefit her, likely because she is worried she would just become a slave to someone else, seeing that she then would 'owe me.' Ive tried telling her that I would never put her in that same position. She's worried that she won't be able to find a job or a daycare spot close to where I am. Right now, she can't afford to get a car and pay rent anywhere and feels completely stuck with her situation. Ive told her that she is always welcome to stay at my house, but I wonder if she's a little afraid of that idea; we've only been going out for 3 months or so.

She called me in complete distress today after her mother bitched her out, and I tried to talk her through it and that things will get better, but she is in such a low state that she doesn't really see any light at the end of the tunnel right now. I couldn't even drive to pick her up because I am on call with only a work vehicle and I'm not really supposed to leave the area I cover (she lives approx 45 minutes away).

Any suggestions? I hate seeing her trapped in a situation she feels she cannot get out of. She sees finding a new job, new house, new daycare, and the lack of transportation as an insurmountable feat. I want to help her as much as I can, but I just don't know if she's ready to let me help.

I could be wrong, but all this sounds like total bullshit and you are about to be taken for a ride.

 

[scureto1]

I guarantee you she's not a slave to her parents. She's 21 not 16.

I think you might be confusing your own experience with growing up and maturity with everyone else's. There are plenty of 21 year olds who are still totallly under their parents' thumbs, either because they feel that circumstances give them no other choice or because they've been so brainwashed that they believe that this is normal.

 

[Lysis]

That's their choice. They are 21 not 16.

 

[morpher001]

^ I also doubt her 3 year old son is a result of her tyranical parents overbearing control.

 

[Ligaturd]

If you want to help her, get her a cheap car and tell her she can pay you back when she can. Help her get a place to stay or figure out a rent agreement to stay with you if she feels more comfortable that way and tell her to line up a new job to work secretly before she moves out so that everything can go seamlessly. If she doesn't agree to this than there is something else going on.

I must admit that her situation sounds weird the way that it is but if you want to help her and are confident that that she is being honest about everything then I don't see how this option wouldn't be really really attractive to her. She get's some help starting a new life and she can pay you back in full if it makes her feel better. If the situation is exactly how it sounds then this seams like the only option for her aside from welfare which would go against her ideals completely. Good luck.