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Mental Health Girl - troubled feelings

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GregSmith20

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Joined
Sep 30, 2015
Messages
44
I took some LSA recently which seems to have reactivated some troubled feelings about a girl from years ago. I need help dealing with it again. I made it worse and bothered her with phone calls and jibberish texts. I thought it would make me feel better to bother her. And I thought it might help me get over the situation. I thought I might get a response.

I was weird with the drug and thought everything was random chance and funny??
Don't know mixed intentions but now getting upset and my mind is starting to get in a bad cycle..

Im not so far gone that I can't reason this but I need to make it better. Maybe some other people can help subside the cycle for me.
Went to AA to talk about it some

I want to change this thought.
I think it's possible but.. don't want to admit that it's unlikely.
 
Not relevant to your scenario but "similar situation:" Yeah, I had an ex who I was with in college, she didn't drink or do drugs or anything (as for the lifestyle I was living at the time -- LOL.) I called her on the tail end of an LSD trip and was talking some kind of mystical bullshit. I think she thought I had joined a cult or something. I did wind up going to coffee with her though and met her new boyfriend who seemed like a pretty decent guy which was good to know. I don't believe I ever saw her again. But it was cool I guess.

Relevant: As far as ruminating on thought loops from past trips or one's own cringe-inducing behavior under the influence of drugs (or even booze, manic episodes, whatever), if possible it would help to reach out to those involved, but sometimes that doesn't work and the bridges are burned. Talking about it with others might help but might just cause you to ruminate about it more and spin out endless possibilities in your head. This is very difficult advice to heed but try to stop thinking about it, focus on other things, activities. Stop doing drugs. "Time heals all wounds," I guess as they say. But seeing someone might not be a bad idea. AA is unlikely to help. CBT would probably be the preferred modality to address this issue.
 
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About AA.. Alcohol was involved years ago which made things bad.

Yeah it would be very difficult to talk to her at this point.. I mean we weren't on speaking terms already.

I got over it kinda(before this) but I felt like it was holding me back some.

I think I'll be able to deal with this but I'm having some doubts about whether my method was helpful..

And yeah I've been in therapy for awhile.
I guess I'd like to have a better handle on this than just kind of feeling resigned to life.
 
I think you need to try and put this into perspective. You basically got in touch with an ex while intoxicated. That's it.

Think about the amount of folk that drunk text an ex every Saturday night? Fair enough, you weren't drunk but were in the midst of an LSA trip; therefore, you might be over analysing it more than you actually should.

I mean come on, this was a girl from years ago - you have probably moved on more than you think right now. Basically, worse case scenario is you made a bit of a tit of yourself, but who hasn't?

Take it easy man.
 
MUSHET said:
I think you need to try and put this into perspective. You basically got in touch with an ex while intoxicated. That's it.

Think about the amount of folk that drunk text an ex every Saturday night? Fair enough, you weren't drunk but were in the midst of an LSA trip; therefore, you might be over analysing it more than you actually should.

I mean come on, this was a girl from years ago - you have probably moved on more than you think right now. Basically, worse case scenario is you made a bit of a tit of yourself, but who hasn't?

Take it easy man.
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Of course, this, but I think the excessive rumination rather than the specific content is the problem here and what OP needs help with.
 
You're making too much of it and need to lighten up on yourself, you did something foolish while you were Under The Influence of an extremely powerful Intoxicant, nothing more nothing less..
I wouldn't recommend the continued use of a drug that makes you do stupid things like texting your ex or whatever..
You could do something that you could seriously regret..
As Huey Lewis once said, "I want a new drug"..
 
The biggest loss would be that she would never talk to me again I guess.
I thought it might give me some peace to hear from her at some point.

If I had other girls to focus on that gave me what I was I was looking for I might not mind but that's not easy for me to do.
 
You have a self defeating attitude greg. I would highly suggest working on building up your confidence. Remember, women want to talk to you, and have you talk to them, just as much as you do. Women also experience the same social fears, and whatnot that you do. Just remember, don't be scared and act crazy.
 
No I never really picked up girls which is probably why this instance was so difficult. I felt like she kind of came to me. I mean she smiled at me when I was probablly looking alone..I talked to her and she just started approaching me after that.

I had some other girls show interest afterwards but I guess I didn't allow myself to start new or just didn't pursue it enough.
I think I hold back sometimes out of fear
And other times I need a push for me to to pursue.

Edit: I just couldn't seem to open up to any new girls after that. I mean some showed interest but I couldn't move on I guess. Sometimes I'd get a girl who'd show interest but I wasn't really feeling it or was unsure about it I suppose. I feel pretty lame saying I hold back out of fear. I don't know what it is.

Mostly uncertainty I thin
 
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I agree with mushet. The only way to beat this is by asking a girl out. This doesn't mean you are going to spend your life with them, it just means you want to take her out for coffee, or a drink. Go someplace public and meet her there. If it goes well ask for another date...if it doesn't just friendzone her. If it doesn't work ask another girl out. Dates are fun, it is fun to get to know people. Once you associate dating with fun, it will be easier to beat the self defeating attitude.

Also if the girl you were talking about in the beginning doesn't want to date you then don't just be friends, and if you can't just be friends then move on.
 
GregSmith20 said:
I just have a hard time being social and fun.
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You probably come across better and more fun that you give yourself credit for, you more than likely walk away from situations focussing on the negatives and thinking the worst rather than seeing the positives of whatever social interaction you are in. Trust me, I've done this myself and still do on occasions, plus I've seen the same thing happen with other folk.

I bet you go a whole night sometimes with everything running smoothly, then right at the end there is some kind of social faux pas, like you shake someone's hand with your left hand, then walk alway thinking you came across as some kind of blundering philistine that shouldn't be allowed out in public, a true stain on society and the other person is probably laughing and telling the story to all of their friends for years to come (a far fetched example I know). I do assure you that this is not the case, nobody really cares.

The more dating you do the more it will become easier, don't see it as a chore even though you don't find it easy. However, I gaurnetee you it will become easier, especially if you hit it off with someone, then it just flows and you'll think back and wonder what the hell you were even worried about.
 
This girl I was talking about:
I got in this manic kind of depressed phase because of her. She didn't say she never wanted to talk to me again though after I scared her. See something happened when I blacked out so it wasn't really my choice to do what happened. Since she was so nice about it I felt like there was a small bit of hope where she would talk to me again. I think she did contact me anonymously a few times but nothing came of it. The one time the message said "its okay i forgave you" but i wasnt open to communicating that way.
.
So now there isn't really that chance and this time I knew what I was doing as in I wasn't blacked out.
So I just feel like I could have stayed on a lighter path in dealing with this but I wanted to take more control over it and I guess that just made it worse.
 
GregSmith20 said:
I might just have to settle for the slow getting to know you route.
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I don't see that as "settling". Settling implies something inferior and getting to know someone over time, allowing a genuine connection to take place etc is hardly inferior to a nervous selling of the superficial self to a stranger. Now I realize that my language makes it sound like I am calling that inferior and I guess I came on a little strong.;) I don't have any problem at all with non-intimate sex, casual hooking up or dating strangers as a way to meet more potential partners. But if your problem is loneliness, these can often deepen it rather than ease it away. Just something to think about.<3

Obsessing about someone from the past is a sometimes a way to avoid thinking about yourself--how it is you in charge of your emotions and sense of connection, not some romantic partner. Work on your life like it is a project. Make changes every day that strengthen your own self acceptance. people are attracted to confidence over all else--not bravado, not egotism, not cockiness or conceit--but true and honest self-acceptance. If you can become a person happy and at peace with your own life, others will seek you out.
 
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