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  • EADD Moderators: Pissed_and_messed | Shinji Ikari

Gibberings CXXV: Shameful Moderating

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you and your solitaire!

It HAS TO BE WIndows solitaire as well. So solitaire under WINE no less.

Not much else to do when you're too ashamed to go on MSN :(

I also got into a slight many many many hour debate about C vs C++ on another forum. I got told I have a "dangerous mindset". Woot! Surprised they could even make sense of my mindset given every sentence got rewritten 20 times until it didn't make sense anymore.
 
being told you have a dangerous mind sounds like a compliment I think :)

I know the rewriting sentences thing ohhhhhhhhhhh tooo well.
 
The oscars piss me off, can't believe what I'm seeing. Are these people un-aware of poverty in the world? It makes me sick some woman was wearing 750,000 dollars worth of jewelry. 8o Ffs sake wear 50,000 worth and give the rest to charity you rich bastards. Little kids are dying and they parade their wealth it's disgusting.

Sorry got up in a funny mood and that annoyed me.

Agreed. But Waltz getting an Oscar made the whole ceremony worth it for me :D
 
Stoned is brill, not had a smoke in two weeks tho, tolerance might go down, mind. Am on the codeine and got a couple Stripe, cosy night in for me after a series of depressing lectures on Heidegger and then attempting to navigate the Tesco in town, which I am now campaigning to have renamed 'Cunt Warehouse'. Got some good shit for dinner tho :D

Rabbit is monging out with me; little shit spent all night flinging her litter tray round and is now sparko, bar the odd (and baffling) attempt to straighten out my duvet with her front paws. Critical wee fucker.

edit: Bonus attack rabbit video. She's so friendly!
 
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Urgh, I fucked up this weekend. I was meant to go see my Mum for her birthday, but instead I told her I was sick and did the rest of my meph. I don't know why.... it would have been a nice weekend. I was looking forward to it. It's not like I kidded myself into thinking I'd just ahve a couple of lines - I knew it'd blow away the weekend.

As it was, the meph was fun for about 36 hours. When it just got fiendy and boring I decided to stop. But then I....instead of stopping, I just carried on..

It's all gone now (well, I'm still hunting for scraps, but yeah, it's gone). I've been awake 72 hours. I've spent about 40 hours of those 72 playing fucking solitaire. Obviously I'm not going to work today. Probably not tomorrow either.

My stomach is gurgling like it's very pissed off. My mouth is ripped to shreds from 72 hours of licking my teeth. My extremities aren't meant to be that colour. I have massive twiches, like spasms. And on top of that I feel fucking guilty about missing my Mum's birthday.

I wonder how long I would have carried on for if it hadn't run out. Don't think I've ever lasted much past 72 hours.

I guess it could be worse. I don't fuck up like this very often, so when I cry off sick people probably think I'm sick sick, not 40 hours of solitaire sick. I didn't have a huge quantity (1.5g). I don't feel very sketchy (yet). I haven't seen any entities (yet).

I'm just really pissed off with myself. And a bit surprised - I'm usually reasonably controlled with stim stopping times. I guess I don't usually have meph. Fiendish stuff.

Fuck it, I'm going to lick all the mephy surfaces, and suck on the baggies. Can't make me feel any more like a loswer than I already do! I wish i had some benzos. Actually if I'm wishing for stuff, I wish I had some self control.I

Was gonna say don't beat yourself up about it too much, but you would always say that a bit of self beating is needed in order to stop yourself doing it again. I dunno what else to say really, sometimes it just gets a grip of you and you can't stop yourself. I don't want to be too harsh but in the end it was your choice ultimately and I've made many choices that were very similar, turned up to my cousins wedding late because i'd been on the ethylphenidate and then had to drink myself to half normalness and then into a stupor, didn't feel great after that.

Take care of yourself angel and I'm always there for you if you need me, call/txt/IM/Skype <3

edit - also wanna say you are not alone, I fucked up Friday too, am meant to be staying away from stims but I got angry last Tuesday after one of my recovery meetings was postponed for almost two weeks and ordered some 3-MMC it arrived on the Friday, and I used it all, it's brought back that stim hunger again, the desire to do more stims and I hate myself for it too. I didn't miss a birthday, but I feel absolutely shit because of it and it's almost like 1 step forward 2 steps back in this recovery game at some points, needs to be a giant leap forward 10 steps or something soon or even 3 steps. Fuckit. I just need to sort it out and not turn to the online vendors when I'm feeling frustrated or down. It's something I have to learn. It didn't end in any pain this time or anything going wrong in my life but next time it could.
 
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Perhaps they don't want the additional toxins. Bit of a piss in the ocean if they've just quoffed a load of MDMA though.


Thanks Cornish. You learn a new thing everyday ay?

I want to learn how to write over a link next. A couple of people given me directions but I had no joy with them. :?

Yeah I wanna learn that link thingy too....

How's teh EADD collective this eve?
 
The oscars piss me off, can't believe what I'm seeing. Are these people un-aware of poverty in the world? It makes me sick some woman was wearing 750,000 dollars worth of jewelry. 8o Ffs sake wear 50,000 worth and give the rest to charity you rich bastards. Little kids are dying and they parade their wealth it's disgusting.

Sorry got up in a funny mood and that annoyed me.

ahh, come on now they only borrow the jewellery, and the clothes. I'll have you know that angelina does a lot for po lil kids in africa, they all do. (yep wouldn't we all like the opportunity to get to travel to the developing world in the name of doing charity work) i don't understand why it gets so much coverage. it's all so fixed as well i have no proof of that but it all looks very contruved. freaky forehead show is what it is
 
Stoned is brill, not had a smoke in two weeks tho, tolerance might go down, mind. Am on the codeine and got a couple Stripe, cosy night in for me after a series of depressing lectures on Heidegger and then attempting to navigate the Tesco in town, which I am now campaigning to have renamed 'Cunt Warehouse'. Got some good shit for dinner tho :D

Rabbit is monging out with me; little shit spent all night flinging her litter tray round and is now sparko, bar the odd (and baffling) attempt to straighten out my duvet with her front paws. Critical wee fucker.

edit: Bonus attack rabbit video. She's so friendly!

so it isn't horse at all in the burgers? my word :O
 
^ hello Cornwall, love Somerset <3

My sister in law came to visit last summer and turned her nose up at a lot of delicious (good) food on offer and made snobby comments about and refused an organic Somerset ham baguette. Then she made a facebook post a few weeks ago about going to ikea to buy meatballs. Oh how I laughed when I heard the news today :D Really cheered me up.

Shes the same woman who announced she was going to give the xmas present I gave my nephew to the local playgroup 'so he could play with it there'. Beeeeatch. Hope she gets mad horse disease.

And while I'm ranting, tell a full grown man he can never ever ever have sex for the rest of his life and wtf do you expect????
 
No, because she's a cunt.

She is a nightmare Cornish. I've done nothing but try with her but my NY resolution is to stop trying cos it only makes me feel like shit. Sad for my nephews and niece, and i'll still send them presents and cards but her and my brother can get fucked. But maybe her and my brother will realise that its a 2 way street, its not just me who needs the kids but they need their amazing aunt also.

And sorry for any confusion but the no sex thing was a reference to catholic priests :D
 
I dont even want to think about their sex life, but yes he can get well & truly fucked :D hows things at the ranch Cornish? dads gf being less of a bitch?

Oh god Bri's back. He's everywhere. I'm not watching the telly but i can hear him grinning. Must find tv remote.
 
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