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Gibberings CXVIII: We used to score using phone boxes

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Nah we're actually not as Draconian as people tend to imagine :P

I've often wondered what the Dalai Lama would think of psychedelics. I know Buddhism's keen on keeping your mind pure and unadulterated but surely a tab of acid and a pipe of DMT would change his mind? :D I don't know much about the Zen side of things, it's on my list of things to find out more about.. trying to get back into daily meditation at the mo, so far I've managed 15 mins in 4 days :|
 
effie said:
Nah we're actually not as Draconian as people tend to imagine :P

I've often wondered what the Dalai Lama would think of psychedelics. I know Buddhism's keen on keeping your mind pure and unadulterated but surely a tab of acid and a pipe of DMT would change his mind? :D I don't know much about the Zen side of things, it's on my list of things to find out more about.. trying to get back into daily meditation at the mo, so far I've managed 15 mins in 4 days :|
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I refuse to comment on the 1st thing ;)

I don't think anyone should have a view on religion untill they have done several years og hard tripping tbh.
It sure as hell makes you think about "God" etc well it did for me & most people I know.

I only just notced that cat is a gif, I throught I was going mad when I saw it's tail move for a second, guess i'm an idiot.
 
I reckon DMT would make the Dalai Lama giggle. And probably retire from Lama-ing to become the next Terence McKenna =D

Effie: 15 mins in 4 days ain't that bad at all really. Meditation is definitely a skill that needs practice. I could barely do more than a coupla minutes at a stretch when I first tried it. Is surprising how quickly it become second nature though. To the point where you can literally meditate as you're walking down the street or whatever. Is definitely summat I should get back into sometime. Although I say that quite a lot and haven't gotten around to it yet 8)

EDIT: Yes! The cat gif! I only notice it out the corner of me eye two nights ago and thought I'd imagined it. Caught it in the act yesterday but still wasn't entirely sure. Nice to have it confirmed by other eyes. F&B had a similar thing going on with his Cenobite/Gimp avatar. Kinda winked at ya just when you couldn't quite be sure if you'd imagined it. Miss that avatar. And postings from it's owner too.
 
I found that meditating on the nature of mould as a life-forum then asking it politely if it could vacate my bedroom while blasting it with positive energy from my heart chakra worked a treat.

Actually, I used Dettol Mould+Mildew spray as I'd already bought it ;) but I do plan to get some tea tree oil if it returns. The visible mould is gone and it's being ventilated but who knows about the sneaky spores.. Carpet seems to be alright fingers crossed bar one small black area that has been nuked with bleach.

The effie-cat is indeed a .gif, one of Watson's masterpieces. I've got some psychedelic neon effiecats too that I bust out on special occasions. %)
 
Afternoon. Can't stop long, I got a house to finish cleaning and drugs to take. Welcome back Farmaz, stay cool. At least try. ;)

That Jimmy Savile eh...
 
I only just noticed that your cat moves its tail, effie.

Am I a bad person?
 
No, but it probably wouldn't hurt to make a note of my mental state of mind each day or week to see if theres a pattern.

I had bad depression for about 4 years, about 6 years ago, and I'm so grateful its over I don't want to go looking too close to see whats really going on in there. Not just yet anyway.

Do you have anything like that jancrow?
 
That's a good idea and something I keep thinking of doing myself, then forgetting to do as I embark on whatever else it is which has suddenly become more pressing. It would take sod all effort and probably be really useful to me as I ebb and flow a lot and wouldn't be at all surprised to see an underlying pattern.

What do you think was the main factor in alleviating your depression if you don't mind me asking? Some unpleasant life experiences over the last couple of years pushed me 'under' a while ago and I've been bobbing upward from that in the last few months. It doesn't feel like much progress, especially on the bad days, but when I look back at every single day being a bad day and the lows being a hell of a lot lower than my current ebbs I can see that things are a definitely better than they were.... it's depressing in itself feeling that you've lost a lot of time to low mood, self-loathing, depression etc.
 
Inestesting you call them ebbs and I call them lulls, so we both recognise they're not the acute bad we felt, but could it be just as damaging long term if we don't address it, or is it just a normal part of the 'healing0' process?

jancrow said:
I've been bobbing upward
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But at least you know it's this, like a diver rising from the bottom of a pool, your gut tells you you're moving upwards even if it seems slowly at times. This is very good, for as you say the dark days are unforgettable and worth remembering as a bench mark. I had days when my boyfriend had to ring me when he got to work to talk me through getting up and out, he'd tell me to drive to the beach or the woods, and all I could do was put one foot in front of the other (just about).

I think my main turning was acceptance. Slow acceptance of things that had happened, and were happening. I gained my vantage point with the help of Fluoxetine and then stopped them. My GP was great. Once I slowly accepted stuff I felt more in control and less panic. The only way to escape the panic was to be comatose in bed with the curtains drawn in the middle of the day (no drink or drugs involved). I only accepted it cos I reached a point where it was that or suicide, literally 'it' or me so i guess a survival instinct kicked in. Sounds very dramatic but it was slow and boring, and not nearly a finished work :)

Good luck with your stuff jancrow, we all feel alone but the more I speak to people I realise we are all going through the exact same shit :D At least we have a sense of perspective now, and thats another sign things are better.

I have to question why I'm not seeking professional help with all this, why I think i can suss it all out on my own. Or is that all too American? I was referred for CBT at the same time i got the fluox but i never went, probably too scared to face up to stuff. God i'm gutless.
 
^ Bits of that are very familiar to me, but some of them from different points in my life. I never got onto ADs but did CBT which definitely helped me get through some bad times although I've been a total slack git about maintaining it in a structured way on my own, even if I am now able to spot certain problematic thought processes and cut them off or trace them to the grain of sand which has put a big shitty pearl in my head, which I never used to be able to do. So for me anyway there was a huge benefit in having someone professional guide me through certain thought processes and in particular derail the train occasionally and ask where it had come from and why I'd chosen to buy a ticket to that particular destination. I haven't ruled out ADs completely but after talking to some friends I'm trying to make changes which might negate needing them. We'll see. This drink and drug sabbatical has come at a very good time for me!

You're very lucky to have someone who was sympathetic and strong and could talk you through getting your day started. My girlfriend did a hell of a lot for me during the darkest times - can be a bit of a double edged sword if you start worrying about the effect you're having on the people who support you but lately I've been able to help her with things in her life which aren't going well and that feels instinctive and like payback of sorts.

Ebbs/lulls are part of life and always will be, and it's good to be mindful of that when you're feeling particularly bad, it's just that sometimes circumstances force your overall state to be that much lower than it should be so the highs feel like just coping and the lows feel like the dirtiest, darkest shittiest bottom of a pond you could ever conceive of. Not boozing and getting lots of sleep (at sensible times) are doing me a lot of good right now.
 
errr, dramatic shift in tone but I just found this:

38-Of-The-Most-Unexplainable-Images-On-The-Internet-31.jpg
 
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