Gibberings CLXXXI - Is it Christmas yet?

[kingme]

I want to know my kids, i want to be their friend as well as a father.

according to all the tv ive watched over the years, this is unlikely to happen, sadly.

i just think that if it were to happen, then it would have already happened. my parents arent bad people at all, but i too have a difficult somewhat relationship with them. emotional talks? not a chance in this household. i dont think i got more than a handful of hugs from my father during all these years, but im not really complaining, it might just be the way our genes are. i too have grown up unhugging, including in social situations. Not the case with loved ones, true, but some friends are far more "hands on" in regards to emotional expressiveness

 

[Allein]

Exactly the same with me. We were just getting somewhere close to being able to have conversations and actually get on, only took 8 years or so, then i moved back in. I hate it. I literally move and sound like the teenage me who finds it inconceivable that we're the same species.. i cant stand myself.

I doubt I would have any contact with my parents had I not moved out, maybe they could never see me as an adult whilst I lived there, not sure, it was complicated like most families are.

I never had a decent relationship with my father or older brother and resented them for many years, it took a bit of a breakdown for me to see just how damaging harbouring those feelings were. I don't see my brother often but now we get along fine, we know we love each other despite being so different and have a common interest in our ageing parents.

MY father lost or never had the ability to emotionally connect even when I tried and tried to talk to him about it and now dementia has taken hold and all hope for some kind of understand is lost. That said counselling taught me to stop expecting things from others, things that I want but things that maybe they can't or won't provide. Now I view my fathers life for what it was, his father was much the same and he had a younger brother who he detests until this day for no reasonable cause.

All that said as I've gotten older the relationship with my mother is better than its ever been and with all that is going on with my father etc I feel I have a chance to show her some care and let her know how much I appreciate her, that's enought

 

[ScotchMist]

Ive quite a number of friends who have fantastic relationships with their parents, they really are the best of friends. My Mrs for one, the relationship she has with her parents and siblings is beautiful to watch.

Im very different to my parents with regards affection and showing it and its something that i teach my children is a good thing to do.

I do really need to move out of my parents before it gets any worse, i want to get back to building a relationship, not ruining it. It may get to a point when its too late and that really would be terrible.

 

[mydrugbuddy]

Its bound to put a strain on things, even the best of relationships, when you are couped up with people of a different generation 24/7, especially if you're going through a low patch yourself. You possibly need your own space more than ever at times like that. I dunno, it might be different for everyone, YMMV etc.

 

[kingme]

how big is your "own space"?

 

[mydrugbuddy]

its a small terrace, so not very, but plenty big enough for a single person.

 

[monstanoodle]

Afternoon Folks and Folkettes!

My fucking zombie jeebus I felt utterly deathly this morning = Codeine, Diazepam & Gabapentin withdrawals were in FULL assault mode.
Thankfully my script was ready but I had to spend an hour + to stop myself shaking and get mentally ready to go out into the grim grey-skied outside: I almost passed out on the way back.
But with a bloodstream full of meds and half an hour or so of wicked music (thankyou thankyou Ninja Tune's Ninja Cuts!) I'm feeling like.... "better" doesn't do it justice 8(

I hope everyone is feelin irie today Or atleast not totally shite!
Much love all round and back again ~{^,^}~

 

[Kota]

Looks like another day in bed for me. I've taken some caffeine for the stuffy nose (late night pharmacy didn't carry pseudoephedrine... ) and some DHC for the killer headache. I get no recreational effects from either, so don't worry about me going crazy on them. The caffeine is APAP/phenylephrine/caffeine and the DHC is APAP/DHC, and I've had two of each, so I'd better watch my APAP intake for the day. I wish I had pure pseudo and aspirin/DHC. APAP sucks.

 

[monstanoodle]

I've told today to fuck off, Kota (welcome and nice to meet you by the by ), and I'm just going to listen to music, relax, maybe continue with my music, play my acoustic guitar minus 1 string to Chet Baker and just make up feeling better for the days of feeling like death.

I hope you feel better - Seems everyone's got the sniffulz at the moment

 

[Kota]

I've told today to fuck off, Kota (welcome and nice to meet you by the by ), and I'm just going to listen to music, relax, maybe continue with my music, play my acoustic guitar minus 1 string to Chet Baker and just make up feeling better for the days of feeling like death.

I hope you feel better - Seems everyone's got the sniffulz at the moment

Thanks for the welcome - it's nice to meet you, too! I'm listening to NIN and Joy Division alternately at the moment, but I think I might switch to something a bit more upbeat, aha. I feel like I'm wallowing a bit. I've been learning to play one of my favourite songs on an iPad synth keyboard app, have a nice droney backing for it made on my laptop from street recordings, and am going to get an acoustic guitar from family and get a GameBoy to hack to make music myself. I've been really enthusiastic about music lately. I'm thinking of, if I get good, maybe putting an EP of covers on Bandcamp as a pay-what-you-want. I'm broke and need all that I can get. The one thing that worries me about that plan is if copyright peeps kick up a fuss about me covering songs.

 

[deano88]

finally back to normal now, probably had about 8 or 9 hours sleep but i've woken up with the the worst ear ache and sore throat the weekend has writ me off good and proper. i must remember to stay away from the internet forums and especially facebook when wrecked cuz where my mind races i just come out with the most random shit and probably end up making myself look bad when i ain't.

its like the part of your brain that has a conscious and common sense stops working. i woke today and thought fucking hell what the fuck was i on about last night haha

 

[Sammy G]

its like the part of your brain that has a conscious and common sense stops working. i woke today and thought fucking hell what the fuck was i on about last night haha

You're by no means the only one, y'know?

Can somebody please phone work and pretend to be my wife going into labour or something? There's no way I can hack another week of this.

 

[mydrugbuddy]

If its any consolation, think of the alternative; joining the ranks of the unemployed. Although the first couple of weeks of having your free time back is great, after that there's nothing great about it atall, especially the financial aspect of it.

 

[monstanoodle]

Thanks for the welcome - it's nice to meet you, too! I'm listening to NIN and Joy Division alternately at the moment, but I think I might switch to something a bit more upbeat, aha. I feel like I'm wallowing a bit. I've been learning to play one of my favourite songs on an iPad synth keyboard app, have a nice droney backing for it made on my laptop from street recordings, and am going to get an acoustic guitar from family and get a GameBoy to hack to make music myself. I've been really enthusiastic about music lately. I'm thinking of, if I get good, maybe putting an EP of covers on Bandcamp as a pay-what-you-want. I'm broke and need all that I can get. The one thing that worries me about that plan is if copyright peeps kick up a fuss about me covering songs.

You, my good sir / madam, are a very intriguing person - Listening to Joy Division, Music making from guitar to GameBoys is the sign of a music connoisseur = Top Person %)
When it comes to covering songs, label it as a "Bootleg" and see what feedback you get. Then if you want to pursue it further for monetary means then you'd have to go into the bizniz of asking the artists / "owner" of the work.

Let me know if you want to collab some how some day I'm just getting back into making music after about a year of hiatus!

finally back to normal now, probably had about 8 or 9 hours sleep but i've woken up with the the worst ear ache and sore throat the weekend has writ me off good and proper. i must remember to stay away from the internet forums and especially facebook when wrecked cuz where my mind races i just come out with the most random shit and probably end up making myself look bad when i ain't.

its like the part of your brain that has a conscious and common sense stops working. i woke today and thought fucking hell what the fuck was i on about last night haha

Impulsive uncontrollable actions can get you into bother - I know first hand 8(
Glad yer feeling better though mate Raise thy chin n that!

 

[Sammy G]

If its any consolation, think of the alternative; joining the ranks of the unemployed. Although the first couple of weeks of having your free time back is great, after that there's nothing great about it atall, especially the financial aspect of it.

True, very true, and a sobering thought. Grass always being greener, I'd still like an early finish at least.

And if I look on the really positive side of things, I don't have a pregnant wife either. :D

 

[mydrugbuddy]

Got some CVs and letters ready to print out and drop off at some nearby businesses. Just need to get my arse off BL and get something more productive done. Trying to set a goal of doing atleast one such productive mission each day. It seems to help.

 

[ScotchMist]

I'll do it.. Only if i can say that you're a sleeper agent for the Secret Service. The fate of the country, possibly the world hangs in the balance and only SammyG, or 0121 as you're known in the agency has the skills to pull it off...

Yeah?

 

[Sammy G]

I'll do it.. Only if i can say that you're a sleeper agent for the Secret Service. The fate of the country, possibly the world hangs in the balance and only SammyG, or 0121 as you're known in the agency has the skills to pull it off...

Yeah?

Sounds juuuuuuussst perfect!

Work number being sent by PM this second.

 

[swampdragon]

If its any consolation, think of the alternative; joining the ranks of the unemployed. Although the first couple of weeks of having your free time back is great, after that there's nothing great about it atall, especially the financial aspect of it.

Pfft, you're kidding me.. I spent the last 6 months "unemployed" (not claiming or owt, had no intention of working so wouldn't do that..) and it was fucking brilliant. Possibly this is because I had money and kept myself busy with festivals/travels/hobbies and my volunteering lark, though.

I've now got 2 jobs for a few months and can't wait for them to be over already.. but I am looking forward to being able to afford rent and stuff. :/

Got some CVs and letters ready to print out and drop off at some nearby businesses. Just need to get my arse off BL and get something more productive done. Trying to set a goal of doing atleast one such productive mission each day. It seems to help.

If you could tolerate shop work, most of them don't advertise so it's worth popping in and asking if they're recruiting, and dropping off your CV. (And phone some agencies but they're usually cunts..)

 

[Kota]

You, my good sir / madam, are a very intriguing person - Listening to Joy Division, Music making from guitar to GameBoys is the sign of a music connoisseur = Top Person %)
When it comes to covering songs, label it as a "Bootleg" and see what feedback you get. Then if you want to pursue it further for monetary means then you'd have to go into the bizniz of asking the artists / "owner" of the work.

Let me know if you want to collab some how some day I'm just getting back into making music after about a year of hiatus!

Impulsive uncontrollable actions can get you into bother - I know first hand 8(
Glad yer feeling better though mate Raise thy chin n that!

Thank you very much! I'd love to collab with you some time. I finally live on my own in the spring, so I could get to t'North p easily. I have a Scotland-wide concession card, so getting to the border on w coach would be free, then I could get a cheap train or another coach. Alternatively, we could collab online - do you have soundcloud? my current laptop is too old to work with soundcloud but I'm getting a new one soon