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  • EADD Moderators: Pissed_and_messed | Shinji Ikari

Gibberings CLXXVII -- You could use that fantastic iphone of yours

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My booze intake has almost completely stopped. Was doing about 8 cans of 9% a day at the beginning of the year (as well as all the benzos and smack), and on days when I had no benzos I was doing a bottle of spirits plus extra beers just to keep myself straight, but have been drinking a few drinks maybe once a week for the last few weeks. Went out with my mates on saturday night and only drank 5 pints....folllowed by two cups of tea before bed=D.
 
I reckon twenty years isn't far off, y'know? Mark Manning (Zodiac Mindwarp) said similar, but I can't remember what figure he put on it, if any.

I went for about a decade-and-a-half, give or take periods of abstinence and relatively-lighter drinking, and although I had the shakes every day, would end up drenched in sweat etc., I was never clinically an alcoholic, though I was clearly on the way. Then again, my old fella claimed never to have been one, and look what happened to him: booze dementia. Followed by death, ironically weeks after kicking the booze and my subsequent refusal to buy him any.

It's a funny old world.
 
I didn't have vivid hallucinations or a grand mal seizure when I barebacked from 200mg of diazepam, I sure as hell was addicted though.
 
No shit.

I was just making the point that I find it funny someone can spend years going through what are obviously wd symptoms on a daily basis and still tell themselves they're not addicted.

I'm not knocking you, hell I've found myself swimming in de nile on more than one occasion for sure.
 
yeah i dont think grand mal seizures or hallucinations are 100% guarenteed results of abrubtly stopping high doses of benzos or alcohol after a prolonged period of sustained heavy usage or addiction. Obviously its a very very risky thing to do though. It worries me when i go on my little stim binges, and i extend my time without the dosages of etiz that my body has become accustomed to, though that is only by 12-18 hours or something, there is probably still some lingering half life etiz metabolites in my body within that sort of timefarme, but i start getting 'jolts' and 'pulses' in my jugular vein and stuff, which kind of tells me to kill the stim session, or put it on hold, or atleast get some etiz down me, before i decide whether to continue stimming it up or not.
 
THECATINTHEHAT said:
No shit.

I was just making the point that I find it funny someone can spend years going through what are obviously wd symptoms on a daily basis and still tell themselves they're not addicted.

I'm not knocking you, hell I've found myself swimming in de nile on more than one occasion for sure.
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Oh, I was addicted. No question. Still am, always will be.

I just wasn't even 25% of the way my father and his mates were, or some of the guys you see in the drunk tank, if you've ever had the pleasure. I could stop. It might be uncomfortable to say the least, but I could stop. These guys couldn't stop.
 
It's the intensity of withdrawal. Pretty much like the heroin kindling effect, the dipso-cluck gets progressively worse, until it's proper delerium tremens. I never experienced that, so clinically I'm not an alcoholic. Just a humble former problem drinkier.
 
Sammy G said:
Just a humble former problem drinkier.
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=D

Nah fair play I think I kind of understand what you mean. You feel you don't fit in to the 12-step-esque totalitarian view that once an addict always an addict/you're born an addict/an addict is someone who can never fit the use of substances in to their life successfully?

Hey evey.:) I'm good and bad, things been looking up for me the last couple of days but worried for a friend. Such is life eh. How are you?
 
Anyone believe in the notion that 'willpower is strengthened by exercising it'? Or is it just nonsense:?

This is the 2nd occasion ive obtained flubroz, and rather than bosh the whole lot in one evening like i did last time, apart from the one i lost somewhere, this time round i only took 4 of the 10, and didnt take any last night though i would have loved to. I just dont think they are conducive to either waking up early for work, or even having the motivation to even be arsed to even get out of bed atall. I do love the heavy duty hypnotic kick they provide, but i think for reasons of wanting to keep my job i shoukld only take them on evenings/days when i dont have to work the next day. If i did take some and actually manage to turn up for work, i dread to think how negligent my work would be, or what i might do and say to people without stopping to think of the consequences. They arent so easy to fit into daily working life, compared to kratom and minor opis, which kind of has its advantages.
 
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THECATINTHEHAT said:
=D

Nah fair play I think I kind of understand what you mean. You feel you don't fit in to the 12-step-esque totalitarian view that once an addict always an addict/you're born an addict/an addict is someone who can never fit the use of substances in to their life successfully?

?
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opis and benzos can all too easily fit into daily life as i think you have probably experienced yourself. Whether that is a recipe for using the substances succesfully is a different matter. How do you define success though? I beleive that in the short - medium term atleast, things can be succesful and sustainable with benzos at appropriate and carefully managed doses.
 
mydrugbuddy said:
Anyone believe in the notion that 'willpower is strengthened by exercising it'? Or is it just nonsense:?
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I think there can be some truth in that, but I wouldn't be rushing in to testing myself.

I think if you are tested and you pull through then the positive thought process that follows (self-esteem from having not cracked, maybe you end up having a really great time anyway and start to realise you don't need substances for fun etc) can be good for you and encourage you to exercise your will power in the future. On the other hand I've been there and then snapped like a tiny twig not long after so who knows.

I certainly know that it's easier when you've got your head and behaviours in a pattern that mean you're not having to white knuckle it though. Well, it is for me.
 
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