StreetHalo91
Bluelighter
Birthday party at the weekend, great turnout, seen mates I havent seen in ages, great stuff, sadly not all of my mates get on and many are having issues so shit went down, went from feeling like the king of the parties to the creation of this bizarre drug related mess in hours. Horrendous ecstasy and psychedelic comedown from all sides. Class party but class mess. So many mates having problems and dramas and ended up leaving on an awful note feeling like the worst boyfriend in the world for not being able to stay with my girl, despite the fact she's finally got a proper job which is gonna take up her week. No big issues but can't have relationship talks when everyone's serotonin depleted. Got back cos I have things to do, managed to get myself into an awful mental state on the tube home and ended up getting back and banging some stupid diphenidine/5-HTP/fluromazepam/beer/rum concoction to try and feel less like a terrible person. Log onto FB to see what's been happening and Robbie Williams has killed himself. Obviously set the excellent vibes for the night as apart from being a fan of some of Robbie#s stuff have been fighting suicidal urges for months now. Feeling desperate and lonely and that I've fucked up but don't know what Ive fucked up and don't know who I can talk to. Apologies for the incoherency just not thinking straight and have been doing stupid things. Hi Bluelight btw. Absolute mess but hoping will feel more rational once comedown/drugs have worn off. Hope everyone here is okay.