• 🇬🇧󠁿 🇸🇪 🇿🇦 🇮🇪 🇬🇭 🇩🇪 🇪🇺
    European & African
    Drug Discussion

    Welcome Guest!
    Posting Rules Bluelight Rules
  • EADD Moderators: Pissed_and_messed | Shinji Ikari

Gibberings CLXIII - Up All Night Shooting Cheese Balls

Eveleivibe said:
Shambles, what's that photo?
Click to expand...

It's an X-ray of a sandalled foot in somebody's arse. It could well have been worse but decided against it as was not quite what I was aiming for. Was greatly tempted though. X-rays of foots in arses are just the right level of comedically offensive for now. I'll keep me even baser thoughts to myself.
 
Shambles said:
Opiates and opioids blunt emotions. This is demonstrable fact and is the case for everybody who uses them regularly. They block feelings of all kinds. Actually not quite block but blunt - you feel but not really feel the way you would otherwise. It's one of the real problems with opies. Aside from all the addiction and stuff which is also a bit of a shitter.

I wouldn't agree that alcohol allows you to feel true emotion, I'd say alcohol makes emotion self-indulgent. Whilst the emotion may well be completely accurate it's exaggerated and made to feel all-encompassing. Speaking for myself I know that if I'm feeling a bit down then drink I'll end up feeling horribly down. In the past this would often end up in resorting to extensive self-harm. I almost never self-harmed when sober or on other drugs. When I feel happy and drink I tend to become hyperhappy and end up acting like a complete moron. Perhaps not as bad as slashing fuck out yourself with broken glass and razor blades but still a bit awkward when having to face people I was acting an utter bellend with the night before. Not saying I never do anything like that on other drugs but don't think I get quite as nauseating as I do when drunk. This is but me but I do believe that can be generalised to a certain extent. Not real emotions, exaggerated emotions. They are equally as unreal as blunted opiated emotions. Just more flamboyant.
Click to expand...

I agree.... But 'tis better than feel empty n flat... like I'm just existing n it's a chore to get up every day, just to exist n then go to bed. Day, after day. I tried listening to music yesterday when I was walking n I could not "feel," I use to feel music in me but yesterday I could hear it but nothing else.... nothing...

Music used to take me to a different world, and then I'd write poetry!

Why has everything gone so wrong? I try to help others n make them feel welcome, wanted, like they belong n like they matter n end up annoying n offending people.

I'm just one major f up.

Evey
 
Eveleivibe said:
I agree.... But 'tis better than feel empty n flat...
Click to expand...

Is that a good reason to drink more or is it perhaps a good reason to take less opioids? I'm not saying one thing or the other - these are all your decisions and your decisions alone - but it is worth thinking about. I will say that the reason I gave up my subbiez script so much sooner than my drug services wanted me to first time round when I was coming off heroin/methadone was that I couldn't stand not being able to feel any more. I found it easier when I was in more... hectic lifestyle because I had so many distractions to focus on. No good distractions for the most part but bad distractions distract equally as well if not better. Once I was more settled and away from my previous addictive patterns I found bupe to be ultimately depressing. There are many things I <3 about it - there still are - but I know it can never be a longterm thing because I can't live without feeling.

I also took to drinking heavily around this time. I drank quite heavily before that but once bupe was all I had left of my addiction I drank far heavier than I ever had before. Much like yourself I drank because it made me feel things. Made me feel them far too much to be real but was better than not feeling at all. I can relate on the music side too. Similarly it used to make me feel but I struggle to get the same from it now. There are a number of reasons for that (not least of which being I can only listen with headphones these days cos my speaker wires rotted) but I know opies are a big part of the reason why I shy away from listening to music to anything like the extent I used to, and also why I tend to listen to music when drinking. I always did but now it means more because I don't feel it as much unless drink or other drugs are involved.

You are not a major fuck up by any means - fuck, have you seen some of the people out there?!? 8o - but it's possible you've lost your way a lil. Addiction will do that to anybody and everybody. I have no answer to addiction but I would suggest that booze 'n' bupe are not an answer. Both may sometimes help in their own ways but they will not ever solve any issues either of us have. I wish I did have answers to addiction cos I would no longer be in that boat. Albeit not quite the same boat I was once upon it's from the same fleet. You will be on some other boat amongst the addict fleet and you will have your own course to navigate. Can't navigate for you but many people can help to point you in the right direction at times, but never for sure and always you that has to decide what course to actually plot.

I'll go swab the maindeck and batten a hatch or two - seems I'm stuck on nautical metaphor above and beyond initial use.
 
Eveleivibe said:
Sorry but DRINK makes me FEEL my EMOTIONS n that's why I drink...
Because I can only write when I feel.... or when I'm listening to music....
Click to expand...

It's sad to say that I'm the same way.

I'm down to ride tonight on the special brew train.
Being the cheap cunt that I am I'll probably just have one can and that ofc isn't enough.
 
Come on the train with me Evey bring your wine :)

You ain't as much of a failure as me or most other people.
Just because people bring you down IRL doesn't make you a failure, from your posts regarding your daughter I can tell you're on the other end of the spectrum and a great mother.


-

Oh fuck it's easter now?
 
I think you may be wallowing in it a bit now, Evey. You know what I think about your posts - I think you make some really good ones and are usually friendly, courteous and go out of your way to be helpful. You also know others think the same cos we just had that PM conversation where I pointed some out to you in the very thread you thought people were against you. It's worth remembering that whilst booze does make a person feel things more it is also a depressant - depressing both to respiration and to spirits. It often makes things seem worse than they are and very often makes negative thoughts about oneself become greatly exaggerated. As I said, I used to go at myself with broken glass and razor blades when drunk because I hated myself so much and thought I was that worthless. It didn't make me have those feelings but it magnified them beyond all recognition to the point I acted on them. I know (at least I hope) you don't do stuff like that but I do think you become unnecessarily down on yourself when you drink. Many of us do - it's a natural feature of drink when a person doesn't necessarily feel so great about themselves for whatever reason - often because other people have put them down for prolonged periods but not always.

I'm sure you know all this anyway so will just say I think you're dandy and should feel better about yourself cos you do plenty right and should keep doing so :)<3

PS: Is that your new hair in your avatar? You weren't kidding it's pink 8o
 
I'm being nice to a horrible person because we're all fucked in the head to some extent, and I couldn't care less. :p

Goodnight curious
 
Eveleivibe said:
taking some extra suboxone f it.
gna make a sausage butty.
plmar don't be nice to me im a horrible person.
why you being nice to me
Click to expand...

I dont know much about suboxone... But taking it with ur second bottle of wine doesnt sound good. Does it?? Shambles??
 
I smashed myself to bits doing bmx tricks in a skatepark last night, bruises, grazed knees, sprained wrist, achey achey. Fucking good fun though.

Tonight i am enjoying another eveninng listening to drunk dickheads in the street and boyracers whizzing past periodically playing shit music.

What a life.
 
raas_2012 said:
I dont know much about suboxone... But taking it with ur second bottle of wine doesnt sound good. Does it?? Shambles??
Click to expand...

Not brilliant by any means no. Bupe is not so bad for respiratory depression as some opies but any opiate/opioid combo carries a certain amount of risk. In the case of bupe + booze I'd suggest choking on vomit whilst asleep was perhaps the biggest risk. That's not to say people don't combine both regularly but it is a risk worth bearing in mind all the same cos it is a very real risk no matter how many times we get away with it.
 
Fuck this I feel sick and I don't feel shit.

Fuck beer, I want some of the good stuff.
 
As disulfiram is absorbed slowly through the digestive tract and eliminated slowly by the body, the effects may last for up to two weeks after the initial intake

Some five to 10 minutes after alcohol intake, the patient may experience the effects of a severe hangover for a period of 30 minutes up to several hours.


So then the council purchases several kilograms of disulfram and proceeds to introduce it to the water supply of their bourough, and a small part of the country becomes free of drunken arseholes.

PROGRESS! someone push this idea to a tory MP and we are good to go.
 
I've only had 6 mg more I wont do anymore I'm sorry. I needed to punish myself that I offended someone today, that's all.
I meant to be a better person than that n help people.
Still I've wound someone up n hurt them n I deserve to pay for that.
I be better from now on n not act like I know it all, I was trying to help that's all. really sorry :(
These sausages be ready in a minute. I'm sorry. I just wantto help here, help new members feel wanted here at Bluelight but I end up offending people instead n I don't want that then I have this confiict in me I think should I report it? But I don't want to report it because then admin will think that I am an attention seeker after all so I don't want to report it but then I feel angry, and then I feel guilty for feeling angry because these people are members and deserve RESPECT no matter what, they deserve to be listened to n understood n I was wrong for acting like I know it all. I'm deeply sorry all I wanted was to help.

Evey
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top