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Gibberings CLXI: The Numerals are Probably Wrong, The Words Within Most Certainly Are

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Lol

Up too early. Got told last week to go see the prescribing nurse for more Diaz til I get a taper sorted properly (didn't wanna go to the doc's too early as my script only runs out tomorrow and the only appointment they had with him was last Fri) and they said she'd do it today. So I get there nd shes really apologetic like 'Oh sorry I can't prescribe you that, I'll make a note for the doctor when he comes in though, come back and check at 12. By the way it seems you haven't had your blood taken recently *picks up needle*'

Fucking terrified of IV injections but fortunately she was really good at it and I didn't pass out! So yay! Just hope doctor will prescribe a week's worth or so til I can get the taper plan sorted, just maintaining at the moment, albeit at a massively reduced dose. Nurse seemed to listen and take notes, told her my assessment for the rehab place is tonight and I dunno how long it'll take to get seen and get a taper started. hopefully not long.
 
were you taking masses of etiz ? It does seem to be relatively easy to reduce from crazy big doses, like 25-35 mg and upwards. I guess its relatively easy until the dose starts getting nearer to 'recommended dose' levels of 1 - 2mg . I take most of my ~12 mg total dose at bedtime, and trying to keep to 1mg in the early evening. I suspect that there's still a lot of leeway left to gradually reduce the bedtime dose without too much bother, it seems that if you keep gradually reducing then your tolerance does lower pretty damn quickly, but if you maintain on a stable dose, then tolerance can rise.

The Drs round here will not give me a script, unless i get extremely lucky one day, and accidentally word things just right, they will see right through me if i appear to be 'drug seeking' so im having to do the taper myself. Am gonna be playing it more along the lines of 'listening to my body' rather than having rigid time frames and schedules, that i may turn out to be able to do far quicker than planned, or it may take far longer.
 
Good to bad... to GREAT to fucks sake what have I done AGAIN....

Dont do drugs kids, they'll take it all... possibly, if you let em.. so dont.. ;)
 
Yeah I was, it seems to have been easy enough physically to go through such a huge drop, but emotionally I've been a complete mess. I was worried about tolerance rising if I maintain so I'm hoping I get on a taper soon as. It's not like I'm asking him for huge amounts, just a week's worth but worried it'll look dodgy that I went to the nurse, but she explained why I had in the note so.

Was surprised doc gave me anything, thought he'd at least piss test me but didn't. Maybe sees a lot of problems with the uni nearby?

Good luck doing your taper yourself, I tried a rigid time frame when I tried it myself cos couldn't stick to it, mind I used etiz to taper and not something longer lasting and less recreational so.

Ahhh drugs are bastards.
 
Well done on getting through all that faffing with a minimal amount of etiz inside you, snolly.

Are you still experiencing rebound nastiness, or have things levelled out a little?
 
Morning all. Well I forgot all about I was startin quittin alcohol today, So here I am sittin with a beer in my hand, LOL. Guess going to start tomorrow :|
 
Ugh just had a meeting with school about my lil one then they start asking how uni is. How the how do i say "oh I've now got a shitty post grad certificate because I've basically failed my masters!" Life really sucks. Feel I'm drowning n there's no way out whatsoever :(
 
Sammy G said:
Well done on getting through all that faffing with a minimal amount of etiz inside you, snolly.

Are you still experiencing rebound nastiness, or have things levelled out a little?
Click to expand...

Levelling out, still anxious and emotional and I feel like I've lost about 50 IQ points but vaguely worried what will happen if the doctor won't prescribe diaz again until I see the clinic. Hopefully won't be too long between tonight's assessment and my meeting with the clinic. Shall find out tonight I spose!
 
snolly said:
Yeah I was, it seems to have been easy enough physically to go through such a huge drop, but emotionally I've been a complete mess. I was worried about tolerance rising if I maintain so I'm hoping I get on a taper soon as. It's not like I'm asking him for huge amounts, just a week's worth but worried it'll look dodgy that I went to the nurse, but she explained why I had in the note so.

Was surprised doc gave me anything, thought he'd at least piss test me but didn't. Maybe sees a lot of problems with the uni nearby?

Good luck doing your taper yourself, I tried a rigid time frame when I tried it myself cos couldn't stick to it, mind I used etiz to taper and not something longer lasting and less recreational so.

Ahhh drugs are bastards.
Click to expand...

Has the GP got you to drop a lot? They do that. The place you've been referred will sort that out for you.

My GP had me go to 60 mg a day codeine from a 900mg habit. They're NO idea. Hang in there xxxx
 
ColtDan said:
Still Seagull

seagull41.jpg
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fuck these creatures, I live in a seaport town, they all over man, going be bad to summer, sso much noise haha :D
 


@Albion : I've been through all this with mdpv. I couldn't look at the pv thread for a long long time. I had my relapses.

Fuck NA that is a waste of time.

MXE was crucial in steering me away from stims and methoxphenidine helps too.

PV is the drug that takes away your control, that's just down to biology and chemistry and it is a chemical bear trap. I don't buy into this 'you must give up EVERYTHING' bullshit either. I did for a while. I gave up booze completely, stopped smoking, stopped taking caffeine, just to demonstrate to myself that i could exercise control over things.

It's about taking back control over your choices and not letting the drug influence your decision making, and understanding that because it hammers the dopamine reward system it is like operant conditioning, and to stop it you just have to break the system - like you've done by scrambling your password for that place or whatever.

I had a hard fall and a difficult time getting myself back together again. It takes time to get over pv but only you can do it. Do it for yourself. Do it out of respect for yourself.

If you feel like you're out of control you can always walk into a psychiatric hospital at the height of a pv binge and get yourself sectioned and spend a couple of weeks full of benzos and see some really mentally broken people. I hope you don't have to come to that though, it's not fun.

rambling on a bit sorry, but take of yourself dude.

 
Nicklazz said:
fuck these creatures, I live in a seaport town, they all over man, going be bad to summer, sso much noise haha :D
Click to expand...

You think you are bad? I live in Aberdeen where the highest population of urban seagulls in the world! (Well, supposedly, one of the highest now... Cardiff has got the honour, fine by me... I'd rather have less seagulls. ;))

On another note, I had a paramedic crew round last night because I 'felt' short of breath for almost 3 hours whilst taking some of that evil Meph... they checked my O-Sats, temperature, blood sugar & blood pressure, telling me I had nothing obvious wrong with me. I decided not to go to the hospital (they were just a response team, they would have had to have got another Ambulance for me) for a like 4 hour sit around where they just hook me up to a HRM & an ECG... been there, done it not once, not twice but three times before ... all in one week... don't ask, it was around this time last year actually 8)

Anyway, I did the silly thing of taking more Meph after they told me not to... typical. :! Then, 2 hours later I felt pretty damn stimulated still, despite not having that much... so eventually I got out bed which was just a waste of time tossing back & forth. Of course, what did I do next but take more Meph... to be fair, I had to because I felt so shitty. It actually seemed to help for a few hours until it was near breakfast, then I took a couple of lines in quick succession which seemed to bring things back. Now, I've just a sort of 'heavy' feeling heart & I think my ankles are swollen... taken with the shortness of breath last night, that's not a good sign... so I think I best be calling for the Paramedics again before something happens!

Hopefully it is all nothing like they suggested at first & just anxiety / effect of the drug that I'm not used to... meh, let's hope it's not anything as sinister as drug-induced heart-failure. 8o
 
You were concerned enough to call out the paramedics, yet after they left you carried on taking meph despite their explicit advice not to do so? :\

Now you're feeling a wee bit dodgy, having continued to cane the meph, so you're considering calling them out again?

I don't mean to be rude here, but are you fucking stupid or something?
 
I'm just your regular drug user to who puts 2 + 2 together to make 5.

They essentially said it was all in my head, or just a normal side effect of the drug... I took that to mean, you are not in a serious situation. I mean, I did leave quite a long time between small doses when I got back on it, but... guess I shouldn't have... I'll report back later. :\
 
I've started going down the NA route again, in all honesty it hasnt been going so well. I do see the postives in it, because there are some but as has been said I struggle with the complete abstinence, I have a problem with heroin, nothing else.

I always find the actual problem of addiction hasn't been addressed, they've addressed the drugs but not the addictive nature, theyre all obsessing over new cars, e-cigs etc, while this is from a health point of view a better thing to obsess and be compulsive over the addictive tendancies havent been addressed. I honesty dont know if they can be cured.

I go in with the attitude of just taking from it what works for me, higher power, abstinence, nah....

I do find it therapeutic to just be honest to myself and others, something a fail at on both counts outside of the rooms...

KEEP COMING BACK, IT WORKS IF YOU WORK IT, YOU'RE WORTH IT :) Hate that part.... ;)

Im just clutching at straws to be honest cuz everything else has failed up until now...

Good luck albion
 
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