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  • EADD Moderators: Shambles

Gibberings CIX: Faulty 'y' key? Or just high?

You're saying a Mormon is unfit for office, but you're not extending that to other religions. Therefore you're seemingly demonising Mormons alone. Get it now? 8)

OK, I can see how it comes across like that. That's not what I meant. I am saying that a Mormon is unfit for office. I am, however, extending that to other religions as well. I just didn't feel the need to go into that as I was specifically talking about Mitt Romney being a Mormon.

Basically, this...

To be honest I don't think a radical religious person is fit for office, no matter what denomination they follow.
 
OK, I can see how it comes across like that. That's not what I meant. I am saying that a Mormon is unfit for office. I am, however, extending that to other religions as well. I just didn't feel the need to go into that as I was specifically talking about Mitt Romney being a Mormon.

We got there. Thanks fuck that MSB's not around to drag this one out for a few pages of paragraph-free hysteria. :D

So - Obama. Nice taste in shirts, yeah?
 
I think EADD could actually do with Mormon inspired self-control, there you go:

A Guide to Self-Control:

1. Never touch the intimate parts of your body except during normal toilet processes.

2. Avoid being alone as much as possible. Find good company and stay in this good company.

3. If you are associated with other persons having this same problem, YOU MUST BREAK OFF THEIR FRIENDSHIP. Never associate with other people having the same weakness. Don't suppose that two of you will quit together, you never will. You must get away from people of that kind. Just to be in their presence will keep your problem foremost in your mind. The problem must be taken OUT OF YOUR MIND for that is where it really exists. Your mind must be on other and more wholesome things.

4. When you bathe, do not admire yourself in a mirror. Never stay in the bath more than five or six minutes -- just long enough to bathe and dry and dress AND THEN GET OUT OF THE BATHROOM into a room where you will have some member of your family present.

5. When in bed, if that is where you have your problem for the most part, dress yourself for the night so securely that you cannot easily touch your vital parts, and so that it would be difficult and time consuming for you to remove those clothes. By the time you started to remove protective clothing you would have sufficiently controlled your thinking that the temptation would leave you.

6. If the temptation seems overpowering while you are in bed, GET OUT OF BED AND GO INTO THE KITCHEN AND FIX YOURSELF A SNACK, even if it is in the middle of the night, and even if you are not hungry, and despite your fears of gaining weight. The purpose behind this suggestion is that you GET YOUR MIND ON SOMETHING ELSE. You are the subject of your thoughts, so to speak.

7. Never read pornographic material. Never read about your problem. Keep it out of mind. Remember -- "First a thought, then an act."

The thought pattern must be changed. You must not allow this problem to remain in your mind. When you accomplish that, you soon will be free of the act.

8. Put wholesome thoughts into your mind at all times. Read good books -- Church books -- Scriptures -- Sermons of the Brethern [sic, Cistern too?]. Make a daily habit of reading at least one chapter of Scripture, preferably from one of the four Gospels in the New Testament, or the Book of Mormon. The four Gospels -- Matthew, Mark, Luke and John -- above anything else in the Bible can be helpful because of their uplifting qualities.

9. Pray. But when you pray, don't pray about this problem, for that will tend to keep [it] in your mind more than ever. Pray for faith, pray for understanding of the Scriptures, pray for the Missionaries, the General Authorities, your friends, your families, BUT KEEP THE PROBLEM OUT OF YOUR MIND BY NOT MENTIONING IT EVER -- NOT IN CONVERSATION WITH OTHERS, NOT IN YOUR PRAYERS. KEEP IT _OUT_ of your mind! The attitude of a person toward his problem has an affect on how easy it is to overcome. It is essential that a firm commitment be made to control the habit. As a person understands his reasons for the behavior, and is sensitive to the conditions or situations that may trigger a desire for the act, he develops the power to control it.

As one meets with his Priesthood Leader, a program for overcoming masturbation can be implemented using some of these suggestions. Remember it is essential that a regular report program be agreed on, so progress can be recognized and failures understood and eliminated.

Suggestions:

1. Pray daily, ask for the gifts of the Spirit, that which will strengthen you against temptation. Pray fervently and out loud when the temptations are the strongest.

2. Follow a program of vigorous daily exercise. The exercises reduce emotional tension and depression and are absolutely basic to the solution of this problem. Double your physical activity when you feel stress increasing.

3. When the temptation to masturbate is strong, yell STOP to those thoughts as loudly as you can in your mind and then recite a prechosen Scripture or sing an inspirational hymn. It is important to turn your thoughts away from the selfish need to indulge.

4. Set goals of abstinence, begin with a day, then a week, month, year and finally commit to never doing it again. Until you commit yourself to never again you will always be open to temptation.

5. Change in behavior and attitude is most easily achieved through a changed self-image. Spend time every day imagining yourself strong and in control, easily overcoming tempting situations.

6. Begin to work daily on a self-improvement program. Relate this plan to improving your Church service, to improving your relationships with your family, God and others. Strive to enhance your strengths and talents.

7. Be outgoing and friendly. Force yourself to be with others and learn to enjoy working and talking to them. Use principles of developing friendships found in books such as How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie.

8. Be aware of situations that depress you or that cause you to feel lonely, bored, frustrated or discouraged. These emotional states can trigger the desire to masturbate as a way of escape. Plan in advance to counter these low periods through various activities, such as reading a book, visiting a friend, doing something athletic, etc.

9. Make a pocket calendar for a month on a small card. Carry it with you, but show it to no one. If you have a lapse of self control, color the day black. Your goal will be to have no black days. The calendar becomes a strong visual reminder of self control and should be looked at when you are tempted to add another black day. Keep your calendar up until you have at least three clear months.

10. A careful study will indicate you have had the problem at certain times and under certain conditions. Try and recall, in detail, what your particular times and conditions were. Now that you understand how it happens, plan to break the pattern through counter activities.

11. In the field of psychotherapy there is a very effective technique called aversion therapy. When we associate or think of something very distasteful with something which has been pleasurable, but undesirable, the distasteful thought and feeling will begin to cancel out that which was pleasurable. If you associate something very distasteful with your loss of self-control it will help you to stop the act. For example, if you are tempted to masturbate, think of having to bathe in a tub of worms, and eat several of them as you do the act.

12. During your toileting and shower activities leave the bathroom door or shower curtain partly open, to discourage being alone in total privacy. Take cool brief showers.

13. Arise immediately in the mornings. Do not lie in bed awake, no matter what time of day it is. Get up and do something. Start each day with an enthusiastic activity.

14. Keep your bladder empty. Refrain from drinking large amounts of fluids before retiring.

15. Reduce the amount of spices and condiments in your food. Eat as lightly as possible at night.

16. Wear pajamas that are difficult to open, yet loose and not binding.

17. Avoid people, situations, pictures or reading materials that might create sexual excitement.

18. It is sometimes helpful to have a physical object to use in overcoming this problem. A Book of Mormon, firmly held in hand, even in bed at night has proven helpful in extreme cases.

19. In very severe cases it may be necessary to tie a hand to the bed frame with a tie in order that the habit of masturbating in a semi-sleep condition can be broken. This can also be accomplished by wearing several layers of clothing which would be difficult to remove while half asleep.

20. Set up a reward system for your successes. It does not have to be a big reward. A quarter in a receptacle each time you overcome or reach a goal. Spend it on something which delights you and will be a continuing reminder of your progress.

21. Do not let yourself return to any past habit or attitude patterns which were part of your problem. Satan Never Gives Up. Be calmly and confidently on guard. Keep a positive mental attitude. You can win this fight! The joy and strength you will feel when you do will give your whole life a radiant and spiritual glow of satisfaction and fulfillment.
 
Kenny - we've established that nobody here is defending the LDS and their brand of theology. So why carry on having a kick at the Mormons?

Why not just swear at the next well-dressed, softly-spoken, be-rucksacked missionary they send to your house? I'm sure it'll be far more satisfying.
 
Kenny - we've established that nobody here is defending the LDS and their brand of theology. So why carry on having a kick at the Mormons?

Why not just swear at the next well-dressed, softly-spoken, be-rucksacked missionary they send to your house? I'm sure it'll be far more satisfying.

Samhain-MUSTNOTDISCRIMINATE-Grim. Calm down.

Mormons have a whole guide on how not to rip the heid off it, surely that's funny & worthy of posting?

You think big Mitt skelps it in secret?
 
Kenny - we've established that nobody here is defending the LDS and their brand of theology. So why carry on having a kick at the Mormons?

Because the convesation between you and PITCH has lead me to google Mormonism and now I'm stumbling upon tons and tons of hilarious stuff, which I felt the urge to share. Sorry last piss taking post about Mormonism.

Last quote I promise:

18. It is sometimes helpful to have a physical object to use in overcoming this problem. A Book of Mormon, firmly held in hand, even in bed at night has proven helpful in extreme cases.
19. In very severe cases it may be necessary to tie a hand to the bed frame with a tie in order that the habit of masturbating in a semi-sleep condition can be broken. This can also be accomplished by wearing several layers of clothing which would be difficult to remove while half asleep.
 
Thank fuck for that. 4 more years.

This was a good discussion, I found myself agreeing with everyone. Was it Alistair Campbell that said 'we don't do God' and then Blair outed himself as a Catholic after he stopped being PM? I think its impossible for religion & politics to be kept separate, if someone stands up & declares themselves a complete aetheist they'll lose votes, and similarly if they declare themselves a Mormon.

Religion does seem to cause an awful lot of strife.

i didnt know all that about the mormons, crazy stuff. Sam I think it is relevant to the discussion, the Mormon practises. i know an American catholic who was against Obama purely for abortion policy, and seem to have disregarded all the other stuff. Bonkers.

We got there. Thanks fuck that MSB's not around to drag this one out for a few pages of paragraph-free hysteria. :D

Aint that the truth :) The server would be in meltdown.
 
Samhain-MUSTNOTDISCRIMINATE-Grim. Calm down.

Sorry, I just think it (the 'Mormons believe in silly things' angle) got pretty old about a page ago.

And I'll be the judge of when I need to calm down, ta. :)

Mental Kenny said:
I was wondering what happened to Mr Smokes Blunt, haven't seen him post in a while, has he left?

He's on an extended break, shall we say.

Fear not, because I'm sure the time he dedicated to Bluelight will be spent on single-handedly reviving the British economy.
 
So what if you found it boring? It doesn't seem like anyone else did.

You are trying really hard at this "don't discriminate against anyone for anything" act & it's quite transparent.

Maybe I'll go stand outside a Mormon's house & shout at them. Would that be more acceptable? Rather than clutter up your wee board with my bullshit?
 
So what if you found it boring? It doesn't seem like anyone else did.

I changed it to 'old' - check the edit. Because it was. Any interesting debate on the separation of religion and politics was getting stifled by the nudge-wink "huh-huh, Mormons don't wank" talk.

parttime crackhead said:
You are trying really hard at this "don't discriminate against anyone for anything" act & it's quite transparent.

I honestly think you've too much time on your hands to infer such. All I'm doing is reminding people of the BLUA and trying to dwell on the interesting issues rather than the Mormon-bashing.

I'll tell you what probably isn't transparent - your bedroom window. Why not get busy?
 
Samhain-MUSTNOTDISCRIMINATE-Grim. Calm down.

Mormons have a whole guide on how not to rip the heid off it, surely that's funny & worthy of posting?

You think big Mitt skelps it in secret?

lol.

if he can get it up.


Apparently in the mormon state they have a 'sin' tax, where caffienated beverages attract an extra fee for being sinful.
 
I changed it to 'old' - check the edit. Because it was. Any interesting debate on the separation of religion and politics was getting stifled by the nudge-wink "huh-huh, Mormons don't wank" talk.



I honestly think you've too much time on your hands.

I'll tell you what isn't transparent - your bedroom window. Get on it.

Too much time on my hands? I'm unemployed & I'm typing a few words on the internet while watching Homeland. You're at work (I assume) yet you also post a power of shit on here &, apparently, moderate the place. I think you have far more time on your hands than me by the looks of things.
 
Too much time on my hands? I'm unemployed & I'm typing a few words on the internet while watching Homeland. You're at work (I assume) yet you also post a power of shit on here &, apparently, moderate the place. I think you have far more time on your hands than me by the looks of things.

Oh, whatever.

I could prepare a smug and insensitive reply about how I'm getting paid for this time whereas you're not, but I really don't have the energy.

Enjoy Homeland.
 
Too efficient in my (real-life) job and allowed the freedom of the internet, maybe. We'll agree to differ and leave it at that.

Fuck Ian Paisley, Ally McCoist, square sausage and The Krankies too

parttime crackhead said:
Maybe I'll go stand outside a Mormon's house & shout at them. Would that be more acceptable? Rather than clutter up your wee board with my bullshit?

That's what I generally do. Yeah, what are you waiting for?
 
Speaking ill of Big Shoodirs? I should report you, but I've told the big man himself.

paisleyivholding.jpg
 
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