Gibberings CIX: Faulty 'y' key? Or just high?

[Marmalade]

Urbain?

He'll be wishing he got Urbain on the end of the line when he tries to sort out his student loan fuck up in the morning tho ;p


but when he ends up getting a 'couldn't give a fuck me' SpadeMonkey on the end of the line, he'll not be happy (and it'll no doubt take ten times longer and 4 more phone calls to sort out than it should)

 

[TheSpade]

Most of the time I did my job as expected but not to the point where I'm repeating the company mission statement like a fucking robot back to the customers and actually believing it.

 

[brimz]

New Banged Up Abroad on atm look good

 

[parttime crackhead]

If I phone my bank (still HSBC) & get an Urbain style character on the phone trying to give at all the "rapport building" shite I get really pissed off. "Good afternoon Mr XXX, how are you today?" ... "I want to make a bill payment" ... "some other random shite chat that has nothing to do with what I want & is all supposedly to get me to be their friend so they can eventually try to sell me some shite & I'll buy into it" ... "I said, I want to make a bill payment. Want to just do it? I don't care what you did at the weekend & you don't care what I did, I care about getting this money transferred, do it please".

When I get someone who's just straight to the point, clearly can't be fucked doing anything other than the bare minimum it's far better. Tell them what to do, if necessary tell them how to do it, make sure it's done then "Cheers mate" & hang up.

 

[Marmalade]

Let's not assume Urbain gives it that on the phone cause that's daft. I imagine as good service goes it's just about solving the problem, and not being all computer says no about it. Lots of CS people dont give a fuck, have the wrong attitude and cant be bothered to problem solve or go out of the script and actually try to think about alt ways of helping if it becomes necessary.

While Urbain is possibly Mr Amazon, I doubt he'll be all howdy doody on the blower

I've had to deal with some faulty returns to amazon before and I gotta say they had excellent phone service and no quibble about refunding me. The was no fluff on the phone either ..

 

[badandwicked]

I know a kid who said 'computer says no' and hung up on about 30 calls when there was a 30 minute call waiting time. He got the sack, it was definitely kamikazee (sp).

 

[TheSpade]

Some places you aren't allowed to go off script, in the marketing place I worked at you had to stick to the script down to a tee or you're call was deemed worthless as we were doing market research. Everything was scripted including your responses to customers questions which often meant saying something that made little sense back to them when they'd ask a question.

 

[eclipsedesign]

you have a 2112 postcount!

for some reason I always notice this with posters. tis such a great album

You're damn right it's a good album! Really want to see them on the UK tour but it's a bit out of my price range :/

The excuse for what? That call centre was more like a large open plan office, just that everyone happened to be on the phone all day. Other call centres are like fucking day-care for spazzies, making you play stupid games or ring a bell when you sell something & get cunts to cheer etc. Some of the dicks buy right into it as well, I just continued to sit at my desk looking raging when any of that shite was going on, which meant I "wasn't a team player" to which I replied "I don't want to be part of a team of 6 year olds, thanks".

Eurgh I hate all that shit. Had a second interview (of course everyone gets a second interview..) for some shitty marketing firm when I was jobless and they had all this 'team building' rituals where they all ran around chanting things before they all went out and knocked on random houses to sell whatever stuff they sold. Felt so sorry for the poor fuckers that gave up everything to join what turned out to be a nasty pyramid comission paid post. Once I heard there was no minimum wage I politely told them where to go.

 

[Marmalade]

Some places you aren't allowed to go off script, in the marketing place I worked at you had to stick to the script down to a tee or you're call was deemed worthless as we were doing market research. Everything was scripted including your responses to customers questions which often meant saying something that made little sense back to them when they'd ask a question.

I don't mind being deemed worthless in those situations tbh. Ive had similar restrictions in my jobs, particularly when selling credit cards, and I ignored the restrictions then too when necessary. To prevent getting reprimanded for shit like that you can always justify it as being in the customers best interest. I don't mind taking the fall in those type of occasions, rules like that can fuck right off as far as Im concerned

 

[TheSpade]

The survey you just carried out was deemed worthless and therefore invalid. If that kept happening you were in trouble. You had to complete so many per shift as well or you'd start to drop down in pay pretty quickly. Cold calling people and asking them to carry out surveys is bollocks. I never understood why anyone said yes.

 

[Marmalade]

Me either. When it happens to me or at my mum's I instantly interrupt and say,' can you take me off your calling list please', and they instantly have to legally, and they aren't allowed to try to change your mind either. legally they can only ask you why.

Even works on the Carphone Warehouse twats when they try to ring you (70 times a day) as your contract's coming to an end

I'm on the telephone preferential phone servicelist as well, so those sorts of calls are at a minimum anyway

 

[parttime crackhead]

Let's not assume Urbain gives it that on the phone cause that's daft. I imagine as good service goes it's just about solving the problem, and not being all computer says no about it. Lots of CS people dont give a fuck, have the wrong attitude and cant be bothered to problem solve or go out of the script and actually try to think about alt ways of helping if it becomes necessary.

While Urbain is possibly Mr Amazon, I doubt he'll be all howdy doody on the blower

I've had to deal with some faulty returns to amazon before and I gotta say they had excellent phone service and no quibble about refunding me. The was no fluff on the phone either ..

He seemed like he was towing the company line totally, so if that's the company line then that's what he's doing. You think anycunt working for my bank cares how I'm doing today? They are told to do this, their calls are monitored, they get into shit if they don't do it.

I know a kid who said 'computer says no' and hung up on about 30 calls when there was a 30 minute call waiting time. He got the sack, it was definitely kamikazee (sp).

Someone at the tax office said "Get to fuck!" to a person on the phone. He blamed it on stress & got taken off the phones for 3 months, not even a written warning or anything like that haha. Probably another reason why the service is bad, you actually need to put a shift it when it comes to trying to get sacked. It took me fucking ages & I was deliberately trying to get the sack (not for gross misconduct though, as that would have meant no "fuck off money") for a long time before it eventually happened. I could have strung it out even longer if I'd wanted to but by that point I was only on SSP so there was no point, I wanted my pay-off!

My mate who worked there told someone who had said that he knew where the call centre was & was going to wait outside for him (how he'd know what he looked like I don't he'd thought of) my mate replied "Pal, I've got your address on the screen right in front of me. Shut it or I'll come to your house & kill your cat". Nothing happened to him at all, I don't think he even got found out for it. I was sitting next to him at the time because we were both on a late shift, I couldn't take another call for about 20 minutes because I was rolling about laughing.

 

[badandwicked]

This kid was under a shit load of stress, we all were. With 30-45 minute waiting times you can imagine what mood the customers were in when they got through, the slightest problem would trigger a meltdown and it went on for nearly a year. It was car insurance so not like they couldn't just not bother and they resented it understandably.

We couldn't understand why the company just wouldn't recruit more staff, morale was through the floor and then it turned out they had been on the brink of the credit crunch and obviously behind the scenes crisis (RBS owned company).

I was scarred for life.

 

[parttime crackhead]

This kid was under a shit load of stress, we all were. With 30-45 minute waiting times you can imagine what mood the customers were in when they got through, the slightest problem would trigger a meltdown and it went on for nearly a year. It was car insurance so not like they couldn't just not bother and they resented it understandably.

We couldn't understand why the company just wouldn't recruit more staff, morale was through the floor and then it turned out they had been on the brink of the credit crunch and obviously behind the scenes crisis (RBS owned company).

I was scarred for life.

Apart from the RBS owned & credit crunch bit that sounds pretty much identical to HMRC. It was tax, & therefore people's wages, so it was the same. The worst was when we'd send some fucked up tax code to an employer (sometimes for thousands of people, occasionally more, at once) , who would apply it without thinking, that would mean the person would literally receive no pay at the end of the month. Easy enough to fix in 2 minutes, but they don't get their money back until the next time they get paid & there was fuck all we could do about it other than make up some shit about "ask your employer to run the payroll again", which 99.9% of employers either can't or just won't do.

When I stopped going to work at HMRC morale was rock bottom, every single person who answered phones in there wanted out (apart from a few total idiots who lacked the intelligence to even comprehend why it was incredibly stressful & just followed their script blindly without thinking about what was actually happening, or what they were really doing, other than click this button, then that button, then say "..."). They were trying to reduce staffing levels even though we had about half the staff needed to provide a decent service level.

I've probably just broken the "Official Secrets Act" haha. Fuck them.

 

[TheSpade]

Me either. When it happens to me or at my mum's I instantly interrupt and say,' can you take me off your calling list please', and they instantly have to legally, and they aren't allowed to try to change your mind either. legally they can only ask you why.

Yeah you have to make sure to tell them to remove you from the list and they they've never to call you again. Saying certain stuff like "don't call me again" isn't enough and might mean at best they won't call you again for THAT campaign but will keep you on the list for next time. Even when people were shouting and screaming and going fucking daft obviously not wanting to be called again when we passed on the complain to supervisors they say "did they use the phrase take me off the list? because if they didn't, and we'll check, then we won't remove them". Utter jobs worth cunts.

 

[Arnold]

 

[Mental Kenny]

I wish we had a "like" button ^

 

[Myshkin]

so how are we all enjoying burn a catholic night? much more fun than tying up the swings on a sunday?

Can't beat a good sectarian joke, even if it does end up going over most people's heads.

 

[pinkpapaver]

Is there a particular night for that??? I thought you were allowed to do that whenever you want.

no one apart from crakheed. i would expect nothing less

 

[Inso]

I do fucking slate people who cold call my house phone though, probally get around 6-8 a day now and its just annoying they just talk for 3 minutes without me letting a word in..

They are crappy salespeople then, always got to make the other person speak more therefore they feel in control of the conversation and are more likepy to be receptive and stay on the phone.

That's the thing, general call centre telesales is bloody awful but there are some nicer businesslike sales roles where its more consultive and not soul destroying, with much nicer money to be earned. But you have to get experience in the really shitty ones first heh.