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Gibberings CCV - I've got kids. I take drugs. I'm proud. Fuck off.

Just walked my volunteering cus was stressed n they were all looking at me prob thinking you thicknidiot somthat'll prob be end of that but I had to get out of there there were all looking at me. I can't deal with stress at all. :(
Oh well lets add it to another stupid thing I done.

Evey
 
Eveleivibe said:
Just walked my volunteering cus was stressed n they were all looking at me prob thinking you thicknidiot somthat'll prob be end of that but I had to get out of there there were all looking at me. I can't deal with stress at all. :(
Oh well lets add it to another stupid thing I done.

Evey
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Please don't take this as anything remotely personal: what you report is textbook anxiety and paranoia caused by excessive stimulant use.
I can all but guarantee the only one who thought such a thing is yourself, no one else. They were not all staring at you, it is simply a very common and distressing occurrence that is entirely the result of the drugs in one's brain.

Cut out the stimulants and I 100% assure you that it won't happen again. :)

Take care.
 
No this is me normally. Ive got a partially sight prob n had to keep having to ask other lady the updated prices, looking dead close to the till like a spazz then a bloke spilt his coffee n everyone kept looking at me. I usually go in the morning, n not the afternoon, n just deal with the teas n coffees n maybe the odd till but I cannot cope with all those demands n them all looking expecting this that the other n thinking "who's this dopey thick cow" I literally ran out of the place. Two years I been going there I'm never showing my face there again. Funny thing is I don't feel owt about the fact I just walked out just feel normal n relieved. I can't cope with all those people thinking goodness what I can't help having a disability I tried my best.
In fact this 3 stops me crying n being emotional I think it's actually doing me some good. I'm not taken half of what I was before n am given it up soon :)

Evey
 
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No one thinks like that, promise you. They probably don't even notice. I'm not good myself with stuff like that because dyspraxia so I'm forever dropping stuff, fumbling keys, fucking stuff up and I got so self conscious that people would take the piss when they were training me at work but people are really understanding of it and that's the ones that notice. It's noticeable to you and I'm not undermining your disability, just saying they probably don't notice it and if they do and make a nasty comment or do anything other than try accommodate then fuck em. If anyone comments to me I'm like 'sorry, got dyspraxia, please be patient/show me this again/whatever' and literally no one has ever done anything other than go 'ok' and help out where/if needed.
 
Ugh I feel guilty. Thank goodness I was on 3f or I'd have prob acted really emotion n snapped ar them all. I kept it together mosrly n tried hard to serve them but fuck I get comfused with this. That's why I never really Mention my degree. What usw is thar when I can't cope with a busy cafe in courts? I've only had confidence to talk to people all these years becausr I've been on subbies n citalopram otherwise I'm a nervous wreck. People svare me always have but they fascinate me too. Wish I could be confident n loud but at 36 I don't I ever wil be. Loud people train my energy levels n i have to ger away from them be on my own n my energy leveks are ok again then. I'm always mega tired around people. Fuck knows what I'm gba do when I come off subs - become a xomplete nervous idiot again. Am dreading that day. Bugger.

Evey
 
Is a typical thing of social anxiety, I think. I enjoy seeing people but we have certain friends I sort of find it draining to be around sometimes cos it's just constant loud talking and I get all withdrawn and snappy so have to really work through it and not show it. It honestly helps to just disregard what people think, like so what? That's their opinion. Hard to put into practice, though
 
After getting no sleep the previous night, I've been sleeping in 2-3 hour bursts, punctured by an hour of being awake, since 7pm last night. Every time I lay down I'm getting the most insane mental-dump vivid dreams. All slept out now and feeling like I've had my soma :D I feel fucking dandy <3
 
Vivid dreams are awesome, even the scary ones I find pretty cool. Been having a lot of lucid dreams recently but can never think what to do in them. Started like a week ago when I was dreaming I was in a speeding car and couldn't slow it down, looked at my hands and saw I had no tattoos and was missing a finger and thought 'Oh I'm dreaming ok'. Still crashed the car, though. Since then I've had loads, weird cos I don't normally remember my dreams if I'm smoking weed.
 
snolly said:
Vivid dreams are awesome, even the scary ones I find pretty cool. Been having a lot of lucid dreams recently but can never think what to do in them. Started like a week ago when I was dreaming I was in a speeding car and couldn't slow it down, looked at my hands and saw I had no tattoos and was missing a finger and thought 'Oh I'm dreaming ok'. Still crashed the car, though. Since then I've had loads, weird cos I don't normally remember my dreams if I'm smoking weed.
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None of mine turned lucid but my cue is usually that the light switches aren't working. I really like scary dreams/nightmares (except the emotionally devastating ones). All of my dreams in the past 24 hours have been very panicky but very enjoyable. In one I was part of a mass group of baton throwers walking through London for some Olympics ceremony :\ I wasn't very good at it, but always caught it. I'm sure there's a metaphor for my life in there somewhere 8)
 
Don Luigi said:
None of mine turned lucid but my cue is usually that the light switches aren't working. I really like scary dreams/nightmares (except the emotionally devastating ones). All of my dreams in the past 24 hours have been very panicky but very enjoyable. In one I was part of a mass group of baton throwers walking through London for some Olympics ceremony :\ I wasn't very good at it, but always caught it. I'm sure there's a metaphor for my life in there somewhere 8)
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The esteemed Professor Freud covered that pretty well.
The metaphor is dick.
It's always dick.
Dick.
 
SquidInSunglasses said:
It was better when he was the culture secretary, apart from for that poor radio presenter's career of course.
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I suppose, but "Jezza" is perhaps my favourite euphemism as a result...

Also:
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