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Getting things in line for the end.

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TheOpposite said:
I am attempting it again.

I hope I die this time
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I don't think you do. Maybe you feel like there are no other options but everything in your body says stay alive. It's how we are wired.


It's not unusual for people on this site to have parents that were/are addicted to drugs. I can remember as a very young child watching my mother sitting on the couch staring at the wall for hours on end. No tv on, no radio, no nothing. She would just sit in a dark room with her worthless abusive boyfriend and stare at the wall.

I have a ton of stories about life being raised by an addict. Very comical to recall, a few very serious issues at the time. She was also an alcoholic and would leave little 4-5 year old me in the car until 2am while she drank at the bar.

It's also worth noting that dad was an alcoholic as well with a very short fuse. Never hit me but damn he was intimidating to me. He also enjoyed a drug or two in his day.

You wanna talk? Let's talk. Let's all just take a step back, calm down and talk.
 
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TheOpposite said:
Why anyone thinks I've lied? Not my problem.
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I never thought you have lied. Did you get that impression from my post?
I just want you to be fine and presented my own perspective of what I have learned after reading the entire thread.
We are here to help, no judgments at all. We want you to be fine by sharing things that are bothering you at the moment.
How are you in reference to your goals, like finishing school, your book. How's your family?
 
I took about 56 pills of gabapentin. It's all I had and was my only option.
That doesn't work.

I'm very, very seriously ill now. I need to really check over this feed. I think my daughter has read it by now. Because somehow it got out.

Let me read my followerers responses.
Anyone still reading this... let me try and get my gears straight. I've been drunk non stop since my relapse. I really can't even think straight.

But gabapentin does not work. I've just literally destroyed my beauty and my insides for days now.

I am hideous.
 
Erikmen said:
I never thought you have lied. Did you get that impression from my post?
I just want you to be fine and presented my own perspective of what I have learned after reading the entire thread.
We are here to help, no judgments at all. We want you to be fine by sharing things that are bothering you at the moment.
How are you in reference to your goals, like finishing school, your book. How's your family?
Click to expand...

My father is talking to me. Sort of. After I tried jumping out of his car... well I'm still alive WHY I don't know.
But he's kind of talking to me still.
 
gmlifer said:
I don't think you do. Maybe you feel like there are no other options but everything in your body says stay alive. It's how we are wired.


It's not unusual for people on this site to have parents that were/are addicted to drugs. I can remember as a very young child watching my mother sitting on the couch staring at the wall for hours on end. No tv on, no radio, no nothing. She would just sit in a dark room with her worthless abusive boyfriend and stare at the wall.

I have a ton of stories about life being raised by an addict. Very comical to recall, a few very serious issues at the time. She was also an alcoholic and would leave little 4-5 year old me in the car until 2am while she drank at the bar.



It's also worth noting that dad was an alcoholic as well with a very short fuse. Never hit me but damn he was intimidating to me. He also enjoyed a drug or two in his day.

You wanna talk? Let's talk. Let's all just take a step back, calm down and talk.
Click to expand...


You said your mom sat and stared at the wall? Do you know what she was diagnosed with? I ask because I literally do that sometimes.
 
gmlifer said:
I don't think you do. Maybe you feel like there are no other options but everything in your body says stay alive. It's how we are wired.


It's not unusual for people on this site to have parents that were/are addicted to drugs. I can remember as a very young child watching my mother sitting on the couch staring at the wall for hours on end. No tv on, no radio, no nothing. She would just sit in a dark room with her worthless abusive boyfriend and stare at the wall.

I have a ton of stories about life being raised by an addict. Very comical to recall, a few very serious issues at the time. She was also an alcoholic and would leave little 4-5 year old me in the car until 2am while she drank at the bar.

It's also worth noting that dad was an alcoholic as well with a very short fuse. Never hit me but damn he was intimidating to me. He also enjoyed a drug or two in his day.

You wanna talk? Let's talk. Let's all just take a step back, calm down and talk.
Click to expand...

My drunken behavior is all over this thread. I'm barely catching up. Hold on while I try and read.
 
This whole thread should be deleted. I'm trying to figure out how and I just don't care enough and can barely see.

This should all be erased.
 
Hey it's not late. You can still call an abulance and puke. Hopefully getting near death made the idea less apealing, it has happened to me. So pls if you read this try to save your self now. Your suiside won't help your daughter, it will make everything worse for her.
 
bomber said:
Hey it's not late. You can still call an abulance and puke. Hopefully getting near death made the idea less apealing, it has happened to me. So pls if you read this try to save your self now. Your suiside won't help your daughter, it will make everything worse for her.
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Please read everything I've said about my daughter. I am only hurting her.
 
TheOpposite said:
Please read everything I've said about my daughter. I am only hurting her.
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And what do you think, that killing yourself will make her happy? You will hurt her for life if you die now, so pls call an abulance and puke, don't loose time.
 
Call an "ambulance". They are very aware of who I am. I've lost my whole medical license over this.
 
TheOpposite said:
Call an "ambulance". They are very aware of who I am. I've lost my whole medical license over this.
Click to expand...
It doesn't matter, they won't let you just die, you will get help. Just call and puke. And even better get out of your house so in case you pass out someone will help you.
 
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