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Getting someone to pay you back

LuGoJ- if you owe the money, you should be the one to go meet him (although you said you offered to meet at the station I see). Is there a reason you can't just mail a check or money order and be done with it?
 
I've actually had a friendship go sour because a friend wouldn't lend me money when I really needed it to avoid a very embarassing situation at a grocery store where my debit card wouldn't work.

The kicker was, I'd never asked him for money before and it was something like $12.00... and he was my roomy.
 
one time, i was buying a car and I talked tis guy down like $1000 on the price. I told him I would give him cash, but the bastard bank was closed for some monday holiday. i called a friend (a good friend)that i know has tons of cash on hand, in a safe, and asked to borrow $3000 for 1 day. he said NO and it still bugs me. I would lend a good friend $3000 foar a day if trusted them, so i guess Im not trust worthy?
 
It's weird, but I find some people who seem relatively normal, get very queer when comes to money.

In my opinion, if a good friend hasn't broken your trust and doesn't owe you anything outstanding, then you should feel privelaged that your friend came to you in a time of need. Don't lord it over them, and let that person pay you back in due time. I've gotten burned in the past (for $200) but that would never stop me from lending to a friend in the future.
 
vibr8tor said:
LuGoJ- if you owe the money, you should be the one to go meet him (although you said you offered to meet at the station I see). Is there a reason you can't just mail a check or money order and be done with it?
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Wow i must be a burn out.. never thought about a money order lol, thanks :)
 
My take on it is that it's their problem. If I fronted money or something of value on trust and I don't receive anything back , well that's my fault for refusing to embrace cynicism. I am not going to invest any time/effort/emotion into this sort of thing. Most people, I reckon, feel that their pride is hurt rather than actually needing the money desperately, not saying that it's the case here, but frequently seems to be.
 
get up his ass until he gives you the money, next time he'll think twice before bsing you like that.
 
I lent a "friend" $800 once because he was in a pinch, saying that if he didn't pay this debt they would jail him and he would be without his daughter,......

Anyway, I made him sign something saying he would pay it back by a certain date, after he got his bonus from work. (I'm no dummy)

He never paid, but came by after a bunch of hounding a week or so later, with a check. I took the check, fixed my name (he put an h in my name where it doesn't exist), then took it to the bank.

It came back marked "NSF"- no sufficient funds.

I resubmitted, called my bank, etc. Then of course I had checks that bounced. I called him and set up times for him to come by several times for another month or maybe almost two. I stopped by his place and talked to his girlfriend about it, still no payback. I finally left him a message telling him that I would get it back "somehow" if he didn't pay soon. He paid me like $200 and said the rest I would have in a day or two.

I gave him a more than a few days then went to the courthouse with his rubber check. They set up the case and it was the state against him for check bouncing. I was called as a witness. I took a day off work, went to court and the judge called my name and his name. We walked up front and had the rest in cash, paid me, and apologized. He then asked me to come to his daughter's birthday party the next day. I told him that I didn't feel I could trust him after that...

Now I am disappointed in myself for ever lending it to him, and I feel it pathetic that he did that to me, someone who has always been a good friend to him.
 
Originally Posted by TheLoveBandit
CptBaller - he put money ahead of the friendship when he chose not to pay you back, so in that sense I see vibby's comments making sense. However, more of what you said indicates he may not see himself as solely responsible, seeing as how 'a deal went bad' could happen to anyone anytime. Have you talked to him about it and he is in agreement that he even owes it to you? [Edited - I reread your post and see he intends to pay a third by end of summer, therefore he accepts owing you the money. If you intend to hang out and still pursue the friendship, then you may best be served with the carrot trick L2R described. Get him to save up for certain occassions and collect some of your funds that way whilst still having fun together at times. Just don't try and collect everytime you see him or he'll feel the friendship is dead and start avoiding you.]
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He's one of my favorite friends, so for a while it really was troubling to think that the friendship was completely dead over money. We've turned a corner now, where instead of me trying to pretend like he has all the time in the world to pay me back, I've made him aware that there's an actual economic reality that I have to deal with every day. Sometimes it was hard to have a good time with him, knowing that we were ignoring the eight hundred pound gorilla in the room. But after I laid it out on the table for him last about a week ago (or whenever I made that post), we have had a good time, and will again this weekend. I don't want him to think that I'm only hanging out with him because I want my money - I'm hanging out with him because we always have a great time, and we've known each other for years. He's been decent enough, however, to not ignore me even when all I would do is ask about the money. Which I think says a lot, but nonetheless, I think I'm following the best strategy by mixing the fun with the reality...
 
oldskoolbl said:
Kidnap the persons pet.
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Hahahahaha. That is genius!!!

I would FREAK OUT if you stole my dog though. I'd pay you back right away at any cost, and I supect someone else would if they loved their pet like a lot of us do. Of course, I would never rip someone off either....
 
I wasn't totally serious (well it depends on the circumstances).... but I would definitely NOT hurt anybody's animal, in fact id kidnap some food so it would be happily fed while it waited for its owner to retrieve it.
 
A friend of mine just recently lent another friend a fairly large sum of money to pay a debt he had. for all intents and purposes the guy "T" should have had the money by the next day, as he is a street pharmacist and usually has the fuckin money. but for some reason or another he never called back and it took "R" about an entire month before he even got ahold of T at all, and then another couple of days til R got payment, and on top of that the "payment" was weed, which I'm sure he didn't pay the same amount for as he owes R, but he didn't care, ok whatever. but the real kicker of this whole thing is, T is like one of our BEST friends. like we go way back, and lately since hes been moving a little more weight and whatnot he seems to have caught that "I'm cooler than everyone" virus and now he can only hang out with other dealers or people who have tons of money to waste on stupid fucking shit and dont have real jobs. so he's completely ignored ALL of his "friends" (i.e. me, R, and another friend of ours) for this entire month.... sorry, I guess this turned into somewhat of a rant. but I guess I'm mad, lol.
 
yea i fucking hate these situations!

months back some festival tickets were released, i got my student loan and was going to buy mine, but a friend didn't have his bank card [apparently] at that time so asked if i'd buy his ticket [£120 or $240 ish] in advance that weekend and he'd "go into the bank on monday and get me the cash". Well that never happend but i figured he'd be on it and wasn't going to outright demand the money too early on. He also asked if he could borrow £20 so we could go out and party and said he'd give me that on the monday at the same time.

The following week we went to a rave type event and it was never mentioned. This was the start of may. Since then this guys disappeared to me, i've contacted him just generally, not even asking for money, and there's been no reply. The festival is at the end of july so its really coming to crunch time; i can return the ticket but will lose the booking fee and prolly not get the £20 back as it may get me on his "bad" side [even though it isn't my fault], or i can just wait it out and hope he comes around.

Actually reading what i've written it pretty clear what i need to do! i think is should just call up and say "look i really need that money, if you cant get it to me soon i'm gonna have to return the ticket and suggest you buy your own", i just like to think of myself as a layed back guy so getting put in this situation is really awkward! i should known not to lend someone with debt problems money but at the time i had no reason to say no i guess :\
 
lacey k said:
Why dont you just rob him. just set up a deal for some shit he wants and when he comes with the money to pay you for whatever he is obtaining take it and say thanks and bounce and dont give him shit.
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Word. I was just thinking that.
 
jondice said:
the best way to lose a friend is to lend them money
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QFT.

the money is gone.

and to those of you suggesting robbing the person: for shame!

stealing is wrong and should NOT be condoned for whatever reason.

...once you start down that road of "its okay to steal because..." it becomes a slippery slope, you might find yourself with more and more excuses/reasons/whatevers to steal money.

its a path i would not start down. that is just me tho.
 
rhythmdaddy said:
Hahahahaha. That is genius!!!

I would FREAK OUT if you stole my dog though. I'd pay you back right away at any cost, and I supect someone else would if they loved their pet like a lot of us do. Of course, I would never rip someone off either....
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reciprocation is NOT the answer; it only leads to more trouble.

kidnap my pet? id go absolutely apeshit. someone would get hurt.

its morally wrong, and unfair to the animal. do you think the dog/cat would LIKE being kidnapped, even if you fed it??:X

the best way to avoid these situations, ive learned, is not to lend money.

cut your losses (if it means losing a friend, so be it), and move on.

DONT create more drama over the situation!
 
Show up at his work.

Show up at his house.

Keep showing up every day.

He will pay up once he is being constantly harassed.
 
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