• Life Advice & Visual Arts Welcome Guest
    Posting Rules Bluelight Rules
    🌌 Share Your Dreams! 🌌
    📸 15 Years of Photo Contests 📸
  • LAVA Moderator: Shinji Ikari

Getting someone to pay you back

captainballs

captainballs

Bluelighter
Joined
Sep 21, 2004
Messages
9,954
Someone owes me some money, and I always have a hard time bringing it up and ironing out precise terms. It's not something I can go to court over, and the guy is probably broke but usually resourceful. How do I get him to get me back this money?

P.S. - No physical threats, just what can I say to trick that person into wanting to pay me back?
 
write it off.....really :|

i gave a dancer friend $700. and never seen a dime, small claims court is a joke ( been there done that ).
then i gave her x $200. to bail a friend out of jail and never seen that !
Its like buying bad ecstacy, will the seller give you your money back ?
 
Fuck that. I'm so tired of people who owe money just being "written off". If you owe someone money,you either pay them or explain why you can't. It is NOT the responsibility of the lender to inquire about the money. There are things that you just don't forget and borrowing money from a friend is one of them. If this person is avoiding the issue,you confront him directly. No beating around the bush. But be polite. Mention the loan and the fact that you are going to be neeeding that money for(insert reason here)very soon. If he is unable to pay you back,then he should have said so in the beginning and asked you to give him the money,rather than calling it a loan. You say he's resourceful? Then he can pay you back. Being direct with people who owe you money is the best way to handle the situation. YOU did HIM the favor. He's not doing you a favor by paying you back. He's only fufilling his obligation.
 
find an event that this person would probably really want to go to, call them and ask them to go with you. once he gets all excited, tell him that in order to organise tickets and so on, you'll need to collect on that money he owes you.

2cents worth
 
The night-out thing may work, but it would have to be a night worth several thousand dollars, and I would have to somehow arrange it for free in order to still come out on top.
 
Last edited:
L2R said:
find an event that this person would probably really want to go to, call them and ask them to go with you. once he gets all excited, tell him that in order to organise tickets and so on, you'll need to collect on that money he owes you.

2cents worth
Click to expand...
How would you keep from actually having to follow through on the event?
 
what's a night out when you're finances are square? but if you must, your mother's sick or something.

captainballs said:
The night-out thing may work, but it would have to be a night worth several thousand dollars, and I would have to somehow arrange it for free in order to still come out on top.
Click to expand...

not necessarily. the money you're requesting is simply to be square, so then you could cover it.

i didn't expect the debt to be so large.

Shit, for that much, i'd straight up break his balls for it. (not literally)
 
Why dont you just rob him. just set up a deal for some shit he wants and when he comes with the money to pay you for whatever he is obtaining take it and say thanks and bounce and dont give him shit.
 
I've been in this situation before, and with a pretty substantial loan. It was made on good faith, but it took my friend a lot longer to start making payments than we had agreed to. By a lot longer, I mean years. So I went to a lawyer and had a contract written up, with payment dates and amounts specified. Interest was factored in, as well as the $100 or so that the lawyer was charging. We both signed it, and that made me feel a lot better about the possibility of getting payed back in the future, because I had something to actually take into court if need be. Obviously, it would have been much wiser to have a signed agreement before the loan was given out, but the whole "friend" aspect kinda blurred my judgement. But it was a good thing we were still getting along, because nothing was forcing my friend to sign the agreement at that point, other than decent morals. All worked out fine in the end, so that's my suggestion for you :)
 
I used to live with a guy that had a bad habit of borrowing money and never paying anything back. I did alot of partying with the guy and that was pretty much how he racked up his debt. Well anyway, he was also prescribed xanax, which gave me an idea. Him and myself would get smashed, drinking and eating xanaxs ( Hold the harm reduction speal ) Well, while we were fucked up I'd ask to borrow X amount of money off of him ( whatever he owed me ) and he'd give it to me. Would'nt remember a thing the following day either. Got everything he ever owed me back.




might be worth a try?=D
 
Nah he's never really that out of it. When it comes to money we're both pretty much on cue no matter what. Really the debt is from a deal gone wrong back in the day that wasn't directly his fault (although if I had micro-managed him the way I like to, which always means erring on the side of extreme safety like an old man investing 100% in bonds, we both agreed that this wouldn't have happened).

I spoke to him, and he hopes to have a third of the debt paid off before the summer is up. I mean, we're both pretty much adults. It is what it is: if he wants to be a shithead about my friendship, he knows that I just won't be his friend anymore. And he also knows that life is too short to just fuck your friends over a little money. This situation is far from over, however, and I'm still open to suggestions.

lacey, I have listened to 50 Cent many times and I can still only act tough enough to take your advice when I'm doing my mean gorilla dance in front of the mirror.

vibr8tor, that's not a bad plan. I hate to have to quantify friendships like that - sometimes I don't know if I have the heart for it... but this situation does bother me enough to take at least some sort of action.
 
Last edited:
yea this might be the first 'the fuck owes me money' thread that didnt deteriorate into 'fuck him up'

makes me smile :)
 
I have a question that is similar..

I owe an old friend around $150, he went on vacation a for a few months and i told him that he could get it when he came back. He finally came back and on multiple occasions I have told him that he could come by to pick it up, he gets the train to work about 3 blocks away from my house and i have offered to meet him at the station. Over the past few months he has said that he would come over countless times, and at least 2-3 times a week I tell him that i am around and he can swing by on his way to or back from work. He still has never come over. Once in a while though i will get a call at like 3 or 4 in the morning from him asking if he can come over, i am almost always asleep at this time so i will tell him to swing by in the morning on his way to work.. he never does. In the past 6 months that this has been going on I have probably spend a total of 15 hours sitting around waiting for him. Should i just assume by this point that he doesn't want his money back?
 
CptBaller - he put money ahead of the friendship when he chose not to pay you back, so in that sense I see vibby's comments making sense. However, more of what you said indicates he may not see himself as solely responsible, seeing as how 'a deal went bad' could happen to anyone anytime. Have you talked to him about it and he is in agreement that he even owes it to you? [Edited - I reread your post and see he intends to pay a third by end of summer, therefore he accepts owing you the money. If you intend to hang out and still pursue the friendship, then you may best be served with the carrot trick L2R described. Get him to save up for certain occassions and collect some of your funds that way whilst still having fun together at times. Just don't try and collect everytime you see him or he'll feel the friendship is dead and start avoiding you.]

LuGoJ - clear your conscience and get it done, quit pussyfooting around between the two of you. Obviously, you both agree the money goes to him, and you have it, so get it over with. Just go to his place, or meet him at the train, or whatever - just be somewhere where he will be and hand it to him. He can deal with what to do with it from then on and you're out of it. It's not like he's a bank and you have to wait for open hours, nor are you an atm he can hit up at any hour of the day. Put the money in an envelope, walk up to him, and hand it over - done.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top