Getting clean from methamphetamine, about to enter hell; need help!

[tamajill123]

Phenibut for methamphetamine withdrawal? What else?

This is my first post. I have done every keyword search possible and haven't found an answer to my question; possibly because there isn't one - but I have to ask anyway!
Little background info: I'm a female in my 40's, mother, fitness instructor, and meth addict. I have struggled for about 10 years with this drug. Started out smoking, then IV, had a couple 9-10 month periods of clean time, but relapsed again in December. I've been parachuting about 1/2 g. per day for the last 5 months. I am desperate to quit. I have soooo much at stake and I am one mistake from prison, losing my relationship, job, and health. I've quit meth before (but only when forced to), so I know what to expect. The people that say withdrawal is purely mental haven't experienced it the way I have! Besides the debilitating fatigue, anxiety, depression and paranoia, I have extreme brain fog, sweats/chills (day AND night), my body jerks like crazy when I try to sit or lie still, and I am incabable of any kind of productive activity. It feels like hell.
So here's my question: I am desperate to find some kind of supplement or something that will help me to feel semi-human during this process - I still have to work and teach my classes, I can't spend a week in bed. I've tried coffee, wellbutrin, buspar, none of which helped. I know to stay hydrated, eat well (I understand good nutrition), exercise, etc. I've looked at Phenibut and some others, but I haven't found a report of someone who has used them to come OFF meth.
I plan on quitting in 3 days. I have some benzos and opiates to take if I need them, but they don't seem to help that much either. Oh, and NO ONE knows that I've been using - so I have to hide the fact that I'm in withdrawals which makes everything even more complicated!
I realize it's going to suck no matter what - but if it can suck just a little less that'd be awesome!
Thanks in advance for your help!

Please.... Somebody has to know SOMETHING! I feel sad cuz no one is replying.. Wahhhhh!! Lol

 

[TheirRhonda]

Just a few little words...

Am new here and am trying for third and last time to post you a few words of encouragement - wish you strength and wisdom to get through the living hell. Keep posting please. Am mother of a son going through the same thing you are only he's deteriorated much more than you so get ahead now, hon. Best to you.

 

[herbavore]

Hi tamajill and Rhonda and welcome to both of you. OP, Bluelight is a huge forum so don't get discouraged by lots of views with only one reply--that just means that no one that has read it feels they have anything pertinent to offer. Hang tight--there will be responses. I don't personally have any information specific to your situation but here are a thread that may help :http://www.bluelight.org/vb/threads...o-amp-IV-Megathread?highlight=meth+withdrawal

Here is another (non-Bluelight) resource: http://www.choosehelp.com/topics/detox/crystal-meth-detox

There will be some triggering content in the Bluelight meth mega-thread to scroll past, but go down to the "useful links" and you will see several that have to do with meth withdrawals.

I just want to say one thing and that is that having a problem this big that you have to keep completely a secret is a set-up. Everyone needs support to deal with addiction. Addiction's main tool is shame and the mechanism for shame is secret-keeping. That is a lot of stress. I know it can seem terrifying to tell those closest to you but in the long run it will help you leave this behind for good.

 

[TheirRhonda]

Thanks, Herbivore!

Hi tamajill and Rhonda and welcome to both of you. OP, Bluelight is a huge forum so don't get discouraged by lots of views with only one reply--that just means that no one that has read it feels they have anything pertinent to offer. Hang tight--there will be responses. I don't personally have any information specific to your situation but here are a thread that may help :http://www.bluelight.org/vb/threads...o-amp-IV-Megathread?highlight=meth+withdrawal

Here is another (non-Bluelight) resource: http://www.choosehelp.com/topics/detox/crystal-meth-detox

There will be some triggering content in the Bluelight meth mega-thread to scroll past, but go down to the "useful links" and you will see several that have to do with meth withdrawals.

I just want to say one thing and that is that having a problem this big that you have to keep completely a secret is a set-up. Everyone needs support to deal with addiction. Addiction's main tool is shame and the mechanism for shame is secret-keeping. That is a lot of stress. I know it can seem terrifying to tell those closest to you but in the long run it will help you leave this behind for good.

Really appreciate your help & will go to the links later today. You are right about how much relief my son got just being able to admit to me what was wrong and what he was going through but there is a huge stigma attached to meth use - seems moreso than any of the other drugs out there and getting help is just almost impossible up here in Canada. Our legal system is on par with yours so it is touch and go always as to whether or not one will even survive to access any real help if such exists for the poor. I think you are the lady in the Grief section whose son, was it Caleb? who passed and only wrote one time about him. I loved the story of how you knew when you named him that he was your son and so hoped you would write more. Did you do a blog and if so, where can I access it? Thanks, kindly.

 

[LilikoiMoon]

Herbavore is very wise, listen to her.

Tama, you'll find that there are many females on this board, near your age, most with careers, families and share the common bond of addiction. While I've never done meth, my drug of choice was/is opiates, which I've struggled with for over 20 years. I'm 8 days sober! Just know the withdrawals get better!

Guessing the meth gave you the energy you craved to perform job wise? A fitness career requires lots of focus and dedication, so it sounds like you're committed to change.

Yes, I've been through those withdrawals and you're right, they are far from just mental, as the physical symptoms can be hell!

You can do it, Tama! Baby steps, one day at a time. You have to hit rock bottom before getting back to the top.

Suggestions ... Read the "withdrawal arsenial" thread here, sober living, find a local NA group...get a full physical from your Dr. because there can be long term damage from that poison called meth. Perhaps some sort of amph like Adderal can help but even that has the potential for abuse. And get your heart checked. Heart disease is a silent killer in us gals, plus meth can damage your heart. Just a suggestion before you'd consider any type of amph drug.

Good luck, big hug!

 

[CrowetheCat]

Hey there. I have personally never struggled with meth addiction; I've done it scores of times, but my heroin addiction has always overshadowed it. What I can offer you is encouragement.

Know that there are so many people who have fought this battle, who are still fighting, people who've won, people who've lost. I think about all of the friends and unknown people who have been lost to drugs, and I know that I'm fighting for something more than myself when I try to get clean. I'm fighting for free will. We're tired of being dependent on these stupid fucking substances. We belong to ourselves. You are a strong, beautiful woman.

I remember when I was in the throes of heroin withdrawals; I couldn't keep any food down, I was constantly hot or cold, and vomit was my constant companion. But I did it. Time is your friend. Remember that the second you use to get over the withdrawals, you are restarting the clock. At least try to get clean to the point where you can feel physically normal without the drugs. Physical dependence is a hell that I would not wish on anyone.