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Getting clean for romance?

Ketamike

Ketamike

Bluelighter
Joined
Aug 20, 2000
Messages
2,196
Location
Eatontown, NJ
Anybody have any success dropping your drug of choice for a lover. There's this girl that I'm really interested in and she's very much against my heroin use (her brother is also a dopefiend and he breaks her heart). She told me that if I manage to stay clean, that she'll give me a shot. I don't really think of my heroin use as something that defines me. I basically just use it to numb myself (I got really fucked up when my bitchwhore ex left me).

Think I'm just setting myself up for further disappointment?

If things don't work out, think I'll go right back to the smack?
 
it was very easy for me to quit for my girlfriend. but the relationship only lasted like 3-4months. it was only a matter of time before some bullshit went down, and she cheated on me. opiates have never cheated on me. in the end i went right back to the oc.

now i personally don't put any effort in longterm relationships or anything like that. i'm all about hooking up with a girl or having friends with benefits. i don't want to have change myself or my actions just to be with someone. if they don't like the things i do they can leave.
 
I used to have a girlfriend who I did drugs with, and she did them also. We made countless attempts to stay sober together, but after about 3 weeks of being sober, she just wouldn't be enough for me (even though we were "in love"). Fact is, she might fill that hole in your soul for a while.... but eventually it won't be enough.

See, I refer to it as the "Kaboom". It's that point of fucked-upness that is just utterly perfect, utter serenity, peace, madness, that rush. Not all drugs acheive it for me, but some of them that have the Kaboom of which i speak are: Alcohol, Strong Opiates, Cocaine, Esctasy, Crystal Meth, Nitrous, and K. I suppose mushrooms or acid could give it to me sometimes, but it depends on the trip. All of the others are a sure thing.

Anyways, back to my point. ONe of the things i didn't mention earlier that's got that kaboom is, obviously, an orgasm :)

So in conclusion, from my experience, a girl is gonna replace that Kaboom for a while, but in the end, it just won't be enough.
 
i used to think quitting some habit or otherwise "changing" for someone else was really pathetic. i knew all these guys who had girls push them into quitting weed or dealing or whatever, and i always lost a little bit of respect for them when they caved in just for a piece of ass.

i've kind of changed my tune recently. sometimes there are changes that we need to make in order to better our lives, but we can't find the motivation to do it alone. occasionally you will find someone who inspires you to be more, someone who will support you while you struggle during the transition to sobriety, and someone who makes it all worth it in the end.

i guess it all depends on whether or not you're actually ready inside to quit. if it's something you've been considering or something you think would truly help you, then maybe a loving partner is that final push that you need to make it happen. if you're really not ready to quit and you're just doing it to appease someone else, you will most likely half-ass things and ultimately fail. only you can decide at which of these points you are currently standing.

personally i don't much care for the way your girl worded the deal. if anyone ever gave me an ultimatum, i'd walk out the door on general principle. i don't take well to people telling me what to do. maybe i'm interpreting her offer wrong though. in my case, nobody told me to quit, but i understood that things were slowly eroding and would fall apart soon enough if i didn't change my habits. now that i've cut certain vices out of my life, this relationship is better than ever.

if the timing is right, at least give it a shot. once you get past the initial challenges, you might be surprised by how great it feels to be sober.
 
@lterEgo said:
i used to think quitting some habit or otherwise "changing" for someone else was really pathetic. i knew all these guys who had girls push them into quitting weed or dealing or whatever, and i always lost a little bit of respect for them when they caved in just for a piece of ass.
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I totally agree.
 
Ten years ago, I quit a heavy alcohol habit because I met my future wife. I had been dying for a nice girl, and dying to quit drinking; finally, I managed both. Best thing I ever did (quitting drinking and marrying her)... She didn't ask me to quit, but she didn't drink, and breathing beer breath into the face of some nice girl who doesn't drink is gross. Also: I'm an "all-or-nothing" kind of user--comfortable only if using day and night--or not at all...
 
@lterEgo said:
i guess it all depends on whether or not you're actually ready inside to quit. if it's something you've been considering or something you think would truly help you, then maybe a loving partner is that final push that you need to make it happen. if you're really not ready to quit and you're just doing it to appease someone else, you will most likely half-ass things and ultimately fail. only you can decide at which of these points you are currently standing.
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Words of Wisdom...
 
A few years ago I had a girlfriend who was straight edge. She hated that I did drugs. She wanted me to quit doing all drugs, I told her that I would quit everything except weed. That wasn't enough for her, so it was over. I think that even if I had given up all drugs she would have found another reason to leave. She had her reasons for hating drugs, but had never tried any herself. I still miss her, but I don't regret my decision. All the other drugs I do don't mean much to me, I could stop using them without ever looking back, but no one will ever seperate me and Mary Jane.
 
neverfree neverbound said:
Ten years ago, I quit a heavy alcohol habit because I met my future wife. I had been dying for a nice girl, and dying to quit drinking; finally, I managed both. Best thing I ever did (quitting drinking and marrying her)... She didn't ask me to quit, but she didn't drink, and breathing beer breath into the face of some nice girl who doesn't drink is gross. Also: I'm an "all-or-nothing" kind of user--comfortable only if using day and night--or not at all...
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I'm right there with my current gf. We've fought back and forth for a longggg time about my smoking herb. She doesn't like it, I don't like that she doesn't like it, an endless loop....

Someday I will quit smoking weed everyday. That day is not today however, and I guess in the back of my head I hope she's still around when I quit, because she's a good one.

Such a shame that something like weed can create such problems. If it was legal, these would not be issues, as she drinks regularly and sees nothing wrong with it.
 
My drug abuse has really declined a lot and my current S/O is almost done with doing drugs. Eventually I'm going to stop using drugs completely(not even taking some Ecstasy once in a while). I guess if your both changing for the better. She doesn't bother me about my drug use but she tells me that she is trying to change for the better. It makes me want to stop because in a weird way, its like she wants me to stop using also.

I would say that it would be ok to clean for someone but not because they say they want you to, maybe you want to do it to impress them. Don't clean to satisfy what she wants, do it for yourself.
 
HobbyIsBowling,

I was very fortunate in that I was eager to put an end to the panic attacks, which quitting weed did. If I weren't ready to quit drinking and toking, then (with my habits) my marriage would have been a disaster...

But, for those who don't want to quit, it's a bitter situation, I know...
 
>"If it was legal, these would not be issues, as she drinks regularly and sees nothing wrong with it."<

Wow--I just caught that 8o--sheesh...
 
i tried this once with a girl with just weed. We made out one night and if things were to go further she said that I would have to be clean for a month with out smoking then we could do other things. I failed the next day. She was a nice/pretty girl. Oh well. Its best it worked out the way it did :) recently a girl asked me to stop drugs due to family members troubles with them and it came at a time i was contiplating quitting also. So it worked out nicely
 
its worth a try... withdrawl isnt half as bad if you have someone to help you through it, and some valium... if your just an occasional user, hell yeah give the H up.
 
neverfree neverbound said:
>"If it was legal, these would not be issues, as she drinks regularly and sees nothing wrong with it."<

Wow--I just caught that 8o--sheesh...
Click to expand...

I didn't word that last sentence properly. I meant that she drinks on the weekends. She doesn't drink on weekdays or anything like that, which is how it sounds the way I wrote it.
 
I read it to mean: she takes it for granted that she can consume her own Drug Of Choice, but doesn't like that you consume a less-dangerous one...
 
i am somewhat the reverse.

i have minimized indulging in anything to nearly zero so that my girlfriend (we've been together nearly 2 years) will also get motivated to reduce her intake.

she wants to stop, but succumbs to temptations sometimes, and it's harder for any one party in a relationship to stop if the other continues to use.
 
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