So long story short. I am off opiates.
It is something that had to happen for a lot of reasons. I definitely crossed the line and did too much. The pills where causing me more pain than they relieved.
The bottom line is it will kill me if I keep doing it. I am in good health and all, but the way opiates interact with me make me do things I am not so proud of.
I guess its time to man up. I might start treating people better. I can be really passive aggressive and manipulative. Most people are too dumb to pick up on the fact that I am playing them.
I used to be a gentleman and have a lot of friends. I don't think I will get my old friends back and I don't want them. I want to make a clean start of things.
I will enroll in school and finish my degree. I should have finished years ago. I only have one more year.
This whole thing will give me a chance to return to weightlifting, sports, and exercise. I forgot how much I used to actually respect my body.
I don't really look at getting clean as painful as I know the results and well I don't have to worry about so many things I normally would. If I live more proper I won't get in any trouble.
I can date normal chicks and maybe not cheat on them like an asshole. I dunno what made me the way I am where I have no regard for other peoples needs, feelings, or wants. I probably just cared about what I needed or thought I did.
There is no reason I cannot drink and whatnot as before the opiates I never had problems. So I see the problem clear as day now. I could go on, but yeah I can feel my mind and body returning to normal.
Obviously it hasn't been easy and I ran the gauntlet of getting sick. (sick to stomach, triple flue, leg cramps, you all know the deal with kicking off) I made a relatively clean break fast and it hurt. I have hurt worse before, but as always the fear of wd's can be just as bad as them. The suffering was worth it and its the only way off, at least for me.
It is something that had to happen for a lot of reasons. I definitely crossed the line and did too much. The pills where causing me more pain than they relieved.
The bottom line is it will kill me if I keep doing it. I am in good health and all, but the way opiates interact with me make me do things I am not so proud of.
I guess its time to man up. I might start treating people better. I can be really passive aggressive and manipulative. Most people are too dumb to pick up on the fact that I am playing them.
I used to be a gentleman and have a lot of friends. I don't think I will get my old friends back and I don't want them. I want to make a clean start of things.
I will enroll in school and finish my degree. I should have finished years ago. I only have one more year.
This whole thing will give me a chance to return to weightlifting, sports, and exercise. I forgot how much I used to actually respect my body.
I don't really look at getting clean as painful as I know the results and well I don't have to worry about so many things I normally would. If I live more proper I won't get in any trouble.
I can date normal chicks and maybe not cheat on them like an asshole. I dunno what made me the way I am where I have no regard for other peoples needs, feelings, or wants. I probably just cared about what I needed or thought I did.
There is no reason I cannot drink and whatnot as before the opiates I never had problems. So I see the problem clear as day now. I could go on, but yeah I can feel my mind and body returning to normal.
Obviously it hasn't been easy and I ran the gauntlet of getting sick. (sick to stomach, triple flue, leg cramps, you all know the deal with kicking off) I made a relatively clean break fast and it hurt. I have hurt worse before, but as always the fear of wd's can be just as bad as them. The suffering was worth it and its the only way off, at least for me.
